Why does it seem the narcissist always wins?

As frustrating as it is, you’ve probably noticed that the narcissist often seems to come out on top.

It doesn’t matter what the situation is, but the narcissist is always winning. Whether it’s getting a promotion at work, having the upper hand in an argument, or ending up with the best house in town, the narcissist is sure to outdo everyone else.

You’re probably wondering how the narcissist gets away with winning all the time, especially when they are so rotten to the core. 

The truth is that narcissists have several traits that make them likely to come out on top, even when they are the last person who deserves to win.

Ten reasons it seems the narcissist always wins

Narcissists often appear to come out on top in various situations, whether in personal relationships, the workplace, or social settings. This can be baffling and frustrating for those who have to deal with them. 

Narcissists really don’t like to lose, and they are usually quite skilled at avoiding it. 

Why does the narcissist always seem to win? We’ll explore ten reasons for this below. 

Good first impressions

Narcissists know how to use charisma to their advantage, especially when first meeting new people. They will charm the socks off of everyone they meet to make a good first impression.

This helps the narcissist to gain favor and trust from others quickly. Their charming facade masks the narcissist’s true nature, making it difficult for others to see who they really are. 

When the narcissist makes a good first impression, they’re more likely to win others over. 

Lack of empathy

Because narcissists lack empathy, they have little to no care for the needs of others. This means they can emotionally detach from other people, allowing them to pursue their own goals ruthlessly.

See also  What Happens When The Narcissist Knows You Have Figured Them Out?

A non-narcissist would likely feel guilty about taking advantage of others, but a non-narcissist is more than willing to exploit others for personal gain.

This allows the narcissist to get ahead, with no concern for the people they’ve burned in the process. 


Narcissists may feel inferior, but these are buried beneath an outward air of confidence and assertiveness. Since narcissists appear outwardly confident, they can look like competent leaders.

When they exude confidence, narcissists can convince others to follow them and give them the benefit of the doubt, even when their own behavior is problematic. This leaves the narcissist with a large network of supporters, ready to help the narcissist get ahead in life.

Manipulative behavior

When a narcissist always seems to win, you can be pretty sure they’re manipulating others to get their way. Narcissists are skilled at using tactics like gaslighting, projection, and blame-shifting to confuse and control others.

When narcissists control others through manipulative tactics, they maintain the upper hand in social interactions. This allows them to get ahead, often by using others to their own advantage. 

Transactional relationships

Relationships with a narcissist are often transactional in nature. These means narcissists seek out people they believe will provide them with resources and enhance their social standing.

Their focus on transactional relationships means the narcissist’s social network is full of people who are of use to the narcissist. Having so many people available to help them allows the narcissist to win at just about anything.

When the narcissist needs something, they can simply turn to someone in their support network. They might ask for money, a favor, or public endorsement to give themselves an advantage. 

See also  What Do Narcissists Fear the Most?

Exploitation of others’ weaknesses

Narcissists are adept at identifying weaknesses in other people and using them to their advantage. They will quickly learn what makes other people tick, and they will exploit these weaknesses to get what they want. 

For instance, if a narcissist knows that you tend to be anxious, they will ask a favor of you at a time when your anxiety appears to be highest. Knowing you’re vulnerable, they are pretty confident you’ll give in to whatever they want. 

Exploitation of others’ vulnerabilities allows the narcissist to maintain dominance, which gives them an advantage in social interactions. Ultimately, this is another factor that allows them to win.

Relentless pursuit of self-interest

Narcissists are known for going after what they want, and they will persevere until the end. They simply are not deterred by setbacks or obstacles, because they truly believe they are deserving of special treatment.

Since they are so perseverent, narcissists can achieve most of their goals. It doesn’t hurt that they’re also willing to exploit others. 

Playing the victim card

Even when they’re in the wrong, narcissists manage to win, often because they can very quickly adopt the victim mentality when confronted. 

They will portray themselves as being wronged to gain support from others. This will earn them sympathy and deflect attention away from their own bad behavior.

Ultimately, this makes it difficult for others to hold the narcissist accountable, and the narcissist wins, even if they deserve to lose. 

Ability to undermine others

In competition with others, narcissists will do anything they can to undermine people who might defeat them. They are not above using unethical means, like cheating, to undermine competition.

See also  Do Narcissists Know They're Hurting You?

This can involve spreading rumors, sabotaging others’ efforts, or discrediting other people’s abilities or accomplishments to get ahead. This willingness to undermine others allows the narcissist to gain a competitive edge, especially when others play by the rules. 

And, since they’re so charming and manipulative, narcissists can usually get away with behaving unethically to win. 

Ability to adapt

Narcissists can be quite resourceful, which would be a positive trait if they used it for good. Instead, narcissists tend to use their resourcefulness to undermine others.

Because they are so resourceful and adaptable, narcissists can quickly change their tactics to suit their needs. If one method of manipulation isn’t working, the narcissist surely has something else they can pull out of their toolbox.

This flexibility often allows the narcissist to outmaneuver those around them. 

Conclusion: The narcissist will keep winning

Narcissists have a keen ability to win at anything. This can include winning a competition or argument or simply convincing others that they’re right and you’re wrong. 

This ability comes from charm, manipulation, confidence, and ruthless self-interest. The bottom line is that the narcissist’s tactics can be harmful and unfair, so it can be next to impossible to outdo them.

The good news is that understanding the behaviors that help a narcissist come out on top can help you recognize the narcissist’s key strategies and manipulation tactics. With greater understanding, you’re better prepared to protect yourself. 

The best thing you can do is to avoid entering into a competition with a narcissist. If you must engage with them, set clear boundaries and seek support from others who know your true colors. 

You’ll always win, because you aren’t a manipulative jerk. 

Related Articles