A popular act people notice when they are around narcissists is how precious they are when it comes to their phones.
I know we all have the right to privacy, but this is on a whole other scale.
Narcissists hide their phones. They don’t want you to see, find, or scroll through.
You’d think they had all the answers to solving world peace in it, but no.
There are always more sneaky reasons why they hide them from you, and I want to unpick them all for you today.
What is it With Phones?
We all have them, and as much as they can annoy us, they are now our walking, talking diaries, journals, social lives, work communication, downtime – everything.
Yes, we all keep our phones close by. But some of us could take or leave, sliding them into our pockets and actively hiding them.
For what reason?
What Do Narcissists Have to Hide?
Anything and everything they can!
Does that answer the question?!
The Secrets of the Narcissist
Narcissists are forever harboring secrets, and they can be as careful as they like…
…We will figure them out in the end!
I’d be certain that they’re one of the following six things…
#1 Inappropriateness
What does that look like?
We’re dealing with narcissists, here, so that inappropriateness can be one of several things.
- Adult videos
- Homemade videos they’ve been involved with in the past
- Shared videos or WhatsApp groups that have a rude or inappropriate theme
Nobody wants to find any of that on their partner’s phone, and if it’s there, the narcissist will hide it from you.
#2 Internet History
God only knows the kind of internet history they have, who they’ve searched for, where their image or video search has taken them.
You can even flip that coin and assume that they search for answers for the following:
- How to make your partner miserable
- How to hide your self-hate
- Signs you’re bored in a relationship
- How to hide infidelity
Imagine if for one moment you had caught sight of any of these searches. What would you think about them? Naturally, you’d probably feel bad about yourself because that’s what narcissists love to do.
But you shouldn’t.
This is the warped mind of a narcissist in black and white, right in front of you.
Except it’s not – because the narcissist is hiding it all from you!
#3 Money
And you don’t get to see it!
When I say money, I want to break it down a little bit for you, because this isn’t just about hiding their current account from you.
Money can also include any savings, any credit they’ve got (and spent), and even darker things like how much they spend on the Lotto or how much they try to invest in gambling or placing bets.
Narcissists and money really does become a whole umbrella of problems that will end up being yours too, if you aren’t careful.
Hiding their phones will also hide the notifications, or the apps they use in order to spend, gamble or waste money.
And as it works both ways, hiding money could also mean lying to you about how much they have.
If they’re always asking you for handouts, you’d think they might be struggling.
The fact is they could also be hiding what they’re truly earning, and hiding it from you so that they get the best of both worlds.
#4 The Ex
Aren’t they just always around? I know for a fact that narcissists generally love to keep in touch with their ex-partners.
They’ve got somebody who once thought the world of them, and who would have always complimented, helped, supported and even defended them.
Why would they want to let that go?
Surely the best and most appropriate thing (in their eyes) to do, would be to keep them dangling from a slight distance?
I’ll reach out when I feel like it.
I know they’ve always got my back.
If I’m down, I can run right back to the for a little flirtatious exchange.
Not only is that wrong on all levels, it’s also not fair on you – or the ex!
Keeping one foot in the past is unhealthy, and I advise anybody out there who is doing it just to feel somewhat safe and secure to stop.
#5 Secret Texts
Friends, family, secret dates or people they’re seeing behind your back – you can bet the narcissist is hiding it all.
And yes, they will include texts about you, what they really think of their female coworker, what troubles they get up to behind your back.
They don’t want your eyes falling on any of these messages, so the narcissist is going to hide their phone, always.
#6 Dating Apps
I’m sad to confirm that even the most ‘in a relationship’ narcissist will still advertise themselves as single on dating sites.
And those apps, likely to be more than one, will sit very well used in their phones.
It’s not for you to see, but they will enjoy baiting strangers and getting instant gratification through flirty conversation and exchanges.
You’d think they would see you as enough, but they can truly never have enough.
That’s not to say you aren’t enough, or worth your weight in loving gold.
Sadly, this is just the behavior of those toxic individuals.
When to Wave the Red Flag
I understand that phones are private, and it’s not okay to secretly pick up your partner’s and start scrolling through it, reading conversations and looking for signs they’re cheating or being inappropriate.
The red flag needs waving when the narcissist refuses to let you even near their phone.
You’ll see them slide their phone into their pockets even if they’re just leaving the room for one moment.
The phone even goes into the bathroom with them.
They won’t charge it at home, instead choosing to keep it right beside them, hide it, or keep it under their pillow.
Instead, they will take a charger to work and make sure the juice is full for another night at home.
Away from you.
There has to be a point when the red flag flies high. When it does, it’s not going to turn green. Not ever.
And you can wish and hope that you never have to be in a situation where you are judging somebody by the amount of times they hide their phones.
When you do, it’s time to ask if the person you’re with has something huge to hide from you.
Knowing they are doing that very thing ought to sound those alarm bells.
