Why do narcissists avoid Responsibility?

Narcissists are renowned for dodging responsibility. They evade anything that resembles an emotional weight on them. 

If you’re expecting to charge at a toxic person with any kind of request or order – you might as well forget it.

Narcissists don’t want to do what you tell them to. And yes, they’ll sniff at you with that, “Who do you think you are?” look on their face.

They’re hiding a lot, though – and I know you’re dying to know exactly what that is.

Avoiding responsibility is how they sneak away unnoticed.

Doesn’t sound very narcissistic-like, does it?

Read on, and all will be revealed…

The Narcissist Never Thinks Twice

Hey, why are you asking the narcissist to do something?

Do you not know anything?

The narcissist is not built to help, be delegated a task, or carry out a responsibility, so you must be joking.

They See a Way Out – They Take it

You – Thrown Under a Bus!

The narcissist will not hesitate to throw your name out there in order to apply damage control to their image. If they can pass on that responsibility – they will

  • It’s frustrating – you don’t deserve to have to clear up their mess. 
  • They pin you to the top of the blame list if it goes wrong – and people believe them. 

You want someone to see behind their mask – but nobody does.

Why Narcissists Always Avoid Responsibility

Let’s get to the real nitty gritty here, because there are things you should know about the narcissist when it comes to responsibility.

Always the victim

It’s a fact – and one you won’t be able to avoid. Narcissists see themselves as victims at all times, I repeat: at all times

Why are you asking me? You know I’ve got a bad back!

I can’t help, I’m afraid. I’ve pulled a muscle in my leg.

Whatever the reason will be to shirk responsibility, you can bet you’ll hear an excuse health-related coming back at you. It’s to gain pity, and to also give nobody a reason to contest or question their rejection of an offer. 

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They don’t want to make a mistake

I know this is going to sound crazy, but hear me out.

Do you know a narcissist who laughs at their mistakes, then goes to bed and sleeps at night?

I didn’t think so. 

Narcissists won’t help you if they think they can’t manage the task. If they survey what you’re asking and decide they’re not good enough for it, they’re not going to tell you that, honestly. 

They will go out of their way to walk quickly from the mission, stating any and every reason or excuse under the sun. They may even laugh at you for suggesting they help, like they can even be bothered!

It’s all a shield, and a very convincing one at that. Underneath that shield lies somebody moderately to highly incapable of doing what you’re asking them to do.

They will just never admit it to you. 

After all – an admission is a sign of weakness!

They’re above you

Sorry, who do you think you’re asking?

You’re asking me for help?

Don’t you know who I am?

Now, when you get to these reasons why the narcissist avoids responsibility, yuo know you’ve really met somebody so insecure that they can’t even offer you a half decent or entertaining excuse. 

Narcissists are far too above you to want to help or support you. I mean, what were you even thinking by asking them in the first place? You know their track history of saying no (heaven forbid you say no, right?!)

They ‘don’t have the time’ 

For a narcissist to help you, it means they have to have time on their hands. Now, don’t get me wrong, I know narcissists aren’t busy 24/7. That doesn’t mean they don’t have something planned at the exact time you need their help. 

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Could you just…?

“Oh shoot, I have a yoga class booked for that time.”

Would you mind just…?

“You know what? I’d love to, but I’m thinking of going away that weekend.”

Yeah. Narcissists are famous for throwing excuses that revolve around a simple ‘lack of time.’ They don’t want to offer you time because they value it. 

They don’t value you, so you’ll have to struggle on your own. Thank you very much.

You aren’t worth it

No. The narcissist will take one look at you and want to get away quickly. You just aren’t someone they consider to be worth it enough to help. 

This is where narcissists like to check in with themselves a little bit. They remember who they are. Yes, they love to be everybody’s friend on the surface. When it comes down to it though, they aren’t your friends. They don’t appreciate nor like you asking them for a favor when they only really see you every now and then. 

What’s in it for them?

Well? Have you ever thought about that? I bet you haven’t!

Narcissists won’t lend you a single moment of their time if they don’t see you offering something even better in return.

You need thirty minutes of their time? You’d better offer half a day or yours!

The one thing you can rely on is a narcissist’s attitude to never change when it comes to what you expect of them. It’s okay for them to look at you and make demands, but you can’t do it back – it just won’t wash.

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Always feeling as though they’re owed a favor, narcissists won’t be willing to engage with you until you prove that these favors are a two-way street.

It’s a great way to avoid responsibility, but it’s true. The narcissist will back away ike this simply because of one, very real fact:

They simply don’t want to do what you are asking them to do.

Unless the reward is significant, you can forget it. 

Never at Fault

Why would they be?

A narcissist has the prerogative to say or do what they choose, and it isn’t up to you to question them or tell them what to do. 

They’re never at fault, so if they avoid responsibility, you’re better of not holding them accountable for doing so. 

Hey, you’re so unhelpful!

Why couldn’t you just offer ten minutes?

Is it so hard to think of others?

I mean, you can try and say those things, but don’t ever expect the narcissist to fire back at you with an apology or any kind of remorse. Their lack of responsibility means they get to walk away innocently. If the project gets screwed up, it has nothing to do with them.

They get to retain their perfect reputation, while you are left picking up the pieces.

I know what you’re thinking.

“So What else is new?”

You’d be right to think that. It’s just what they do, and another thing they get away with. 

You’re far better off relying on people who are more loyal to you, kind and compassionate. 

Narcissists are a waste of time. 

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