As long as you love me only works when the narcissist is getting what they want from you. You have to comply, or the dynamics malfunction.

The moment – the very second you stop caring about the narcissist, you’d better take cover.

Not only does their response create the world’s worst emotional tornado – that tornado is an F5 – and it’s heading straight for you.

So what emotions get whipped up, and what exactly does each one mean?

Well, Alex, I’m glad you asked…

Narcissists Need You

The strength a narcissist needs to deny they need you is off the charts! They will deny and refuse to acknowledge that your presence is what’s keeping them going but…

…It’s all for the wrong reasons.

Narcissists destroy you in order to gain something for themselves. They take your world and crumble it in their hands without a second thought.

The love you feel from them is fragmented and temporary, but it’s enough to keep you caring.

You remain loyal, loving and hopeful.

And narcissists need that from you. If they don’t get it, the worthlessness that lies dormant in their empty souls will awaken.

So… what is about your caring nature that they can’t live without?

Your Care is Their Supply

Everytime you show you care, you are offering the narcissist supply.

Supply to them is emotional sustenance. It’s what keeps them going, and it’s sole design to maintain some form of self-worth. 

Needing supply is the main driving force behind many of their toxic behaviors.

This means you stop caring about yourself every time you put your own life or priorities to the side of the road to make room for theirs. 

And the narcissist?

They love it! They love knowing that you would drop anything and everything for them, and that’s the very part of you they abuse!

Can you imagine the horror of it being withdrawn?!

When It Stops?

The day you wake up and promise yourself that you will no longer care about the narcissist is the day your life is going to substantially alter. 

This is when things get really serious.

You’re choosing you for once in your life. You’re choosing to put your own needs first and, in turn, making huge improvements to both your emotional and physical health. 

What does it mean to apply all this energy and positivity to yourself? 

It means it’s unable to be converted to narcissistic supply.

Instead of pleasing the narcissist, you are healing and enriching you.

What Comes Next

I don’t promise initial warmth, kindness, happiness and joy from the narcissist. In fact, I’d bet you won’t get an ounce.

Thinking about it, why would you?!

You’ve done them dirty and stopped caring – so what on earth do you think they will be happy about?

What comes next is going to be all the ways the narcissist wants you to feel. They know that when you stop caring, doing these things will ignite these emotions in you:

• Fear. They want you to fear what they’re capable of. What they know about you. Making you scared to leave them because you’ve been programmed to believe you can’t live without them.

• Intimidation. Your lack of care directly threatens them, and they only know how to retaliate times one thousand! They aren’t going to appreciate you pulling back, and will bully you into being the old you.

• Emptiness. You’re worthless. Your lack of care doesn’t bother them, because you never meant anything to them in the first place. They don’t want to know you, and often you may hear phrases like, “You’re dead to me now.” 

1. Rage

Narcissists are like volcanoes – full of rage that lays dormant until they feel like unleashing it onto you. 

It can surprise you, and it shocks you. Once you see it, you will always anticipate it. 

When you stop caring about them – it is more than possible to witness their rage attacks.

2. Discard

They’re officially done with you. They aren’t interested in trying to woo you or impress you, not after what you’ve spoken up and discovered. 

You’re of no use to them now you have seen them for who they really are. They can’t manipulate you.

They can’t control what you do or who you see. You don’t need them. You no longer care, so to them – you’re yesterday’s news. 

3. Revenge

It is a possibility that the pot of revenge can be cranked up here. Narcissists don’t like to be given the cold shoulder, and to punish you, they will hatch a plan to get back at you. 

Think of revenge along the lines of:

• Spreading lies about you
• Turning people against you
• Throwing your stuff away before you’ve had a chance to claim it all back
• Finding somebody else and professing their true love for them

3. Hoover

It’s never past a narcissist to attempt to hoover you back. If it’s worked in the past, they probably think it might work again.

