Why Silence is Golden When It Comes To Beating The Narcissist

Silence is power – yet we are led to believe we need to always speak up

…Not anymore!

As we all know, narcissists thrive on attention. They can’t get by without it. 

So… What happens when you take that away? 

Well, for starters, by staying silent, you strip them of their power and stop feeding their ego.

No arguments. No reactions. Just silence. It speaks louder than any confrontation.

Sounds good?

Let’s look at why silence is so golden if you want to beat them at their own game.

Starving The Ego of the Narcissist

When you stop feeding something, it stops growing. It doesn’t get what it needs to maintain a healthy system, whether a plant, a snail, or you!

When you stop putting fuel in a car, eventually, the fuel will run out, and you won’t even be able to start it. It will simply not fulfill the role it was meant to.

Egos work similarly to all the above.

When you stop feeding it, it will no longer be what it once was. The ego cannot feed from anything, so it will cease to exist if there is nothing to give.

Now, normally, that’s quite a good thing. Egos aren’t really helpful to our lives. All the important aspects of it, from leaving the ego at home or not giving it the attention it thrives upon.

I wish I could say the same for narcissists, but they really need their egos. 

With ego comes:

  • Entitlement
  • Anger
  • Resentment
  • Jealousy
  • Fear
  • Desire
  • Selfishness
  • Criticism
  • Manipulation

So, it’s best to shed it, right?

And if you can’t shed it, you can starve the narcissist of those things with your silence!

Words and actions are known to feed the ego of the narcissist, so without yours, what do they have?

See also  These Are The Worst Ways to Break Up With a Narcissist

Nothing!

Falling Right Into Their Hands: Conflict NO NO!

Conflict No No

The problem a lot of people have in narcissistic relationships is falling into the trap of conflict. 

Now, there are so many different kinds of conflict, so let’s go over those briefly: 

  • Silent treatment
  • Arguing
  • Shouting
  • Constant bickering
  • Jealousy
  • Blame

When you enter into conflict, you do so at another loss of a part of yourself. 

It’s hard to see at the time, especially when you’re being drawn into a situation blindly (as often happens with narcissists), but you can learn to spot those signs.

Remember – conflict can only happen when two people participate.

Your silence kills it!

Think About What Narcissists Love For a Moment…

Think About What Narcissists Love For a Moment…

It’s safe to say that narcissists love your reactions. 

Any reaction you give them is the attention they get. Any attention they get acts as supply. And supply? Well, that just makes them feel great!

They won’t hesitate in being thrilled at your misery. Your crying. The sadness. The apologies. The begging and pleading. 

If you strip them of your reactions, you strip them of feeling good about themselves.

I know it seems difficult, and I am not asking you to bottle up how you feel, but it’s at that moment.

Walk away. 

Go to the store for milk.

Head to the bathroom for a shower.

As you walk away, you leave nothing but silence in your trail.

Do what it takes to divert yourself and your reactions from the narcissist. 

quiet confidence

Quiet Confidence?

I personally don’t believe that the louder somebody speaks, the more confident they are. That’s why I find the noise level of most narcissists amusing—because I don’t buy it.

They enjoy the sound of their own voices and expect everybody else around them to either listen intently, adhere, or merely tolerate it. 

See also  DO THIS To Get Under The Skin Of a Narcissist

Noise to me is a distraction from what else is going on. It draws attention to the noise, and away from other things that may matter much more. 

Narcissists are good at that. 

But you know what’s more powerful?

That quiet confidence of someone who knows what they want and how to get it. The less they tell others, the better. 

The kind of people who have goals, and just work hard at them without the need to shout from the rooftops.

Those who are confident enough not to engage with conflict because they would rather opt for a quieter, more composed way of dealing with issues.

And that drives the narcissist wild because – by default – you’re already beating them.

It’s Finally Time to Outshine The Narcissist

It’s Finally Time to Outshine The Narcissist

I know if you’re reading this and can resonate with what I’m saying, it will remind you of all the ways you feel your light has been dulled.

You feel like you haven’t been able to use your voice all this time without realizing that sometimes not using your voice can bring you back your self-respect and self-esteem.

Isn’t it about time you felt empowered again?

And I know you won’t want to play games. It’s not about joining them, it’s about rising above and reclaiming yourself…

…That part of you that you thought was lost forever. 

What Your Silence Can Do For You

What Your Silence Can Do For You

Silence isn’t everybody’s cup of tea. When you think about the narcissist giving you the silent treatment, you might think of how they:

  • Make you feel anxious – what comes next
  • Make you feel as though you’re walking on eggshells. You don’t want to do anything more to make things worse
  • Want you to beg and plead and say how sorry you are for things you haven’t even done
  • Control what’s going on at the moment. If you had plans to go out, you might not feel like it if they are playing silent games with you
See also  Why Do Narcissists Make You Feel Lonely and Unhappy?

If you see silence as uncomfortable, you’re only looking at it from the perspective of how the narcissist has made you feel over all this time.

Now it’s you who gets to use silence how you want.

And If It Works? Great!

And If It Works Great

Initially, this new dynamic will unnerve the narcissist. They won’t know what to do on the occasions they’re used to you reacting, only to have you now remain silent, or even leave the room.

Narcissists are even known to continue to try to goad and provoke you; anything to get you to snap or cry so they can blame you.

Your silence will knock them sideways, no matter how you view it. They seem to only be prepared for all the ways you’ve responded before your new silent art, so they will be somewhat surprised at any new attempt you try at beating them. 

Take it From Me

Narcissists aren’t worth your energy

Your silence is going to starve the narcissist. Any way you’ve previously given up your energy to them as supply will be no more when you begin to see noise as detrimental to your mental and emotional health.

Narcissists aren’t worth your energy – not even an ounce of it.

Rising above them and starving them of what they want from you is how you come out on top.

Related Articles