Last Updated on February 16, 2022 by Alexander Burgemeester
Have you recently had an encounter with a guy who can’t seem to get enough of you? He calls every night to hook up!
Are you wondering what’s up with that? Are you concerned he’s thinking about taking things further, but you’re not ready for a relationship?
So why do men keep coming back to the same person? Why do guys hook up with the same girl multiple times? What’s his thought process each time he picks up the phone to arrange another midnight rendezvous with the same girl?
Guys hook up with the same girl for several reasons: From enjoying having sex with her to falling in love with her and pursuing a relationship.
Keep reading if you want to know more!
6 Reasons Why Guys Hook Up With the Same Girl Multiple Times
There are many reasons why a guy hooks up with the same girl multiple times; here are seven of them.
#1 She is Good in Bed
It’s no secret that men like good sex. Some women even complain that their partners are obsessed with sex and want it more than they have the energy to give.
Social psychologist Roy Baumeister states: men have higher sex drives than women, and most men under the age of 60 think about sex daily. Research suggests only one-quarter of women think about sex as often.
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When men think about sex, they are thinking about good sex. If a man finds sex partners he has wild sex with, he will keep hooking up with the same girl until the chemistry wears off.
#2 He’s Thinking About a Relationship
Contrary to popular belief, men don’t get into relationships because sex is good. Although that does help, a guy will decide if he wants to take things further depending on how the woman makes him feel.
It may have started as a one night stand, but when they started getting to know each other a bit more, he noticed that she makes him feel safe, significant, and motivated. So now he’s trying to figure out whether he wants to take the relationship to the next level.
Because she makes him feel good physically and mentally, he keeps going to see the same girl.
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#3 She is Beautiful
We all know that men love beautiful women, and every guy has their type. You might be his ideal in terms of looks, and he finds you extremely attractive. Point is: physical attraction is very very important.
Your physical appearance causes him intense arousal. When he leaves you, just the thought of you gets him excited, and he can’t help but come back and see the same girl.
#4 He Thinks You’re Cool
Overly emotional women are a turn-off to men, and that’s not because they’re insensitive, but because it makes them nervous. Have you ever noticed that you get emotional when you’re around an emotional person too?
That’s because feelings are energy and they’re contagious. Since most men would rather not deal with their emotions unless they’ve got to, being around an emotional woman is not something they want to do.
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So the fact that you’re relaxed and give him no stress makes him feel comfortable when he hooks up with you, which is why he keeps coming back for more.
#5 He’s Not a Ladies Man
Although he’s not planning on asking you to be his one and only anytime soon, he’s not interested in hooking up with anyone else either. He is the type of guy who likes hooking up with the same girl.
As long as what you’ve got going is drama-free, and you have great sex, he’s going to keep coming back. Some men would rather not waste their time and energy sleeping with different women, so they keep seeing the same girl.
#6 There’s No one Else Available
No strings attached sex can be challenging to come by. Some men just want casual sex and nothing else, but finding a woman who will be up for it, is an entirely different matter. So if she says come over any time he calls, that’s where he’s going.
What Does it Mean When You Hook Up With Someone More Than Once
Well, that depends on the type of relationship you have with your guy because according to research analyst Dr. Paul Joannides, casual relationships fall into different categories including:
No Strings Attached Sex
With this type of casual hookup, there’s zero emotional connection, you have great chemistry in the bedroom, and that’s as far as it goes.
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You just started dating but it might be that neither of you is ready for a relationship, or you know that outside the bedroom, you’re just not right for each other. A no-strings-attached arrangement works well when you’re in a good place career-wise and socially and the only thing you’re missing is great sex.
Even though you hook up often, you are both more than happy not to take the relationship any further.
Sex With Your Ex
In general, exes fall into one of three groups. First, we’d sooner forget the ex, hide when we see them in public, and block social media.
The ex that slipped away and we still dream about having a happy ever after with, then there are the exes who we know are not good for us, but because the sex was great, when that phone rings at 2:00am we’re jumping in an Uber to where ever they’re at.
A Friends With Benefits Relationship.
A friends with benefits relationship is one where platonic friends decide to add casual sex into the mix. You’re both want to have regular casual hookups, but you don’t want a committed relationship. This can be the perfect setup for the emotionally mature because you’ve got the best of both worlds. You like each other, and you have a good sexual compatibility.
Think about what category you and your guy fall into. Typically, these categories are fixed, you both know where you stand with each other, and neither of you are interested in taking the relationship to the next level.
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However, if one of you starts wanting more, it will change the dynamics of your union. Depending on whether the other person feels the same, you’ll either stop seeing each other, or your relationship status will change and you’ll become more than a hookup.