Think of the usual ways they hoover you. It could be:

• Showing up at your work to profess their love for you
• Stalking you on social media or in person
• Sending constant texts or making calls to you to try to get to talk to you
• Making promises to change and be the person you want them to be

It’s all a ploy to try and get the control back, and change the narrative that they’re the bad guy. 

One Life

Not to want to sound like the cheesiest person on the planet but; you really do only get one life. 

If being with them was bad enough, withholding your care will ignite a whole new level in their evil streak. 

And as always, it’s you who suffers. You will be the one who falls victim to all of what I have spoken, and there’s no escaping it. 

When you give everything you have to a person who fails to appreciate, acknowledge, or love you in return, you abandon your entire being.

As time goes by, that abandonment will reach into every part of your life. 

You want to fix them. You over-give. You try your hardest to take care of the narcissist.

Not only will you push your well-being to one side, but you will also start to feel as though you don’t deserve to have any kind of well-being.

You simply stop caring.

It might start small.

Skipping lunch.

Staying up late to lose yourself watching TV.

Saying you’re ‘fine’ all the time, even when you’re not.

Ignoring warning signs, like a pain, or feeling unwell.

Then it gets bigger.

Giving up your job or hobbies because they said so.

Stopping seeing friends or family who the narcissist thinks you’re ‘too good for.’

Saying sorry all the time just because their moods dictate your response.

This doesn’t have to be your life.

You’re Shocked to See Where Narcissists Really End Up!

Narcissists just seem to annoyingly have it all, don’t they? 

You might think to yourself, “How do they get away with so much?”

Well, honestly, it’s because they’re experts at playing the game they wrote.

It can all change though, dear reader. And indeed – it does.

Where the narcissist ends up is going to shock you, and make you realize just how one moment can alter everything.

Narcissists: The Perfect Life

It’s the perfect painted picture, isn’t it? Narcissists want to be perfect, and they try very hard to ensure that image is kept up, no matter what.

They will make out like nothing is their fault. They want to be hard workers, so people know just how seriously they take their responsibilities.

They love to honor themselves by providing the best material goods you can think of. They want that nice car, big house, fancy clothes, and the latest phone.

On paper, they have it all. They project the perfect life to the world, so that world sees them as perfect. 

What Do You Think?

Of course, we know they aren’t perfect – far from it, in fact!

There’s a part of some people who are really familiar with narcissists who know the trajectory ahead.

Before I get to that point though, I want you to think of one narcissist that you know. They might be a family member, a friend, somebody you work with, or even your spouse. 

Once you have them locked firmly in your mind, I want you to think about how they are right now.

Are they more impossible than usual? Maybe they have a past of always getting what they want, and just being extremely lucky. 

They have good health. They have great contacts. They live in a nice house that you wish you owned. They don’t seem to rattle many cages, and they’re well respected both personally and professionally. 

It’s all unfair, isn’t it? Especially when you know who they really are.

Without You..

This is the worst part – the part you know and are familiar with…

…Narcissists are nothing without you. They build their entire egotistical empire on making you feel the worst you’ve ever felt, and that’s what causes them to exceed even their own expectations.

But as soon as you throw a spanner in the works – as soon as the dynamics shift in any way, the narcissist’s mask and character begin to crumble.

They realize they cannot function without knowing they can openly abuse you at any moment.

They want it to continue for as long as possible, but they know it can’t because you’ve gone, left, or figured out who they are.

You’ve discovered the truth. 

And That Is Why They Need You

They can’t play their game unless you sign up for it, and when you walk away, the game is officially over. 

You have to remember this, friends, because it’s what is going to get you through your worst days with the narcissist:

They truly need you more than you need them.

You’ve been programmed to believe you need them and cannot survive without them, but that simply isn’t the case. 

The reality is that they can only do what they do because they have an open door to it.

When you shut that door, everything changes.

The Downfall

The downfall is almost immediate but not necessarily obvious to all. 

