Age does not soften the narcissist. Normal folk like you or I grow into wisdom, but narcissists grow into resentment and further entitlement.
They become weaker in their age and mobility, but stronger in their bitterness.
Small ways you hurt them turn into huge grudges, and health and age are played like cards in a poker game.
Losing the battle with time often leads narcissists to get worse after sixty, and here’s why.
#1 When image equates to age
Narcissists love being young and carefree. They also love the physicality of youth, and how good it feels to be spritely and quick on their feet.
Then there’s the skincare routine, the hair, the outfits, and the societal acceptance of younger generations before they ultimately start to feel overlooked.
Image is everything, and they love to play on that. They want to always look their best, and act as if they are the best, most attractive person on the planet.
Image is all about age, and the older a narcissist gets, the more difficult it becomes for them to accept that certain parts of their physical image is going to change.
Moreso, narcissists bow out of the workplace in older age, retiring and needing to fill their days with hobbies rather than paid work where they get to delegate and mix with their peers.
If they aren’t bossing a team of people about ,they quickly turn to who is at home, and that control can really ramp up.
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#2 Knowing what’s coming
It’s a fact of life, right? I know it can be tricky to look out onto the horizon and see, but most of us just get on and live our lives day by day.
Thinking about tomorrow can catch us all off guard at times, but essentially we are all in the same boat anyway.
We are all aging, and many would consider it a privilege in a world where so many die young to be able to reach certain milestones.
Narcissists? Not so much. They know what’s coming, and they view life as a series of peaks and troughs, with most peaks occurring in their youth.
They know they will slow down. They know they will ache in places that didn’t ache the previous year, and that doesn’t stop them from dreading what’s up ahead.
Who do they take that out on? You. Your kids. Your grandkids. Suddenly it’s your combined faults that they’re getting older, and you should feel somehow bad for it.
#3 Age and health: the big one
With ageing can come more complex health problems that narcissists struggle to admit to having.
They want to stay young, so push away problems that are cropping up in their bodies, or even minds.
And then there are the narcissists who play on all of that.
Oh, my back has popped!
I don’t feel well at all, my memory is fading.
I need more help now more than ever.
I need you to cancel your plans to come and help me. My body isn’t what it used to be.
The pity party is thrown, even though they can manage. They don’t want to.
They love to know that there are people rallying around after them, and yes, that can include you.
Suddenly, your life changes all because they are playing on an issue that is mild, but that age can add weight to.
And if you don’t help? You’re a terrible person.
#4 The way your world has to stop
When the narcissist ages, your responsibilities concerning them will grow.
It won’t be because you necessarily want them to, but I will say expect more phone calls, more texts, more requests that ultimately turn into demands.
Your world won’t stop because they genuinely need you to be around more, but it will become apparent that they ask more of you, and in turn will make you feel guilty for not doing enough for them.
Your world will stop. The calls can come in the middle of the night, and you won’t be able to make the kinds of plans you’d hope to, because you are always awaiting the next time.
They know what they’re doing, and there will be untold excuses as to why they’re leaning more and more on you. It will be because they love to claim helplessness, but really, it’s a test to see how loyal you are to them.
Even after all this time, you are expected to fulfill impossible roles.
#5 The burden of the ageing narcissist
I hate to use the phrase burden. It implies those who age all fit into that bracket, but they don’t.
It can be an honor to care for those you love and who have cared for you in older age.
Narcissists aren’t included in this. They are a burden on you. They’ve spent your whole life ensuring you are kept small and irrelevant.
They’ve abused you, put the fear of God into you, and ripped away all your confidence.
Instead of apologizing and admitting fault, narcissists get to sixty and decide to control you even more, putting more and more pressure on you to be there for them, at a cost to you and your own life.
You’ve already given up so much for them, and now, you’re expected to give up even more.
Narcissists, no matter their age, want the world to revolve around them. Using age as an excuse to continue that is cruel on those who have to drop everything to be there for them.
#6 Narcissists over 60 love to claw control
Control will become more fragmented as the narcissist ages, so it comes as no surprise that a narcissist over sixty needs to find ways to control you, and the dynamics, even more than before.
When you’re younger, you’re more impressionable. You take advice for what it is, without having the capacity to fully question it, or know for sure what it is you want.
Control therefore, it is much easier to maintain as a narcissist. They get to push their own spin on everything and everybody they know, and the older everybody gets, that’s where things get interesting.
You become a person who wants more. The narcissist is still a narcissist, and their need for control still exists.
Only they have more of a fight on their hands as you become more of who you are.
If they’re your spouse and getting older, then the age of the narcissist will be bitter and resentful, with you having to hear every single day how many regrets they have, and how they wish you had allowed them more freedom in life.
They reflect with guilt and shame, and it will be you who ultimately suffers.
#7 Worse than ever
I’m afraid to say that yes, it is worse than ever as the narcissist reaches over the age of sixty.
With each passing year, they become more impossible to know and be around, and that’s down to the fact that they can’t handle getting older.
Narcissists always think they have more time, but in reality, they aren’t the immortal people they always thought they were.
