Why Do Narcissists Twist The Truth?

They open their mouths, and out falls the most baffling lies and distorted stories. You want to correct them, but you’re also mesmerized about where this is all going.

It’s like listening to a mythical tale. You’re just waiting for the sword and the dragon to come into it.

Well, that may not be far from what actually happens when narcissists take the truth, and twist it. As they twist it, they twist it to suit them.

What can they gain from their version, and why do so many people fall for it?

Well, there’s an agenda, let me tell you.

What you recall is what happened. What they recall is what they’ve told themselves.

They don’t care about the truth. They just care about one thing.

Read on to find out exactly what that is…

The Whole Truth…

Narcissists are aware that the truth isn’t all as it seems. To them, any truth they need to convey will be how they feel like conveying it. You don’t need to know what’s going on in their mind, or their motive for twisting it.

You just have to accept what they’re saying. 

Many people are known to say there are two sides to the narcissist’s story:

Their version – and the truth. 

If you’re hearing them tell you something, you should be acutely aware that they are only giving you information they want you to hear.

It might be that only 10% of what’s coming out of their mouth holds any truth in it.

Narcissists and Their Value of the Truth

Narcissists love to value what they say, and they expect the same from you. They’ve taken the time to produce a story, the least you can do is assume for it to be all true.

  • Narcissists are the most important person in the world, and everything should revolve around them.
  • Their egos are unmatched – they’re truly in another league from everybody. Only because they’ve put themselves there…
  • They have a warped sense of reality. They see things how they want to see them – not how they actually are.

Understanding What Suits Them 

Let’s get one thing straight about the truth.

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If it doesn’t fit the narrative the narcissist is trying to convey – they will twist it.

They will bend it.

They won’t break it, but they will come close. 

You have to appreciate that narcissists work to double standards at all times. If they have done something wrong, they’ll never admit to it. If you’ve done something wrong – they won’t drop it.

They will push and push you further into the guilt and shame you should feel for the terrible thing you did. 

How dare you?

If it were them? Well, they’d twist the truth until they  were released from it all. 

What is it About Narcissists and Twisting the Truth?!

Narcissists will twist the truth for two main reasons. These reasons spider off and offer more insight, the more you dig.

So… let’s get digging!

#1 Twisting it To Suit Their Actions

If a narcissist is twisting the truth, it’s because they want the truth to suit whatever action they’ve taken. 

It Meant Nothing

This is the classic way a narcissist downplays something that has hurt you – perhaps even a lot. It might look like being seen in a romantic predicament with another person in a bar or out in public. You can even get a gut feeling that the narcissist is seeing somebody in their workplace as they start to work later and later. They will deny it, of course. 

No! You’ve got it all wrong! I was just helping them get settled into the job, and going through training with them.

Oh my God no, they’re not my type at all. I was just being friendly.

Nothing happened. It was just a meaningless kiss because I had too much to drink. You’re making a big deal out of nothing. 

Are you, though? If it was important to you, it should be important to them too. To downplay it would be to completely side-step any responsibility. 

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It Wasn’t a Big Deal

Why are you making such a big deal of this? You’re so dramatic! I don’t know how I put up with you!

You really need to get out more – you’re making a mountain out of a molehill. 

No – nothing is ever a big deal to the narcissist as long as it means they can worm their way out of the truth.

Imagine if the tables were turned – the rage would be untold!

You’re Crazy!

Ladies and gentlemen, this gaslighting at its finest. You will see this frequently when a narcissist twists the truth because they will flip it to look like they are the innocent party.

And you’re the one who is thinking up all these mad stories, assuming them to be true. 

You Always Have to Be Right

This is another reminder to get straight back into your place. You always have to be right. You have to have the last words.

They accuse you of wanting to get in and prove that you are high and mighty, but this is just a way of deflecting from what’s really going on. 

The truth is twisted and out pours the juice of denial. They don’t want your blame for what they did, they just want you to feel bad for even suggesting it. 

#2 Twisting it to Invalidate Your Actions

If the shoe were on the other foot – it can look like:

You told me you weren’t going to be long.

Well, that wasn’t what you said, and you know it. The narcissist will be certain to keep the blame on you though, to make them look the victim and saddened by your apparent lack of communication. 

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I thought you said you weren’t really friends with them anymore.

If a narcissist doesn’t like somebody you hang out with, they can make you feel as though you don’t like it either. This is done by encouraging you to think like they do. Even though you may have only had a passing grumble about that person – it’ll be enough for the narcissist to twist the truth and triangulate you. 

The truth is – you’re too good for that job. You should leave like you said you were going to.

Again – this is a ploy to get you to think like them. It’s so manipulative because it shows you exactly what they want from you and how they want to get it. If they don’t like you working where you work, they will convince you that you have a problem with it too. 

Even if you don’t!

Beware of all these sly behaviors set out to change and control you fundamentally. 

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