Why Do Guys Flirt When They Are Not Interested?

What could be more frustrating than flirting with a guy you really like and then hearing nothing from him? Why do guys flirt when they are not interested in pursuing?

Deciphering a stranger’s motives is often complicated, especially when flirting in person.

At some time in our lives, we’ve all had to stop and ask ourselves, “Wait, is he flirting with me?” Of course, the other question that then comes to mind is, “If he is flirting with me, why hasn’t he made any other moves?”

Have you ever wondered why a guy would flirt with a female he doesn’t want to date? When you’re interested in a man, you want to know if he’s genuinely interested because uncertainty gets more unpleasant and less romantic with time. 

Flirting is a way to determine if there’s any sexual attraction and compatibility between two people.

So if the connection between the two of you seemed great and then nothing happened, it can make any sane person question what’s going on.

Let’s go over why men flirt and why some of the reasons have nothing to do with wanting anything serious with you.

Why Do Guys Flirt When They Are Not Interested? 15 Reasons Why

Why Do Guys Flirt When They Are Not Interested?

Guys flirt with women they don’t want to go out with for various reasons.

These range from flirting with bolstering their egos to flirting to make another girl jealous. Are you ready to discover why a guy might flirt with you but not ask you out?

Here are 15 reasons why guys flirt with women they aren’t interested in.

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1. He Can’t Be With You Because He’s Already In A Relationship

He could like you if you met a guy who appeared fantastic and flirted back.

But, for whatever reason, he claims he can’t date you, or he may even add that he is in a relationship, but it isn’t serious yet. For example, if you met him online through dating apps, he may be in a relationship.

According to the data, nearly 42% of Tinder users were in relationships when they signed up for the app. So, he may like you and have loved the flirtation, but he cannot take it any further. 

You may then be wondering, “why do guys flirt when they are in a relationship?”

There are several reasons for this, and each depends on the specific man’s situation. He may be unhappy in his relationship or bored and looking for some excitement outside of the relationship.

Or he may be attracted to you and single, but he struggles with genuine relationships. This might be due to a lack of trust or anxiety towards relationships.

2. He Has No Idea That He’s Even Flirting

Some men are just plain clueless. When a guy is flirting, he may not even realize it.

There are also very real biological differences between men and women. According to studies, men are simply less proficient than women in reading emotional and social signs.

Flirting also takes place in the limbic system, a non-logical region of the brain connected with our emotional states.

So a man could be having an incredibly fun time speaking with you and not even realize that it’s coming off as flirting or even realize that you’re flirting with him. He may not pick up on the nonverbal cues and eye contact. 

3. He Enjoys Getting Attention

Flirting can be a lot of fun! It can be a lot of fun meeting someone new and having them become enamored by your charming ways and find your old stories fascinating.

Those of us who engage in it know that flirting is pretty enjoyable. However, did you know that some people become addicted to the feeling of being flirted with?

3. He Enjoys Getting Attention

Many males will indeed flirt because they appreciate the attention. They enjoy how women react to them and the sensation of being desired by many people.

This suggests that they are more interested in flirting than having a real relationship with you.

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4. He’s Using You To Practice His Flirting Skills

Sometimes a guy flirts with women they are not interested in to hone his abilities.

It’s a typical method employed by guys who want to learn how to flirt and improve their seduction skills without risking rejection by someone they’re truly attracted to.

He’ll use his practice to learn what works and what doesn’t. Then when he is ready, he will be able to flirt with the woman he finds appealing without feeling uncomfortable or worried.

Unfortunately, he is not considering the detrimental impact this might have on the women he’s using to practice his skills. 

5. You Thought There Was A Flirtatious Connection, But He Didn’t

There are times when we might misinterpret the signs we receive from a guy.

If a man is witty, funny, kind, and attractive, you may believe he is flirting with you and begin flirting back. You may sense an immediate bond with him and be disappointed when the flirtation fails to produce results.

You’ll wonder why he flirted when he didn’t want to ask you out. Despite all the telltale signs, according to you, he may have never actually been flirting with you from the beginning.

Sometimes we mistake a person’s politeness and charms for flirting. 

6. They Want To Feel Proud Of Themselves

Flirting is something that some guys like doing for several reasons, including lifting their self-esteem and providing themselves with the affirmation that they are wanted.

The intent may be to increase their self-esteem by flirting with as many women as possible to find out how many like them.

If they can get lots of girls’ numbers and go on tons of dates, they feel attractive or desired.

But, overall, their reasons for flirting are all about feeding their egos and feeling better about themselves. It has nothing to do with you and everything about how they need to feel about themselves. 

