Why Do Narcissists Always Need Attention?

Narcissists are always hogging the spotlight – no matter the situation!

If they see an opportunity to swoop in, they’re going to go head first and not care a single bit about whose toes they’re stepping on.

This isn’t a cute quirk – it’s part of the narcissist’s hideous lifestyle.

From tagging themselves in every single place possible online, to dominating every single conversation – narcissists are attention-seeking experts.

It’s enough to change your perspective of them when you start to look close enough.

What’s the reason behind it all though? Why do they crave so much attention?

Well, you came to the right place to find out!

The Hunger for Admiration

Narcissists crave constant attention like it’s food and they haven’t eaten for a week. It’s a real hunger, and it’s genuine. Their ego and sense of self-worth is so fragile that they just can’t stand the idea of being ignored.

This need for attention acts as a driving force for so many toxic behaviors that we will look at in just a little bit.

Just know that everybody becomes affected by this hunger – and I would bet money that you have, too. 

The Endless Quest for Validation

It seems so endless because it is. Narcissists never stop looking for validation. Wherever they go, whatever they do, they’re on a hunt for it. 

Narcissists believe they are special, and expect you to feel the same about them as they do. If you don’t, you won’t register on their scale of interest. 

Behind the Narcissist’s Demand for Attention

Pull back those veils and what do you see??

Ah, yes. The quiet, insecure, sad, lonely narcissist. 

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The person who uses countless tactics to draw everybody away from the truth. 

It’s a shock to those who were tricked into believing the narcissist was a confident person, but the catch was there, and the catch cannot be unseen. 

Understanding the Constant Need for Approval

I mean, if you can understand it, then you have already won the entire internet for today!

It all kind of comes together, like a jigsaw, and that’s how people begin to start knowing. These pieces that don’t make sense by themselves slowly build a picture over time that offers the image of the narcissist. 

Inside the Mind of an Attention Seeker

Narcissists have the kind of mind that they don’t want you to get inside of. Getting to unlock everything inside would mean you have got them figured out. 

Surprisingly, the narcissist’s mind is filled with constant fear of rejection. They actually don’t want you to suspect them and the truth, so they learn to hide it well. 

Attention-seekers are always scanning the room looking for the next person they can impress. Even if they’ve spoken to you once, they’re known to come around the next week and fill you in on the same five stories as they did last week. 

Why?

Because they don’t actually remember who they’re talking to, nor do they care!

6 Examples of Narcissistic Attention-Seeking Behaviors

I want to give you a few examples of narcissistic attention-seeking behaviors because I feel it’s important to throw everything you’ve learned so far at real scenarios. 

This is how people really start relating to what it is to experience a true attention-seeker. 

Brace yourself!

Self-Promotion: Me, Me, Me!

Narcissists will regularly engage in relentless self-promotion. It’s all going to be about them, and you just have to suck it up and listen. It may be in person or on social media, but they will use what they can. 

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Narcissists boast at every available chance about their achievements, what they own, or perceived superiority to gain admiration and validation from any and all people they can find.

Interrupting Conversations

A strong desire to dominate conversations and be the center of attention is at the (cold) heart of every narcissist. They won’t hesitate in interrupting others or redirecting conversations back to themselves. 

Oh yes, that happened to me!

Ah, yes. It’s like that one time I …

Yeah, yeah. We get it. You like to talk. 

Seeking Validation

Validation and praise from others is used to feed the narcissist’s fragile ego. They’re known to fish for compliments, they love to crave applause. They even demand excessive attention to affirm their self-worth. They want to know they are somebody in a room full of, well, actual people.

Seeking validation is a huge sign that a person isn’t comfortable in their own skin. Narcissists get away with letting that be too obvious by being grandiose.

Grandiosity

Speaking of which!

Narcissists exhibit grandiose behavior. They exaggerate their talents and accomplishments; often downright lying about them. 

They are famously known to stretch stories or fabricate achievements to plump up their image too.

Wow, really? What was Bora Bora like?

Hmm. I’m sure they spent all of 30 minutes on Google studying it to be able to answer that. 

Cue the rolling of eyes from the people who have sussed them out. 

The Victim Card

Despite their outward confidence, narcissists play the victim to gain sympathy and attention. 

I had such a bad bout of flu. It was terrible. I wasn’t able to even really move. I don’t know how I got through it.

I really pulled my back last time we went. It took weeks to feel normal again.

Anything Absolutely anything. If it draws attention away from everybody else, the narcissist is going to do it. 

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They can even exaggerate hardships or manipulate scenarios or situations to make themselves look like the victims. They want support and validation from others, and they will stop at nothing. 

Attention-Seeking Outbursts

Outbursts are not uncommon for narcissists. It’s usually a last-straw scene, but they can suddenly flip the script and rage out to people.

This is slightly different from the rest of the list because it is usually saved only for partners. It’ll be the type of attention they get from shouting, hurling insults, or hollering about how bad their day at work was. 

You must drop what you’re doing and give them what they want—attention. If you fall for it, you’ll be giving into their toxic demands.

This also works in the opposite way – the silent treatment. 

In contrast to raging – the narcissist can equally completely ignore you and act as though you don’t exist. 

They want you to ask what’s wrong. 

Is there anything I can do?

What did I do wrong?

Is something the matter?

What can I do to make it better?

Their aim is the same though:

They want your attention!

Giving it to them is like directly handing over your power to them.

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