You didn’t think they could get any creepier, did you? You thought the strangeness and total weirdness of the narcissist started and stopped all the while you are awake – but you’ve been mistaken.
I’m here to tell you…
They stare at you while you sleep!
I know. Don’t run for the hill yet, at least not before I explain exactly what’s going on here.
It’s going to blow your mind, but it might just be the reason why you can never fully settle when you’re lying next to them at night.
You’re Brave!
I want to get the jokes out of the way before I get serious!
But yeah, you’re totally brave sleeping next to a narcissist. I try not to go near one at all, yet somehow I am fascinated by the personality traits they possess.
They fascinate me because I see the destruction they cause in other people, and those are the people I want to help.
Whether that’s a client who walks through my door, or you out there, reading this.
There are people literally scattered across the world who are reading this sipping their morning latte who have just woken from a night sleeping next to a narcissist.
I’m here for you, and that’s the whole point in me telling you how brave you are. I say it jestfully, but there’s a big part of me that actually means it.
Wanting to Just Rest: Impossible
Is any kind of peace available when you’re around the company of a narcissist?
Being awake with them is bad enough. You work from home, or you have a day off.
Maybe you’re not well, or you’re doing some hobby work in your spare time. What about deciding to go for a walk, or to the grocery store?
None of it is right. You’re too loud, you’re too lazy, you’re too quiet, you’re too annoying, you’re making too much of a mess, you’re gone too long, you didn’t get the right milk.
You just want to stare up at the sky and let out a moderate to loud scream.
At least when the time comes for you to get some shut eye, you’ll be able to go upstairs and…
Nope.
What Happens When You Sleep?
As far as you’re concerned, you’re falling into a nice, pleasant sleep.
What happens when you’re there, in the land of marshmallows and fluffy clouds?
The narcissist appears. They could sit for hours just staring at you.
And I am making it sound like a Hollywood movie where two people fall in love and they don’t want to fall asleep in case they miss something (cue the Aerosmith classic).
But no. Hold back on that guitar solo, because this is not that.
We don’t need you right now, Steven Tyler!
This is something very different.
The staring is like nothing you’ve ever known before, and I am about to tell you exactly what it’s all about.
Staring
It’s intense – the way narcissists love to live.
They don’t sigh and smile and watch your beautiful face drift off and sleep peacefully.
Instead, they’re using the moment to their advantage.
You don’t know they’re there. You have no idea just how much their eyes are burning into you as you fall deeper and deeper.
Not starting to sound like Aerosmith, is it?
It’s the chance they get to fully clock you without you noticing, so they’re going to make the most of it.
Plotting
The most worrying thing I think I could probably offer you at this stage is the darkened reason that the narcissist is plotting.
When they see you lying there, obviously catching your much needed sleep, it’s prime time for them to think about what move they’re going to make next.
What damage can they cause? What plans do they have to get to you next? What are they thinking while you’re innocently and subconsciously assuming they’re sleeping, too.
When narcissists plot, they plot to the detail. It’s devastating, really, because it’s the only time they really get to use your own peace against you.
The few hours of the night where you let your guard down, and are at the mercy of nature, the narcissist yet again takes advantage.
Wanting You to Wake and Catch Them
There’s a small part of the narcissist’s game plan that wants to see you wake and catch them watching you.
If I can be even more direct – they want to romanticize staring at you, so you really think you’re just too good to sleep next to.
Have you ever seen it in the movies? One person sleeping beautifully on one side of the bed, while somebody just cannot believe their luck in finding them, and wanting to just gaze in awe?
Yeah.
This is not that.
But that’s precisely what the narcissist wants you to think it is.
It’s beyond creepy to me to think that a narcissist thinks this way. They may even make a noise to stir you into looking so they can smile and say, “I just couldn’t help it. You sleep so peacefully and you’re gorgeous.”
Bingo. They make it seem as though you’re the only person they want to spend the rest of their lives with.
But don’t. Don’t believe it.
Listening Out For Bad Dreams
Are you the kind of person who falls victim to the odd nightmare?
Guess who is going to find out way before you’re consciously aware of it – the narcissist.
Watching you sleep, listening out for the little whimpers of fear, seeing you toss and turn.
They relish in seeing the fear in you, even when you’re asleep. And you know, it doesn’t get much better when you wake from it, either. The only difference is you’re actually living the nightmare in real life –
The nightmare of living with the narcissist!
Wondering Deep Down: When Will They Figure Me Out?
It’s always a worry for them.
When will you figure out the truth?
What will be the moment that light bulb within your mind goes on?
When will you start to retreat?
When will you finally start putting yourself first?
The questions after that are even more worrying.
How can I make it so that they really don’t want to leave?
What else can I do to erode that identity?
Who can I make them fall out with next?
Where can I start to place even more doubt in their minds that they’re a strong, capable person?
They don’t want you to figure them out, but it truly is as if watching you is going to give them all the answers they need.
Remember – they love it when you’re silent!