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7. He’s Using You To Make Another Girl Jealous

Not everyone is genuine in their connections with others. For example, sometimes a guy may flirt with a female he doesn’t truly like to make the one he likes jealous.

It’s a pretty common tactic to get someone else’s attention. An example would be a guy ignoring the girl he likes and flirting with her girlfriend.

7. He's Using You To Make Another Girl Jealous

He hopes to catch her attention and make her jealous by doing so. Although this strategy may work, it is unethical since flirting with someone you aren’t interested in is a surefire way to hurt someone’s feelings and lead them on.

So if you notice that he’s flirting with you but looking in the direction of another girl constantly, he may be using you to get her attention.  

8. Flirting Is Only A Game To Some Men

One of the biggest reasons men flirt with women they aren’t interested in is that they see flirting as a game.

Many guys find it entertaining, and some even find it an excellent technique to gain popularity and praise from strangers.

You may even be surprised to find out that some men create mini competitions with each other to see how many women’s numbers they can get in one night.

Some guys even compete to see how many girls swipe right on Tinder or message them back on other online dating platforms. 

So if a guy seemed to be an absolute dream come true for you but is no longer contacting you, it is entirely possible that he was just having fun and not intending to call you.

The best way to react is not to take it personally and move on. 

9. He’s Naturally Flirtatious and Powerless To Stop Himself

Flirting comes naturally to certain guys. He may not even be interested in hooking up with you or getting your attention.

Some men have a way with words and body language that comes off as incredibly charming. They’ll flirt with the pizza delivery person, the barista serving them coffee, and even their best friends.

That’s how they enjoy communicating, and perhaps they’re just the kind of person that loves to love everyone.

This is another type of flirt whose intentions you don’t want to take too personally. This type of guy probably couldn’t stop flirting to save his life. 

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9. He Is Lonesome and In Need Of Friendship

When a man feels lonely, he may be tempted to flirt with any woman who crosses his path. 

Flirting with a woman may give him the emotional rush he is craving to fill in the void of loneliness.

Perhaps your attention is what he wants to take his mind off of how alone he feels. He may not even want to have any relationship with you. He’s just looking for a quick fix to his loneliness problem.

Regrettably, this also frequently results in unwelcome and improper relationships with women. You may find that this man is flirting with you nonstop or not respecting your boundaries when you set them.

If you believe someone is crossing such lines, gently inform them that the contact is inappropriate. This will allow them to adjust their conduct or leave the situation.

10. He Only Wanted To Have Sex With You

There are many reasons why people flirt, and one of those is a desire to have casual sex.

This guy may have seen you from across the room or on a dating app and instantly found you attractive. He may have come over to you and started flirting because he wanted to see if you were interested in a single night of fun.

10. He Only Wanted To Have Sex With You

On the other hand, he may have never had any real intentions of having a serious relationship with you. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting and engaging in casual sex.

However, if you weren’t interested in jumping into bed right away, that may explain why he flirted and moved on so quickly. 

11. He’s A Wingman For His Friend

When guys go out with their friends, they often make it a mission to help each other meet women.

They may try to flirt with you for the sake of their friend or to amuse you while their pal flirts with your girlfriend. Some guys are also too nervous to ask a female out on a date, so they enlist the help of a friend to do it for them.

This might be a confusing position since you may have begun to enjoy the company of his friend.

Pinpointing the exact reason why a guy would flirt with you in this kind of situation can be difficult to ascertain until they tell you. 

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12. He’s Flirting In Order To Be Polite

Men, for the most part, are uncomplicated. For the most part, men tend to be less shy and reserved about asking a woman out on a date.

However, one thing might throw them off their game, and that’s if you flirt with them first.

Some men will begin to flirt back in order to be nice or because they are uncomfortable.

So, if you begin the flirting, it’s conceivable that the guy would merely flirt back to be kind and not hurt your feelings. 

13. His Emotions Are All Over The Place

Don’t let anyone fool you into thinking that men aren’t as emotional as women.

They are. However, some guys don’t know what they want. One day they’re interested in you, and the next day they pull away and go completely ghost.

What are you supposed to make out of this kind of situation? In this case, it could be that he’s unsure of his own emotions and what he wants.

He’s hot and cold with his flirting and interest because he’s not fully aware of his own wants and needs. Don’t waste time trying to figure him out. 

14. He Had An Argument With His Girlfriend

A guy may flirt with you to get revenge on his girlfriend. If he is having a difficult time in his relationship, he may try to flirt with other women to get back at his partner.

