The crush from a narcissist is hard when they act so indifferent toward you. What did you do to deserve such treatment? Why are you so prone to experiencing it? Will they change?

So many questions. They can’t be answered until you get down to the real nitty gritty – the reasons why narcissists act like they don’t care. 

I want you to learn the eye-opening tactics of the unbothered narcissist and gain an insight into what’s going on in their minds.

Rather than yearn for their love and approval, you can learn to let them go with a gracious heart.

Hey – it’s possible. You don’t have to sink into their emotional neglect.

Let’s figure out how – right now. 

Narcissists and Pride

Let’s get a little something clear from the get go.

Narcissists have a lot of pride. And it’s nice to have some in life, right? I get it. Be proud of who you are and celebrate that person.

I’m all for that.

This isn’t that, though.

This is a whole new level of pride that encompasses and stomps all over healthy pride. 

This comes in the form of stubbornness. This is about over-entitlement. They are superior to everybody else they know and will ever meet. They must keep up this level of egotism, and command that pride to stay and continue to grow. 

I think it’s actually safe to say that they are a step above pride.

This would enter the narcissist into the ‘arrogant’ category.

Exactly where they all belong. 

It’s a great example of how they can get to the point where they don’t care.

Why would they?

To care is to come down from that station of arrogance and meet you with empathy. 

Nope. 

Why Narcissists Act Like They Don’t Care

It hurts when a narcissist plainly shows they don’t have a care in the world about you, or what you are saying to them.

It’s enough to make you look in the mirror and think, “What is it about me that is so fundamentally uninteresting?” 

It’s not you.

I wish I had a dollar for every time I had to tell somebody who has been involved with a narcissist, that. 

They want you to think it’s you, and that’s why you feel how you do.

It’s not.

It’s them.

Here’s why. 

#1 “I’m Better Than You”

I’ll start with the most obvious, here!

Narcissists don’t think they’re better than you- they know they’re better than you.

That’s not to say their opinions are facts, I mean, define better anyway, right?

However – the narcissist believes they are better than not just you, but everybody else too. 

Because of this, they aren’t going to be interested in you, nor will they act like they care. If they can get away with it, they will ignore you, or any news you have completely. 

Your news is like a little breeze in the air. It will come, then it will go. And nothing in their lives will have changed because of it. 

How does this roll with the people on the other side?

Well, they will feel as though they don’t matter, of course.

So what else is new?

#2 “I Don’t Want You To Think You Have That Power”

Narcissists are obsessed, and I can’t stress this enough – obsessed with having control. They feel entitled actually to command control, but rather than overtly demand it, they can offer it in more covert, subtle ways. 

An example of this is choosing not to care, whether that’s about you in general or any exciting news you have to give them. 

Handing over their care for you or anything you have to give is handing you the controls. They get to dictate to you what you should pay attention to, and that’s the threat they get from caring at all.

It’s easier for them to place a shield up between them and anybody or anything else. 

Nothing can get past it, from their end or yours. 

#3 “You Have Good News? So What”

A client came to me once and said that when she found out she was pregnant, she told her narcissistic father, who replied with, “…So?”

I never forgot that. The woman would have been 30 years old at the time. How sad and deflated she must have felt when she spread good news to a parent who said, “So?” 

If your own father can’t be happy for you, what hope is there, right?

Actually, any good news you share with a narcissist can be met with just as much indifference. They want to downplay what you say because they won’t want you getting too much attention. It goes as far to even saying:

The narcissist almost wants to shame and guilt trip you for daring to have something good going on in your life. 

We’re delving into really toxic behaviors here. Behaviors that stay with the people who they’re aimed at for the rest of their lives. 

In truth, the narcissist will act like they don’t care by being so unbothered because your news needn’t draw all that attention to you. 

You don’t deserve the spotlight.

Nobody does, according to the narcissist.

Except them, of course. 

#4 Secret Jealousy

The narcissist will be jealous of you whenever there is a chance for you to celebrate anything good you’ve got going on openly. The news of your news will, to them, be a threat. 

You’ve come along and dared to get attention. You’ve also dared to be more successful than they are.

New house?

New job?

New baby?

Getting married?

Whatever it is, the narcissist isn’t going to care because they don’t want to feed your news any further.

It stops with them, so your bubble will well and truly burst as a result.

(Sorry, not sorry, from the narcissist).

#5 “You’re An Attention Stealer!”

Do not take anything from the narcissist! Didn’t you know they had great news just yesterday?? Why are you talking like they should suddenly switch to you and care?

Narcissists will see you as an attention stealer if you try to steal their thunder.

And no, you don’t even have to do it on purpose. You could come along with the most honest and good intention.

The narcissist won’t see it that way. 

So what now?

Well, it’s far better for them to just not care.

If they can act like your news sucks, they can get away with still singing about their own, even though you are trying to speak up yourself. 

It’s almost childlike, isn’t it?