Q: My diagnosed narcissistic boyfriend,is now my ex boyfriend. I just don’t understand how he can be sweet at times but had no empathy for me no matter how much i cared for and loved him. Our hole relationship I always had to argue with him of his mistreat of me and the way he would talk down to me. He is always so criticising of other guys and how they mistreat they’re girlfriends and he will turn around and do the same thing to me,in which he criticised them for. I have a hard time understanding why he wasted so much of my time if he was never going to change.
A: The good news is that he is your EX boyfriend. His sweetness was all an act- part of hooking you in. His sweetness is part of the mask he wears to fool people. Narcissists cannot identify their own negative behavior– they deny it to themselves and to others—and blame the other person for “making” them act this way or “project” their own bad behavior onto the victim (saying YOU are the one who mistreated him). He won’t change because he doesn’t see anything wrong with himself…so he sees no reason to change.