You’ll notice a withdrawal. The narcissist is temporarily at a loss. Yes, they can move onto their next victim, but what if they have run out of people to manipulate? 

What if there is no charm left in their charm bucket?

It’s easy to notice narcissists look lost when they don’t know how to operate the people around them to their advantage. 

They’ve used up all their options, and now it’s time to watch the demise. 

…Even The Deterioration!

I have had conversations in the past with people I’ve met or know about their narcissistic parent. 

When they were younger, the parent thrived knowing they could power play their children and spouse.

Work was busy and they were always trying to produce ways to make everybody around them feel small.

As they aged, so did their character.

It became harder to manipulate children who were suddenly adults, with more power to hold a thought, opinion, or goal they wanted to achieve. 

They feel lost, and try to claw control wherever they can. Often that can look like lashing out, or trying to triangulate wherever possible.

They play on their age, with phrases like:

I used to be so much fitter than I am now.

I’m getting older. Nobody understands or sees me.

I’m poorly. Nobody helps me.

I wish I could turn the clock back.

It’s really as if they’re playing their own sad violin song, isn’t it? You almost want to roll your eyes because you know they’re playing on their age.

Aging is actually a privilege not everybody gets to experience, and that’s something worth remembering. 

The problem with narcissists is how they use their age like it’s some kind of mental incapacitation. 

They’re still very able to be narcissists. 

They just fool less people.

Going Nowhere: Fast

The narcissist is declining! 

It’s fast-moving – and I have to say that if you think it’s enjoyable – you wouldn’t be the first person with that opinion. 

Finally, the day comes when not everything goes their way. 

People get fed up with them blowing hot and cold.

There’s a shift in how they feel they deserve to be treated.

They understand the correlation between feeling negative and being around the narcissist.

They start to want to achieve goals for themselves and understand the narcissist is the one who holds them back.

Life starts wanting to be lived, and all the while those people are growing into theirs, the narcissists are shrinking.

Narcissistic abuse is only possible when you consciously or subconsciously give yourself up to the narcissist. 

If you start to put yourself first, the narcissist has no choice. 

And no – they don’t like it – but guess what…

…It’s not up to them.

There’s Never a Happy Ending

When it comes to narcissists, they never have a happy ending. They are infamous for becoming more and more impossible in older age.

Their stubbornness becomes almost petulant. 

They crave being able to control the people they once did.

Their grudges are bigger than ever. 

They understand that they are not the person they once were.

Narcissists end up miserable, sad and lonely. They always were, but these emotions become more prominent as they age. 

They never start caring, nor do they regret how they have acted.

It would be your mistake to assume they ever will, or do.

How Do Narcissists Manipulate Their Partners?

Narcissists are happiest when they have a partner they can twist, manipulate and control.

They love to be part of something where everybody else is smaller and less powerful than they are. Their lives then have meaning, just as they feel they should every day.

There are specific ways a narcissist will manipulate their partners, though. As troubling as it may sound, these are textbook ways – and that’s where you need to pay close attention.

If this sounds like your situation, that’s because it likely is.

“My Reality is Fact!”

The reality is that you’re being manipulated by someone who has had much practice. They’ve been exactly where they are now, except with different victims. 

“You’re Nothing!”

Being told how worthless you are does a few things.

For the narcissist, it brings them to a new level of control and manipulation. If you hear something enough times, you will start to believe it. 

You believe it even more when you’re treated that way alongside those words. 

It’s all a tactic, created to destroy your hopes and dreams, your identity, and how you carry yourself each day. 

Where you once stood tall, you now slouch and try to be invisible.

That’s exactly how the narcissist wants you. 

“It’s Your Fault, Not Mine!”

Narcissists project to get whatever they’ve done wrong out of the light. They don’t want their faults or inappropriate actions to be spotted, and so they throw you out there instead.

So everybody looks at you. The narcissist looks at you as if they feel let down by you. 

And you feel that shame, because you take it on. And you take it on because they’ve pushed it so far into you that you have no choice. 