Do Guys Catch Feelings After Hooking Up?
Yes, they do. It’s not uncommon for women to agree to hook, catch feelings, and expect a long term relationship. But this is not unique to women, research suggests that a lot of men experience it too, here’s why…During sex, the bonding hormone also known as the love hormone oxytocin is released.
Licensed psychotherapist Dr. John D. Moore says that oxytocin makes men and women experience emotional highs during and after sex. He states that he works with men and women who have similar experiences when it comes to intimacy and attachment.
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Dr. Moore states that many men ask him if it’s normal to want to take things into a long term relationship after a hook-up because they find themselves thinking about that woman a lot. Dr Moore says it’s natural to feel this way because that’s how the body is designed.
Sex is an overwhelming experience. There are a lot of feelings involved, and the energy released doesn’t just disappear. Some men hold onto that energy and have a strong desire to experience it with the same girl again.
How Do You Tell If a Guy Likes You After a Hookup?
Some women feel embarrassed about catching feelings for a guy after hooking up with them. Before running ahead of yourself and confessing your undying love, it’s best to find out if the feelings are mutual.
Here are six signs that will tell you if a guy likes you after a hookup:
#1 He Has no Exit Strategy
One night stands can be awkward, it’s all fireworks during the act, and then there’s a massive downer and you both start feeling uncomfortable. To work around this, some men develop a well-crafted exit strategy.
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For example, he might have a friend call and pretend there’s an emergency, or, he’ll say he needs to rush home because he forgot to turn the cooker off. So he’ll come up with some excuse to leave your apartment as quickly as possible.
But when he likes you, there will be no exit strategy. He’ll feel comfortable enough to stay the night and leave in the morning.
#2 You Have Pillow Talk
After sex, instead of jumping out of bed and getting in the shower, you both lay in bed talking. But you don’t have boring formal conversations just to be polite and pass the time.
You have interesting, thought-provoking discussions. You may have light-hearted talks too. Or, to get to know each other a bit more, you play question time where no questions are off-limits.
Pillow talk is a thing, Alisa Ruby Bash explains it as an unguarded, authentic, intimate conversation between lovers. She goes on to state that it’s a genuine, loving, and safe connection that allows couples to take their relationship to a deeper level. So if you have pillow talk, he’s feeling you.
#3 He Wants to See You Outside the Bedroom
When a relationship is nothing more than a one night stand, the guy will call you after midnight and he’ll either come to you, or you’ll go to him. But when he starts liking you, he’ll want to spend more time with you.
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To get to know you better, he’ll want to meet up with you outside the bedroom. He Most men don’t like getting ahead of themselves, so he’s not going to ask you out on a date straight away. Nevertheless, he might ask you to accompany him for a coffee, to the mall, or some other neutral venue.
#4 He Calls and Texts You a Lot
Despite the stereotypes, men are very straightforward when it comes to relationships. A man isn’t going to waste his time pursuing a woman he isn’t interested in. If he saw you as a casual hookup, he would call you only when he wants sex.
But he’s calling you ALL the time! He calls when he’s on his way to work, when he’s on his lunch break, and when he’s on his way back from work! In between that, he sends you sweet text messages. At this point, it should be pretty obvious that he wants more than sex.
#5 He Finds a Reason to Spend Time With You
Is he always looking for an excuse that doesn’t involve sex to come and see you? For example, he might call and say he’s in the area and ask you out for lunch.
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Or you get a random text message from him asking if you can do him a favor. He has an event to go to, one of his friends was supposed to accompany him but she’s pulled out, can you help?
He might even manufacture a meet-up by intentionally leaving an item like a watch at yours and asking if you can drop it off to him at work when you pass by. If you keep getting requests like this, he’s definitely up to something.
#6 He Gets Jealous About Other Guys
It can be pretty confusing when you’re hooking up with a guy who gets jealous of the other men in your life. Since you’re not in a relationship, what is the reason for his jealous outbursts?
There are several explanations for this, it may be that he only wanted sex and then started having feelings for you. His possessive behavior is because he doesn’t know how to tell you that he likes you more than expected.
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Additionally, his jealousy could be due to insecurity. If you are having rendezvous with other guys, you’ve got something to compare him to and you might decide that someone else is a better match.
So now you know the answer to the question, why do guys hook up with the same girl? It’s up to you to decide whether you want to proceed with your hook-up and start dating. Don’t sell yourself short if you want more than sex, and he’s not interested.
If he wants more than sex, and you’re not interested, don’t string him along. The bottom line is you’re both adults, and you’re more than capable of figuring out which direction you want your relationship to go in.
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