You’ve just got to know somebody, and everything is perfect.

You’ve been together for a while, and despite the drama, you’re both fairly happy. 

It’s been a few months, but you think you’ve found the one.

It’s all so familiar, isn’t it?

In truth, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been with the narcissist. They will leave when they want and won’t even give you a minute’s warning. 

There are reasons though. Will they make you feel any better about being abandoned?

That’s up to you to decide.

Let’s take a look.

Just When You Thought Everything Was Okay…

A narcissist is going to show you the true version of themselves. It’s hard enough when any relationship ends, but when a narcissist decides to up and leave, it can almost feel like ghosting. 

Ghosting is not cool, nor is it ever okay. 

The only person who suffers is the one who is left behind, with no closure, wondering what they did wrong (assuming they did anything wrong at all).

True colors

Ultimately, what you see when a narcissist leaves is a huge void where their presence once stood. You wonder what to do next. You go over and over the last time you spoke, and you felt everything was normal (as normal as it can be with a narcissist, anyway). 

And now – here you are.

You’re facing their true colors, and you don’t like them at all. You want to be able to just break free from feeling so helpless, but you can’t because you are still stuck in that cycle of abuse.

You wonder if they will come back. Is this temporary? Will I ever hear from them again?

You can’t stand the uncertainty. 

Understanding How Narcissists Work

Narcissists are wired to not care about anybody.

When I say ‘anybody,’ I do mean you too. You think you’re the exception, because they chose to be with you and told you they love you.

You’re not.

And they don’t. 

I don’t want to make you feel bad, I just need to lay down the facts for you, so that you can equip yourself for any future meetings with these kinds of people.

So you can come out winning.

When a narcissist leaves so suddenly, the person on the receiving end is seldom prepared.

If they were, it wouldn’t feel so sudden.

So – what do you do?

How do you cope?

Why did they leave this way?

Leaving Suddenly – WHY?!

Laying out these reasons as to why narcissists leave so suddenly is going to open more than a few eyes – and I am pretty sure you’re going to understand the narcissist in your life so much more!

Leaving hurts the ones who are left behind, but the narcissist is never going to put your feelings before their own actions, so be prepared.

#1 You Love Them – Panic!

So, the narcissist has figured out that you love them. It runs deeply, and they know because you’re telling them and expressing yourself to them.

Oh no! Love? What do I do with this? Do they want me to love them back? I have to leave! Things are getting terribly vulnerable – I must depart without saying a word!

Now please – don’t mistake this for thinking, “Oh wow cool, that means they will return someday when they realize what love is and that they love me too.”

No! They really won’t! Please, I cannot stress this enough. Don’t wait for them to return with true love recited. 

They don’t know how to.

But they do know how to run from your love. 

You see, narcissists don’t actually feel worthy of proper love. They can’t understand why anybody would love them because they cannot stand who they really are underneath it all. 

Your love scares them. Rather than admit that (no thanks, the ego couldn’t take it!), they duck and dive out.

#2 They Found Someone Else

Before you’ve even considered the fact that somebody else may be involved, the narcissist is going to have found somebody else.

There are two parts to this.

Number one—your supply isn’t enough. They need more, and they’ve found somebody who ticks that box. You can just stay where you are and get on with York life while they go and get what they need from somebody more willing to give it. 

And guess what?

Eventually, the narcissist will do the same to them as well. 

#3 They Never Really Cared – Sorry

In truth, you were given all these promises. You were told you are perfect, and that they cannot see themselves without you. 

And now? What, none of that was true? You’re just going to leave so suddenly?

Well, in a word, yeah. It’s what they do. They’re not going to apologize for it. I mean, that would mean they actually have to talk to you. 

They can’t, they’re too busy leaving. 

#4 Silent Treatment 2.0

Leaving so suddenly can be how they entrap you with a brand new version of the silent treatment. It’s like they take the regular version, and ramp it up a few notches. What usually lasted a few days can become a few months, or more!

Until…

They decide to come back. 

Yes. Don’t forget with narcissists that; leaving suddenly’ doesn’t always have to be a permanent thing.

You just start adjusting to them not being around when – bam.

They return with no conscience. 

It’s something you might need to consider, but even more heartbreakingly for you at the time, it may never happen.

Let me tell you, if the narcissist doesn’t return – it’s not a bad thing!

#5 Their Return is Already Planned

Yes. Moving on from point 4 – the narcissist leaves knowing they are going to return. What they’re looking for is a way out for a while. They’re sick of you; they don’t want to be a part of it and want to escape.

They want to do what they want to do. It’s that simple.

And you? Well, you don’t need to know when they’re going, or when they choose to return. Why? Because it has nothing to do with you.

The narcissist will come back when they’re ready and act like nothing happened, and you’ll wonder what’s gone on.

To be honest, they do it because they have something else planned. A vacation with friends where they want to be single. A wedding of a close friend, and they want to go without having to take or worry about you somehow showing up. 

It’s all part of their gameplan, and they don’t care about who they offend as as a result of their decisions.