Why Are Narcissists So Mean?

Narcissists are cruel. This isn’t born from any special ‘strength’ they have. Instead, it’s considered armor, hiding people from the real person underneath.

The really fragile, weak, and insecure human being. 

Behind their superiority facade lies such self-hatred. This drives narcissists to commit crimes of morality.

They belittle.

They manipulate.

They seek validation to the point where they can and will inflict pain.

They unveil a dark, mean streak to those close to them.

But Why?

Buckle up – This one is a rough ride.

They Disrespect to Feel Superior

Where your soul and mine reside, there is nothing but hollowness with a narcissist.

Their inner emptiness is what they are constantly trying to cover up by pretending to be nice. They pretend to love you. They pretend to care. 

They lure you in.

Then they cause nothing but disrespect. 

They will slate you, any choices you may or things you like. If the only way to turn is left, they will berate you for not picking right.

Narcissists change the air around you to make it feel naturally cold all the time. 

But guess what they get out of it?

Everything! 

Narcissists skip, hop and jump when they see you so miserable. It means their evil plans to destroy and pull you apart are working. 

If you feel as happy as they are, they must change it as soon as possible. 

They’re ‘Trying to be Funny’

You know the times, come on – show of hands!

What are you wearing, a dress or a nightie? I was only joking! You look fine.

Crikey, is this beef you cooked, or is it the leather sofa? It’s just a joke!

I’d better drive, you need a sight test, you’re that bad. I’m only kidding!

We all tease – I get it. I’m talking about constant ridicule. Everything. Anything. All things. Day and night. No matter the day or company you’re in.

In fact…

Narcissists out in front of a group of people will use that opportunity to laugh and joke even more than if you were at home. People will laugh, yes. They will think it’s just a one-off, or that after a few drinks, people get a little jealous. 

You know the truth, and it’s hard for you to fake a smile.

What Narcissism Does to the Narcissist

Narcissism is something the narcissist doesn’t even believe in (when it comes to them). They will also try to avoid calling other people out as narcissists in case the meaning gets twisted up with them too.

In secret though, underneath it all, narcissism creates an unhappy life for the narcissist.

Underneath all the drama, conflict and grandiosity, narcissists are truly vulnerable people.

Imagine having to live day in, day out in that skin. With that ego. With all those ingrained insecurities. With that terrible feeling that you’ll get figured out.

Narcissists have to struggle, surely?

They think they don’t, but the Karma is that they don’t have a perfect life at all. 

They’re never happy. 

Because They Can’t Control

Not having control will turn a narcissist really mean. I mean they will strike out and rage if things aren’t going their way. 

They do this because they’ve got a system in their head. They have allocated certain people certain jobs to do, and all appease the narcissist in some way.

If you stop your job, or quit suddenly – the whole system shuts down. 

Narcissists will punish you by dishing out the silent treatment (designed to make you overly anxious and apologetic). They will rage at you and call you difficult or petulant. 

In reality – they’re worried. 

They don’t like change, unless they’re directly involved in it. 

The Narcissistic Green-Eyed- Monster

Jealousy…

Awakens…

The Narcissist.

I’m not even kidding. 

Things can get nasty if a narcissist feels threatened by the success of another person.

If you’re doing well, they will have a serious problem with it. 

I know what you’re thinking, and we’ve all thought it.

If a narcissist is jealous, nothing is stopping them from doing something for themselves.

Narcissists don’t want to work for something – they want instant gratification. That’s why they take so much pleasure in throwing critical comments your way. 

It’s All They Know

Sad to say, but narcissists truly do know no better. They aren’t used to any other kind of life.

They’ve never been encouraged to explore or be proud of who they are. Their emotions have always been ignored or destroyed altogether (usually by a parent). They have lived trying to get attention by screaming and making themselves seen or heard through material success. 

Narcissists don’t know how to be genuinely kind and loving. They think they do, but they don’t. It isn’t real or what you or I would compare to being authentic. 

Underneath it All: They Hate Themselves

Dig a little.

Nothing? 

Dig a little deeper.

Still nothing?

Go one more time.

There it is!

You’ve uncovered their layer of self-loathing. 

Were you surprised it’s there? It’s hard to think it exists when they act the big, ‘I am’ all the time, and I get that. Narcissists trick people into believing what they want them to believe. 

Notice how it feels to see what’s really going on. Everyday life can be a painful reminder of how much negativity they’re holding inside about themselves. 

Narcissists are bitter people, because they don’t have that inner foundation of self-love within. They cherry-pick those who do, and chip it away.

After all, why should everybody else get to like themselves?

Not fair!

They Lack All Empathy

Narcissists don’t want to relate to you. Whatever you’re going through – they’ve got it tougher. That’s all you’ll hear if you try to talk about your problems!

Narcissists are only interested in subjects that suit them. They only want to hear your issues if they can get something out of it.

Gossip.

News.

Advice.

Whatever it may be. 

So – if you go to them with your thoughts, or if you have a tough day – they won’t listen. 

Narcissists will walk past the homeless and tut, like they’re in their way. 

Their Self-Esteem is Non-Existent

Not having any self-esteem means they have to get it from somewhere.

They treat other people like shops. 

Oh, this one is selling what I want. Except I don’t have any money, so I’m just going to take it for myself. 

Before you know it, your self-esteem is plummeting, and theirs is growing. They say mean things to make you feel bad, and when you feel bad, they get a kick out of it.

Narcissists want to climb above those who have it all by possessing nothing but stolen emotive goods. 

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