Q: I also was married to a classic N for 28 years. I always knew there was something wrong but it wasn’t until I found these sites that I knew what it was. It was like someone telling my life’s story.
He left me. I had finally had enough and couldn’t put up with the silent treatment, the lies the abuse any longer. Then I found out he had been having an affair for at least 2 years. That was 2 years ago. I am still trying to finalise a settlement agreement. I made no contact with him from the day he walked out. That made him furious. To get through that I would write my replies to his accusing emails in a note pad. It got things out for me and maintained my No contact. (my DR had said to me not to have any contact with him). Then he turned on his children, who are both adults, who he apparently loves, but he abuses them with each and every email he sends to them. I wonder if this will ever stop. He has his new supply.
Why won’t he leave us alone. I still have trouble with self confidence and getting “myself” back. But now some days are good. Everything I have read here is him exactly. I wanted to thank you all as hearing others stories really does help put thing into perspective.
A: Congratulations on maintaining No Contact all these years. I like the idea of writing your responses to his emails in a private notepad instead of actually replying. He is still getting Supply from his children. Please give them information on NPD and No Contact. The abuse will continue for as long as they allow it by allowing contact with him. He WILL leave you alone -eventually- perhaps after the dust settles from the settlement agreement. He will leave the children alone-eventually- after they maintain No Contact.
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