Why Narcissists Can’t Handle Being Bored

Boredom can sometimes be fun, can’t it? The idea that you have the time to do anything you want is kind of exciting.

Well, to you or I at least.

Nothing happens in boredom. It’s up to the individual to decide how to get out of it.

Do you go for a walk? Do you decide to take a day trip somewhere new? Do you call a friend and catch up? Do you watch a movie you’ve never seen?

It’s all possible!

Narcissists can’t handle it. The idea of doing nothing, being nowhere, or talking to nobody is like water to their fire.

Their struggle with downtime is hilarious – and there are some really interesting reasons why they lack the ability to handle being bored.

I’m going to uncover them for you – one by one!

The Narcissist’s Battle Against Boredom

Oh, it really is a battle. Boredom is a battle every single narcissist on the planet faces, and it’s really interesting to see.

I once read about a person who recently became a mom. She went back to work by the time her baby was just 4 weeks old. She had the choice to stay at home for a year, but she quickly became bored, stating:

When you’re pregnant, it’s all about you. When you have the baby, it becomes all about the baby. I got bored, so I went back to work.

It always stayed with me. Number one, how can you treat any child like a magnet for attention, then dismiss them so easily as soon as they get more attention than you?

Number two, is there any time to be bored when you have a newborn? Babies automatically have stringent, uncompromisable timetables. 

See also  What is Malignant Narcissism? 9 Signs To Spot The Malignant Narcissist

Number three – just so many more issues I won’t go into right now!

It is brutal for narcissists to be so bored. The battle quickly becomes too much, so instead, they do the unimaginable. 

Craving Chaos

Do you think it’s normal to crave chaos? Personally, you don’t have to ask me – I think it’s totally abnormal to want some drama going on just to prevent boredom.

I don’t think drama is the cure, boredom is the cause. Drama should be avoided at all costs, and I get it, sometimes you can’t do that. 

But…

That doesn’t mean you should go chasing it.

If I was bored, I’d read a book, or arrange a day out with my family. I’d maybe bake, or walk the dog. 

But, well, I’m not a narcissist.

Craving chaos means your boredom will be cured by causing somebody else pain, suffering or stress. 

I mean… Who in their right minds….?

The Nitty Gritty – What’s Really Going On?

I almost feel like apologizing at this point, but I’ve got to be honest with you.

There are some terrible reasons why narcissists can’t handle boredom. I’d be doing you a total disservice if I failed to mention them.

  • Narcissists hate their own company. The person I read about above, who had to go back to work? She had no supply at home. The baby isn’t going to tell her how amazing she is. It’s also not going to be aware of any silent treatment the narcissist is capable of. What use is it? All the narcissist has is her own company. 

It’s their worst nightmare. They hate themselves! Imagine spending all day with somebody you hate?

  • They get bored with their latest ‘supply’ because they aren’t deemed as people. That’s right – the narcissist will absolutely not view their current supply as a person. That goes for any supply. 
See also  When The Narcissist Is Stonewalling You

You aren’t people, you’re commodities. 

You give them something they need, and they take it. It’s how they can hop from one person to the next so easily.

  • Nobody is giving them any attention. Oh, this is probably the saddest one of all. I mean, we are talking about grown adults here. If a narcissist isn’t getting any attention, they will do what it takes to change that. This feeling is often found in the center of their boredom. 

Nothing is happening.

I can’t bounce off any drama.

Things are dull.

Nobody is relieving that.

People have lives outside their relationships with narcissists, and sometimes that involves leaving them to their own devices. 

Tough for them, right?

How Narcissists Escape Boredom

Now, without wanting to alarm you, the narcissist has already mentally planned for their escape from narcissism. Here’s what you’ll usually find them doing to get out of this monotonous torture.

Creating Drama

There is always a narcissist near when drama is being hatched. They’re never far away from the scene of the crime.

Of course, they will never admit to being a part of it (how dare you even accuse them?!)…

Drama and narcissists go together like eggs and bacon. They often create it where there is none, just so they can sit back and watch it all unfold. 

Big News!

Look at me and my big news!

I’m going to skydive for charity!

I’m going to climb a mountain!

I’ve decided to move/travel/buy an expensive car!

Wonderful, let’s all give you a slow clap. You’ve evaded boredom by telling us news that we’re now expected to stop everything to congratulate you for. 

See also  Why Do Narcissists Act Like They Don't Care?

If we don’t, we will get the silent treatment.

(Actually, that sounds quite nice…)

“Who Can I Steal Supply From?”

Narcissists will hunt for supply when they’re bored, like they’re on a treasure hunt. 

Will this person tell me how wonderful I am?

If I give this person the silent treatment, they’ll chase me and I’ll feel important again. 

It’s all very boring, but just as it is boring, it’s predictable. 

Gossip

Who can I talk about that will spark a huge fire of talk and attention?

The narcissist loves gossip. They do it in a way that seems to come from a place of cre or concern, of course. Anything else would appear heartless, and they don’t want to portray that. 

The idea of gossip is to get people to hover around them, like bees to honey. 

Or flies to… 

Working – Then Complaining About Working

I’ve got to work – no rest for the wicked.

Nobody else is going to pay these darn bills!

I have a family to support – they can’t support themselves.

They need me!

None of this is true, but narcissists will escape boredom by overworking and then complaining that they’re overworked.

I know what you want to say: 

Make it make sense!

I can’t make something so impossibly frustrating make sense, but I can tell you that narcissists live and breathe in the same way…

all of them. 

Related Articles