This design is set up to get them off the hook.

Thank God you are there for them to treat you this way – without you – they just might look like the bad guy.

Phew for them!

“…”

That’s right, the good old silent treatment. The way narcissists do this is by completely shutting down and ignoring you. 

If you’ve experienced it, I don’t need to tell you how uncomfortable it is. It induces panic, fear and worry, and like all things narcissists do, it is unnecessary. 

The silent treatment acts to give you nothing at all, so it’s easy for the narcissist to say, “Well, I didn’t say anything horrible. I wasn’t mean,” Then make excuses for them being quiet. 

When you’ve been given the silent treatment, you are left to your own insecure devices.

What did I do wrong?

How can I fix this?

What can I do to make them happy?

I must be a terrible person.

What’s going to happen next?

Do you need this?

No.

Yet they make it so prevalent in your world. 

It isn’t fair. 

“I Must Cause Fallout”

 What is life without a little drama? Actually, it’s quite nice. But then again, I’m speaking as an emotionally healthy person, and not a narcissist. 

The idea that drama is of such greedy interest to the narcissist is one that never fails to shock me. Why would anybody want to be in the middle of so much negativity?

Narcissists do. As people and emotions explode around them, they can act and do what they like and not be seen to be doing anything wrong at all.

Be careful here – narcissists want to pull strings to see a certain dynamic. 

If you’re a part of that, you will suffer. 

“Poor Me…”

The victim mentality of a narcissist can stop the most believing people in their tracks.

It’s all been too much for me.

I try my best.

I don’t know what I do wrong to upset people. 

I wish people would understand me.

These phrases tug at the heartstrings of those who want to give them the benefit of the doubt, and sadly – yes – it works. 

Narcissists always want to look as though they’re being wronged.

This injects:

• Guilt
• Shame
• Self-blame
• Self-loathing
• Insecurity
• Worry
• Anxiety
• Depression

In their partners, and they know this. 

They just don’t care.  

“Bringing You Back, Get Ready!”

Let’s take you back to a time where we were so in love, and everything was perfect!

We are so great, you and me. It was us against the world!

Think about all that passion we had. You’re never going to be able to find that anywhere else.

Oh, the manipulation game is strong with these kinds of phrases. They love getting you at your most vulnerable, reflecting on the distorted nostalgia between you.

It’s enough to make you paint over all the cracks in between, isn’t it? And there were a lot of those. 

What’s manipulative about this is the narcissist’s attempt to invite you to ignore their abuse, and only focus on the good (which was likely to have felt magical!) 

Don’t get sucked into this black hole.

“I Will Tell Everybody!”

Uh-oh. What’s that supposed to mean?

I think you and I both know this is not going to end well with you,

Narcissists will tell whoever listens what a horrible person you are and how you wronged them. They may stretch as far as saying that you are the cheater, you hurt them, you spread lies about them and you’re the manipulative one. 

It’s frustrating for victims, but beyond that, it’s absolutely destructive. 

Suddenly, your reputation is in tatters. It’s all based on the false word of the narcissist, who, by the way, is likely loving seeing your house of bricks fall down while their house of cards remains. 

“Nice, But Not!”

You go out, they act like the perfect partner.

You get home, and they ignore you.

You did this wrong, you did that wrong, you didn’t pay them enough attention, you flirted with that person.

Whatever it is, the charm will switch off. The mask will inevitably slip.

This is where the narcissist has learned not just to manipulate you but also to manipulate everybody else, too. They all think, “What a nice person. They’re such a good couple.”

Also the best one, 

“You’re so lucky to have them as your partner!”

Oh boy, if only they knew the truth, right? 

The truth is, you aren’t lucky. The narcissist is just very clever. They know buttons to press, when to press them, who to press them with, and they are always ready for it. 

You on the other hand then find it even more difficult to convince people of the truth.

This is the sole reason why narcissists manipulate – to make yo