Why Do People Believe The Narcissist and Not Their Victims?

The shocking truth behind why narcissists are believed over their victims might leave you speechless.

If it’s ever happened to you, it can be the most invalidating experience. Seeing everybody side with them instead of you – the innocent party – there are sometimes no words.

This purely boils down to calculated deceit, and the masters of manipulators are the ones responsible!

Narcissists tricks run deep and destructive. They stop at nothing to hurt you.

Prepare to uncover the truth!

You Against The Narcissist: Unraveling Their Spell

The charm of the narcissist is sickening. 

Sadly, this charm is neither new nor exclusive for you. The fact that I have so many people come to me for advice means you are in fact, the tip of the victim iceberg.

Before it gets sickening though , it’s the most magnetic force. Charm is flattering and fancy. It makes the most confident person coy, and it works every time. 

You should know, because it likely worked for you in the past.

Now you’ve had the time to see the real person behind all the facade, your world is likely to be left spinning. 

You fell for the charm. You saw all the ways they were wonderful to you, giving you love and affection. You enjoyed the attention, and it made you feel loved, valued and wanted. 

You soaked up every smile, laugh and embrace, and now you’re here. 

Understanding the truth, and living in the dust after the reality bomb went off. 

Now what?

Now you see the narcissist charming the pants off everybody you know.

Everybody. 

They laugh and share the same jokes with them. They share stories and exchange secrets.

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The time has come where you need to say something. 

Everybody needs to know, right? This person cannot be trusted as far as they can be thrown! 

The injustice of seeing them seemingly getting away with treating you in such a toxic way is too much, and you want to tell people. 

Only… There’s a catch. 

Why it Will Only Go One Way

I hate to say it, but you’re not as convincing as the narcissist. In fact, you’re not as charming, and you’re not as encapsulating.

If you’re going to go to anybody and tell them your troubles, you’d better have it backed up by evidence. Even with the evidence, you’re going to be looked at as though you’re crazy. 

Other people will take one look at you and assume you’ve got some kind of personal vendetta against the poor, innocent narcissist.

It’s only going to go one way only. Remember- this is your first encounter with a narcissist.

This is their hundredth encounter with somebody like you. 

When Charm Trumps Truth

Charm is never something to be underrated. Narcissists use it as one of their main tools, because it simply always works. Charm will enable them to lie and lie, and never be caught. Charm will get them the good seat at the restaurant. 

Charm will allow the narcissist to make you look like the bad person, even though you’re completely innocent. 

People can be blindsided by charm due to the energy that comes from it. When you are being charmed, you aren’t focusing on anything else at the time. People liken this to being hypnotized, and that in itself brings you only to that specific thing you are hearing and seeing. 

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Why the Victim’s Voice Goes Unheard

The simple answer is:

Because the narcissist’s voice is louder. 

Your voice isn’t trained to speak louder than the narcissists, and that’s why they are deemed to be ‘all talk.’ 

The victim’s (maybe your) voice isn’t listened to because other people have already been warned that you will speak. They will be aware that whatever you have to say will be lies and that nobody will listen or pay attention.

You’ve been told you don’t matter by many people, and you become unheard and unseen.

This rings many familiarities of what it was like to be in the relationship with the narcissist in the first place. 

The Seduction of Deception

Charm is very seductive, isn’t it? Seeing someone you haven’t seen for months suddenly approach you and tell you how fantastic you look, or how young you look. 

Wow! Thank you!

Then… Boom.

So, I guess you heard about (enter your name here)? Well, let me tell you All is not as it seems with that one. 

Cue the lies. Cue the exaggerations. Cue everything they did and said to you being flipped on you being the guilty party. 

Then cue the shocked faces of those who didn’t have you down as a liar or manipulator. 

They Won’t Hesitate to Smear!

Of course, this is exactly how smear campaigns start. The idea that the narcissist purposely sets out to ruin your name and expose you as the person who has caused so many problems. 

And yes, people will believe them because they are very convincing under this light of revenge. 

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The want and need to punish you means the narcissist will go all out to ensure their plan is hatched with success.

The more you fight back, the worse it will get. 

Remember:

Narcissists are looking for somebody to blame for their own actions. They have to be seen as the innocent party, and will make sure you are the one people know as the troublemaker.

Overcoming it and Standing in Your Truth

This is the part that takes great strength:

You don’t always have to prove your point to be right.

The narcissist will have spent a great deal of time stealing your reality in the past. What was once yours was replaced with confusion and a potential loss of identity. 

What comes next is more confusion as you try to come to terms with not being heard. Their toxic manners spready from just them, to other people too. Suddenly, you wonder if you’ll ever be heard again.

This need to be heard and believed must be quashed by your pride and desire to move on without needing the last word. 

Narcissists want you to protest your innocence and vocalize your desperate need for someone to understand you.

That’s when they turn to other people, point a finger at you and say, “See? I told you they were crazy.”

Break that cycle of frustration by silently moving on. Continue to be the best version of you that’s possible, and aim to prove everybody wrong through action and kindness in your own life, rather than words of begging and pleading. 

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