If narcissists could, they would stand atop a mountain and spend all day shouting:
It’s all about me!!
A crowd would gather, and watch them as they continued to bellow and yell, gaining attention and the audience they craved.
Scratching their heads in confusement, the crowd might ask each other, “Why do narcissists always do this? Why has it always got to be about them?”
Well, they wouldn’t be the only ones!
We all want to know too, right?
Well, narcissists are predictable, and they love to bring every little thing back to themselves!
Here’s why.
The Narcissistic Solar System
The solar system is made up of several planets including ours, over 100 moons, and countless comets hurtling through space.
Hmm… did I miss anything?
Oh yes, how silly of me!
The sun!
In fact, the solar system revolves around the sun.
So now, let’s take away the real objects of the solar system, and replace them with people.
Moons become relatives. Planets become friends. And the Narcissist?
You guessed it.
They become the sun.
Everything has to revolve around the sun – that’s just how it works. Everybody dances around its energy, and is pulled in by its power and force.
Everything becomes about the sun.
Does this sound familiar?
You? The Smallest Planet!
Is it any surprise that you are the smallest planet of all? You matter the least, and you try the hardest to keep up with everything the sun is asking of you.
The narcissist makes you the smallest, because they want all the energy of the solar system for themselves.
They deserve it. They’re owed it. They want it. They need it.
What Narcissists Can’t Live Without
Here are a few things the narcissist cannot live without.
- Attention
- Affection
- Compliments
- Praise
- Being in control
- Manipulating others
- Validation
- Superiority
- Entitlement
- Lacking in empathy
- Flying monkeys
- Avoiding criticism
When you look up at this list, you will also see every single reason why the narcissist makes everything about them.
From the conversations you try to have, they find a reason to link back to themselves…
…To being the happiest or saddest person in the room during an emotional event.
Eyes will roll, as they make themselves the most important person again.
“It’s All About Me!” – 8 Reasons Why Narcissists Have to Do It!
#1 They Need The Attention
If attention were a currency, narcissists would be sitting in their houses like Ebenezer Scrooge, counting every penny and locking it away for when they need it. Handing it to nobody else, and keeping it all for themselves, they’d treasure every penny of it.
Attention comes in so many different forms – but narcissists thrive on any.
The mistake comes from only thinking they like good attention, because they can even work negative attention round into their favor.
If you’re showering them with positive attention, they will naturally love it. It goes without saying, and is a standard form of expected rights from the narcissist.
Negative attention sounds awful. It might be that you highlight to them how moody they are, or somebody calls them out on something. The narcissist will have a game plan ready for that too. That can look like being a victim, or pointing the finger and blaming somebody else.
They need that attention too in some ways, because they love to remind people that they can be that vulnerable ‘poor me’ person.
Any excuse…
#2 To Gain Admiration
I’m going to do something really amazing, like trek a long hiking trail for charity so people think I am sooo humble and kind.
…said every single narcissist in the world.
Now hear me out. I know people do all kinds of wonderful things for charity. The difference with a narcissist is that they are going to let you know every single step of the way. Every blister, every opportunity they get to tell you how grounding the experience is. How they sacrificed so much to complete the task.
Admiration is where a narcissist feels like they’re truly home.
The love and support received by other people, even people they’ve never met, will be enough to fuel their day.
Which is why they do things.
Not because they want to raise money, or care about a situation.
But because they only care about themselves.
#3 To Pretend They’re Capable
I’ve got this. You don’t need to worry about it any more.
Here, let me help you with that. It’s clear to see you need me.
Okay. I can step in and take over. I know what I’m doing.
Of course they do!
Narcissists will see you living your life, and feel the need to make it all about them.
How they can help you.
How they can save the day.
Don’t you worry ‘bout a thing. Here they come with their cape and mask.
Oh but here’s where it gets interesting.
They do it for the love.
They do it because they care. They want the best for you. And they’re such a good person. Of course they’ve got your back even when you didn’t ask them to have it.
Because they’re more than capable.
#4 To Mask Their Insecurities
The insecurities of a narcissist run deep, but they don’t want you to know.
The narcissist will love to make everything about them, drawing attention to the fake version they present to the world.
Because the real person underneath is the total opposite. They’re the ones who hate themselves, and can’t stand the thought of being found out.
The only alternative is to correct the situation by drawing as much positive attention to themselves as they can.
#5 To Make Sure You Aren’t the Thunder Stealer
I’ll keep this one short and simple.
You have good news?
It doesn’t matter.
The narcissist will see your good news, and trump you.
You cannot steal their thunder. Thunder is attention, and attention is the air they need to survive.
#6 To Assert Their Image in Public – or Private…
Narcissists want everybody to know where the land lies (With them, in case it wasn’t clear…)
Asserting themselves comes in how they present. How they look. What they say. How loud their laugh is. What they talk about, and who they talk to.
Everything has to be about them because they need to keep up with the appearance they promised themselves to uphold.
They’re nothing without that.
#7 They Genuinely Believe They’re More Important Than Anybody Else
It’s a belief that astounds me, honestly. I know it’s all part of having a personality disorder on paper, but…
When I meet narcissistic people, I still get struck by just how much they believe they are more important than anybody else.
It’s as if everybody has to wait in line, and even when they do, the narcissist will happily cut in because they feel they deserve to be seen first.
It’s all got to be about them, and if you don’t adhere, then you obviously don’t deserve their time of day.
Remember – this alludes to their grandiose sense of self.
They see it.
Nobody else does.