Narcissists can’t help themselves. If they see a shiny coin in the sand, they make a beeline for it. It doesn’t matter if they already own one.

In the eyes of a narcissist, you can never have enough shiny coins.

What if, though, shiny coins became people? What if those people became intimate lovers of the narcissist?

The same still applies. The narcissist will find those people, they will have affairs, and they will do it guilt-free.

Why? Have they no morals?

Well… No. Without spoiling it even further, I want to take you in and reveal all.

Let’s Get One Thing Straight

Narcissists need supply, and they need it every day.

In as many ways as possible.

Ideally, from as many people as possible. 

That means if you are in a relationship with a narcissist, you are likely going to have to share them with other people.

And no, you won’t know that you’re sharing them…

They will simply take it upon themselves to have the affairs, and hide them from you. 

The supply they receive from different people will pump their ego that little bit bigger – which is what they need.

Supply? Go On…

Think of narcissists like cars. They need gas to run, right?

Well, you can’t put gas in a narcissist, but they can find supply to fuel themselves.

Supply comes in forms of how you react to them, or how you respond to their abuse. It also comes in how people give them attention or affection. It can come in how they’re validated. 

So – every bit of supply acts as fuel, and the fuel keeps the narcissist alive and fully functioning. 

When One Isn’t Enough

Isn’t it an odd thing to think about? Having multiple partners doesn’t even cross the minds of emotionally healthy and developed people. 

Affairs appear to narcissists like the answer to their problems. One person for them isn’t enough, and there are reasons why that will totally blow your mind.

Why Do Narcissists Have Affairs?

Affairs are so common in those with narcissistic personality disorder. They are an unavoidable topic for many people who have suffered at the disloyal hands of a toxic partner.

But there are reasons why these affairs take place.

#1 They Can’t Love Properly

Love isn’t a concept even vaguely familiar to the narcissist. They don’t know how to love, because they were never taught. 

Narcissists believe that love is a weakness, and to love somebody means the control is taken from them. The feelings that come with love mean a person is unable to stop, because you can’t help who you fall for, right? It’s easier to not love at all. 

The control the narcissist relies on for survival. 

Love doesn’t matter when it comes to affairs. For the narcissist, the affair is purely about sex and attention. These are the most shallow forms of affection you can receive, despite sex being an incredibly intimate act. 

Narcissists don’t see it that way.

They see themselves getting what they want, from people who are willing to give it.

#2 They’re Afraid You’ll Leave

It’s true that a narcissist is going to be afraid you’ll leave them. Despite the point raised in answer 1, the narcissist is terrified of being abandoned. It’s part of the reason they need several options; just in case you go first and they need a back up. With affairs, back ups are always a choice they can take if they need to.

Narcissists fear abandonment because it’s the very thing that would confirm they are unlovable and not worth sticking around for. What do they do to gain control back in that kind of situation?

They set up leaving, so they get out first. 

Affairs tick that box, and allow freedom to leave a relationship at the first sign you show disinterest or a change in feeling toward them. 

#3 Somebody New Lined Up

Narcissists love to have somebody new lined up.

The back-up plan.

It’s how narcissists feel better about being with you, knowing that if you were to leave or give them the impression that your interest in them is dwindling – they have another ready!

You know those DIY shows, where they show you how to make something?

“Here’s one I prepared earlier!”

Well, they do it because they cannot stand being alone. Being alone means being and sitting in your own company. That’s fine, if you like yourself. If you don’t – you can forget about it!

#4 Zero Conscience

The conscience of a narcissist doesn’t exist. 

Think about all those times you reflect and wish you treated somebody a little nicer on that bad day you had. Think about regretting snapping at that friend who was just trying to help you a while back.

You reflect because you have a conscience and you don’t want people to feel bad.

You’re healthy – congratulations!

Narcissists couldn’t be any different, in fact, they probably don’t even know how to spell ‘conscience.’

They’re not bothered about what they do, so an affair to them is just par for the course. If they see it, they like it. If they like it, they want it. If they want it, they’ll get it. 

To them, there’s no other plan available. 

#5 They Love the Thrill

A narcissist’s life has to be filled with exciting things. Have you ever noticed that about them; how they always have to have something going on?

Something to brag about.

Something to work for (those fundraising challenges…)

Something to show off.

A new adventure to make yours seem unimportant.

A fun new narcissist toy – like a new car or phone.

Narcissists love the thrill of life. They have to create it themselves, because life as it is just isn’t enough for them. 

So – that being said – let’s bring in somebody they can cheat with. 

Wouldn’t that be fun?

Not only do they have good old you at home waiting for them with their dinner nice and warm in the oven. They also have their little side dish out there catering to their every need. 

#6 Attention!

Attention is necessary with the narcissist. They can’t think of anything worse than anybody paying attention to them. Unlike you or I, though, attention from one person isn’t enough. They would love life if they could walk into every room to a standing ovation. 

Affairs? They just equate to more attention.

They equate to fun and frolics that they need. The sudden burst of somebody new who thinks they’re so wonderful and the best thing ever. 

Their thoughts of you waiting for them at home never come don’t exist, because they aren’t thinking of you.