Now, if you’re assuming I mean something fun like a card game, or a board game, I need to readjust your expectations for this one!
Think more along the lines of Snakes and Ladders – without the ladders.
Yes, narcissists are snakes, and they will find you and make your life completely miserable.
They love to play games – but, (spoiler), there’s only ever one winner – them.
Question though…
Are narcissists ever really winners?
I don’t think so.
Let’s look at why they love these games so much.
Get Ready to Roll The Dice
I don’t think any games the narcissist plays are going to be the kind of games you like.
Games bring people together, but the games of the narcissist only work when they are pushing people away from each other.
The dice is ready to roll, and you won’t even be asked to partake. The narcissist will roll you in on your behalf, and like Jumanji itself, you’ll have to trounce through the madness before you’re free.
How the Narcissist TROLLS The Dice
Narcissists do more than roll the dice to start their games; they also troll it.
They control where you land, and how your game plays out. This is because the narcissist creates the rules to the games you play.
Beyond that – they actively change the rules as you go along, leaving you totally unaware of what you’re even doing.
Taking Full Advantage
In the eyes of the narcissist – the aim of changing the rules or moving the goalposts is to confuse and control you. They want to see you wondering what happens next, and what mood you’ll be in when you both get there.
Narcissists take advantage of the fact that you are at their complete mercy. They have you right where they want you.
What does that mean for you?
It means you have two options:
You stay and tolerate it, or you leave.
Playing Games: Why?
#1 They Don’t See People as People
If you can imagine looking at the world through the eyes of the narcissist, you wouldn’t see people at all.
Instead, you’d see little tiny chess pieces. A friend becomes a pawn. A relative becomes a bishop. A boss becomes a knight.
So on, and on.
Life is one big game, and the people in their life are moved around in accordance with what they want that particular day, and where they want those people to be situated.
It’s a very weird concept to me to think of people as pieces in a game that only results in one winner: the narcissist. It proves that there are no real feelings there at all, and the worst part of it all is that they don’t see a problem with what they do.
In fact, if you raise a problem with how they treat people, you become the problem!
#2 They Want to Win
Games aren’t just played because the narcissist loves to play in general.
This isn’t a nice, warm edition of Monopoly around the table at Christmas, complete with drinks and nibbles.
This is real.
The moment you have children and they start to learn how to play any kind of game – you’ll see them have a strop if they lose. They’re learning how to regulate their emotions, and getting used to that feeling of, ‘It wasn’t mine to win this time.’
Narcissists never grow out of that stroppiness. In fact, the older they get, the worse the strop.
There’s something mildly amusing about seeing a narcissist not get their own way.
That being said, when it comes to games, they have to be in control. They like this and that to be so so their lives can benefit the most from it all.
If that’s not happening, there will be hell to pay.
#3 They Enjoy Watching People React
If there’s one thing narcissists love, it’s watching people react to their games.
It seems sick, doesn’t it? Making sure somebody feels and acts totally confused or hurt, only to actually enjoy what they see? Why would anybody do that?
In short, it’s because they don’t consider anybody’s feelings aside from their own. Narcissists are clued up on what they’re doing to others, but they live by the rule of:
I can do what I like, as long as I’m not the one being hurt.
There’s just one flaw with their rule.
They’re already hurt.
They’re already suffering.
They just don’t want to admit it.
So guess what? They will watch you hurting instead, because that’s far more fun, and far easier than looking honestly in the mirror at themselves.
#4 So They Can Step Away and Be Innocent
You can be sure that a narcissist will create absolute hell with their victims, and then take a step back to observe the mess.
Hey, this has nothing to do with me! I didn’t say or do anything!
I know better than to involve myself in their business!
No. Of course not.
It didn’t quite work out that way though, did it?
Narcissists add the ingredients, stir the pot, and then walk away to watch what they made burn. They will never admit that they were at fault, and they won’t admit to being anywhere near it.
This kind of game makes it looks like there is drama and chaos in your life, but the narcissist is the one least suspected to be at fault.
It doesn’t sound fair, does it? It’s a classic tactic used to divide people the narcissist knows, especially those who appear to be getting too close or friendly.
This simply won’t do in the world of the narcissist.
#5 So They Can Judge You
We all make mistakes, but when a narcissist plays games, they can do it to watch us make errors that are held against us.
Games like this can include things like you asking them to do something that they forget to do. Rather than hold their hands up and admitting they forget, they tell you that you didn;t actually tell them to do it. Designed to confuse you, they’ll judge you, and make jokes about your forgetfulness.
You didn’t imagine telling them – you did tell them.
These kinds of games are created to get the narcissist off the hook, and for you to take the blame.
Remember – any opportunity to make you look like the bad guy and they will be all over it.
If you did this, and flipped the script, can you imagine the kind of rage that would ensue?
It’s not even worth thinking about, is it!
