Why Narcissists Think You Will Never Leave Them

When a narcissist seeks you out, they’re not seeking you out in a traditional manner. 

They’re not looking at all the memories they want to create with you and all the ways they will never hurt you or allow harm to come between you.

They’re looking for why they think you will never leave them.

As they look for those reasons, they create even more.

You won’t realize it at the time, but from the moment you meet a narcissist, you’re their next target. They accompany your thoughts about how nice they are, proving they’re nice.

But it’s an act.

Knowing that can release you.

That Magical Meet…

I get regular emails and messages from people who have been on the unfortunate end of narcissistic abuse.

I hear your stories, and I feel your pain. Every single one of you who has reached out with your experiences have one thing in common:

Meeting them felt so magical.

Meeting them made you feel like you were the only two people on the planet.

There is intent behind this. Those feelings aren’t random. The narcissist planted them with that intent to keep you growing into their light…

…Dimming your own in the process. 

You are in a golden hue of heavenly light in their presence, and all the stars feel aligned. You feel seen, heard and valued. You’re told they’ve never felt like this before.

You’re promised that you’re the answer to their problems. The perfect person. 

How Quickly It Happens

This speed isn’t normal, nor is it healthy. In fact, I’d go as far as saying that all the things they tell you about how you make them feel are designed to make you feel the same about them.

Narcissists need that speed. If they lose it, they lose momentum. That momentum is specifically activated to keep you swept off your feet, so you don’t really have time to think.

From the start, you’re being gaslighted. You’re being manipulated. They don’t want you to see the reality of that, so instead they shower you with love and affection to hide their true intentions. 

Any relationship that goes from zero to one hundred immediately is a huge red flag. 

And You? 

If you aren’t used to attention or affection, you’re going to find both of those things very new, and very nice. 

Of course, it’s wonderful to be paid a compliment. It’s lovely to hear that you are loved and wanted. I’d go as far as saying how incredible it is to hear how much joy and happiness you bring to another person.

“You’re Lucky to Have Me”

Oh, yes. Don’t they love to blow their own trumpet? 

When you hear a narcissist tell you how lucky you are to have them, it’s time to think about what that really means.

They’re telling you how much value they place upon themselves. This means they’re also placing value on all the terrible ways they treat you, making you think all that abuse is actually okay. 

It’s not.

To be told you’re lucky to be in any kind of abusive situation is completely destructive to the mind and heart. You’re left with the normalization of everything you experience through this particular relationship with the narcissist.

Above all else – it’s a downright lie.

“You Need Me”

A narcissist will assume you’re always going to stay as long as they treat you like you will always need you.

The most devious acts come from this belief.

You could be stripped of your finances, solely relying on them. They might even ask that you leave your job to ‘take care of the home.’ This is purely designed to keep you from earning and to be dependent on them.

They will disillusion you by chipping away at your confidence. Being left to feel as though you aren’t good enough for practically anything, you will believe them. 

And guess what? If you don’t feel good enough for anything, you won’t do anything.

Imagine being on your own at that point? What could be worse?

As far as the narcissist is concerned, it’s far better to stick with them than try and forge your own path.

“Nobody Else Will Want You”

Isn’t this the most soul-destroying thing to hear from somebody you thought loved you? Maybe you got to a point where these kinds of comments were fairly normal, and you assumed it was all part of a relationship.

I’m here to tell you that it’s not.

I mean – it’s really not.

You shouldn’t be hearing those words, and you definitely shouldn’t be believing them. 

Narcissists will throw this unkind work of fiction your way when they want you to feel at their mercy. This is strong manipulative mind games – and it always makes the person on the receiving end believe them!

Incredibly, narcissists can get you to the point where you really do think nobody else will want you. That you’re so unlovable, you’re stuck with them forever. 

It’s not true!

But yes – it’ll strengthen the chances of you staying with the narcissist – that’s for sure.

“You’ll Never Love Like This Again”

Love? Remind us all again exactly what part of the narcissist knows what love even is?!

Narcissists throw statements like this your way when they want you to think about love in general, and how much of it you have for them.

It’s a kind of reverse psychology that is a form of gaslighting.

You love them that much?!

Well, you’re convinced you do just by hearing this!

It doesn’t have to be true for you to believe it at this point, and that’s exactly why narcissists say it. They’re famous for being convincing, and all the while you bite the bait, they will throw the lines your way. 

“Delusional? Me?”

Never tell a narcissist they’re delusional – just assume silently that they all are – because they are!

You have to be completely delusional to think that somebody will always stick by your side loyally while you continue to treat them however you want. 

The strong and unchallenged narcissistic trait within all toxic people is that they feel they are deserving of everything they want – and they won’t stop until they get it all. 

If you want a fragment of truth for free – you are entitled and free to leave the narcissist whenever you want to, as long as it’s safe for you to do so. 

They don’t know that, but it’s true. 

If you are told you’ll never leave, you might find the narcissist almost laughs at the thought of you going.

One day, you will if you haven’t already. 

And you will prove every part of them wrong.