He may seem to be flirting innocently, but it could hurt both you and his partner.

Therefore, it’s best never to get involved in a couple’s fight or relationship issues.

This will save you and them from a lot of potential hurt as he is most likely crossing serious boundaries

15. You’re Sending Him Mixed Messages

Do you recall the last time you spent an evening flirting with a fantastic guy only to have things end then?

He didn’t bother asking you for your phone number, Instagram handle, or even your Facebook.

Now you’re stuck wondering why he even bothered flirting with you in the first place. You might be thinking, “What exactly is going on?” Did you perhaps make a mistake?

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15. You're Sending Him Mixed Messages

The truth of the matter might be that he did want to ask you out, but he kept getting mixed signals from you. This is why it’s critical to communicate your objectives more clearly when meeting new people.

A person may conclude that you are only looking for a friend, not a loving relationship, if you give the incorrect signals.

As a result, your motives won’t seem romantic to them, and they won’t be as likely to pursue a relationship with you.

How Do You Tell If A Guy Is Interested Or Just Flirty?

Trying to figure out whether a guy likes you might be tough until you ask him.

However, gathering up the courage to do so can also be hard. That’s when it helps to pay attention to the signs that a guy is interested in you and not just flirting for fun.

Pay attention to these signs to figure out what his true feelings are!

How Do You Tell If A Guy Is Interested Or Just Flirty?

1. He Gets Nervous Around You

If a guy’s typical flirting behavior is all confidence and bravado, that may be difficult to keep up when he really likes someone.

On the other hand, when we’re really interested in someone, we know that there are higher risks at stake. So pay attention to how he behaves when he flirts with you.

Do you notice that he’s twitchier than usual? Perhaps he’s sweating more or clearing his throat a bunch.

These are all signs that he wants the situation to progress into something more. 

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2. He Is Generally The One To Make Things Happen

He usually sets up plans, texts first, and calls you to find out how your day is going.

It’s also a great sign if he never cancels plans after already making them (unless he has a legitimate reason to do so).

Any time he has with you is enough for him, whether it is with friends or just him.

You’re never left wondering if he wants to hang out or not because he has made his intentions incredibly clear. 

3. He Puts In The Effort To Get To Know You Better

Is he ever curious about your personal life or spiritual experiences? Does he make an effort to ask you about your professional goals or personal ones?

If he seems genuinely interested in who you are and what you have to say, then the chances are that he’s interested in you.

A guy who is just flirting for fun won’t take the time out to get to know the girl better.

However, a guy who wants something more serious will go out of his way to better understand you.

You’ll instantly notice that you have his full attention, and he is super engaged in getting to know you. This helps both of you see if there is a real connection between the two of you. 

4. He Takes You Out On A Great Date

Going out on dates is a great way to see if you’re compatible with someone.

A guy who only wants to flirt for fun will not waste his time going out on dates. He might take you out to the movies, or perhaps he wants to go out dancing with you.

While humans don’t engage in a mating dance as other animals do, we judge potential partnerships based on the ability to dance. 

Many animal species, including humans, have long recognized dancing as a signal of courting.

Better dancers, it seems to reason, attract more mates or a more attractive mate.

But, for the first time, Rutgers University scientists have found a relationship between dance skills and known partner quality measures in humans.

It seems that dance skills or even simply going out dancing are ways for people to engage in more serious courtship. 

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5. He Is Considerate Of The Time He Gets To Spend With You

That includes not checking his phone, replying to texts, or answering irrelevant phone calls.

He pays close attention to you and keeps constant eye contact when he’s with you. This is because he views you as significant to him. He wants to make sure that you know that he is honest and serious about the potential of your connection.

He hopes that you will be just as serious about him in return. This is a great way to know whether a flirtatious guy likes you!

6. His Praises Aren’t Always About Your Physical Beauty

A guy that likes you and wants something more serious will focus on and appreciate other aspects about you besides your beauty.

He’ll, of course, let you know how beautiful he thinks you are, but his focus won’t constantly be on that. Instead, he’ll compliment you on your intelligence, sense of humor, good deeds as a person, or even the way your lips curl when you smile.

The compliments will be genuine and will reflect all of the aspects of you that he genuinely appreciates and enjoys about you.

When he’s not complimenting your outward appearance, he’s genuinely seeing the real you. 

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Last Updated on April 11, 2022 by Alexander Burgemeester

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Alexander Burgemeester

Alexander Burgemeester has a Master in Neuropsychology. He studied at the University of Amsterdam and has a bachelor's in Clinical Psychology. Want to know more?

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