Narcissists won’t and don’t fear you until you start to shut down their manipulation and throw their toxicity out of your life for good.
They will hang around and cause you more pain than you could ever imagine, for as long as you allow it.
But don’t think you are consciously allowing anything, think of it more as traits of yours the narcissist is drawn to.
Now, think about dropping those traits like a hot potato.
Are you in?
Here are 13 things you can do to become the narcissist’s biggest fear.
#1 Stop listening to them
First thing’s first; you’ve got to stop listening to the narcissist if you want real change in your life.
If you want to outgrow their toxicity and start living in a way that brings you joy and to be an unstoppable force, I highly recommend you give up putting their words in your ears.
Listening to a narcissist means you are wide open to everything they have to say, not just about you, but about the whole world around them.
Negativity, criticism, mockery, rules, anger, coercive control; all of it is a danger to you.
The moment you stop, you become your own person, and the narcissist’s biggest fear.
#2 Laugh at their criticism
I don’t know if you already know this, but laughing at a narcissist really unnerves them.
Of course, they’re happy if they’re telling a funny story or joke and want that laughter, but if you are laughing at their criticism of you for example, they know their words are backfiring.
Panic sets in as they don’t see you reacting in the way they want, and that spells trouble for them.
#3 Mock them back
If you’re used to being mocked on a daily basis, you’re probably sick of it. There is a way you can become the narcissist’s biggest fear, and that’s by mocking them back.
I’m not kidding when I say the narcissist won’t know what’s hit them.
You open your mouth and give them a taste of their own medicine, and they will hate you for it, because you’ve actually scared them.
#4 Live your life
The best revenge is always a life that is lived to the max. Do the things the narcissist always told you that you couldn’t.
Travel the world, get the job of your dreams, and show them that no matter what they say to you, it won’t affect you in the slightest.
It truly is the only way you will be able to rise above their abuse.
The best revenge is success…
…And that still is, and always will be my best quote for any victim and survivor of narcissistic abuse.
#5 Go no-contact
It’s not easy going no contact with a narcissist, despite the initial thought that it is.
With no contact, you have to make huge decisions that change everything.
But you know what? Going no contact proves you don’t need them around any more, and shows yourself that you are capable of moving on without them in your life.
And when you’re not around, the narcissist has nobody.
That is a fear unlocked for them.
#6 Pull away
The narcissist senses that you are becoming distant, and this shift in dynamics was both unpredicted and unwanted by them.
They thought they had you under full control, just the way they love it, but you’ve come along and shown them that you don’t need to be bonded in that way.
Becoming distant tells the narcissist that you’re pulling away, and that you no longer need them, which is so scary for them.
#7 Stop revealing things about yourself
The narcissist pulls on what they know about you, and uses it all to control you, trigger you, and scare you.
The best way I can put this is:
Don’t give them anything.
Stop telling the narcissist your secrets, or your back history of relationships. Don’t give away any information that they can twist to weaken you, because trust me, they will.
#8 Get that new job
Is there a dream job out there you want? Have you been told that it’s out of your reach? Why do you believe it?
I know why.
Because the narcissist told you that you aren’t smart enough.
They told you that you aren’t meant for big things, and that you should stay in whatever keeps you the most comfortable.
They fear you doing well, and dare I say, doing even better than them.
#9 Do the things they never wanted for you
I am going way above and beyond the concept of work or jobs now…
…I mean everything.
If you always wanted to travel, what’s stopping you? If you wanted to cut your hair, or grow your hair, or wear pink, or see that friend, or join that club:
Do it all.
I guarantee you that you will miss out on all the beauty life has to offer if you continue to listen to the limiting demands of the narcissist.
If you start to listen to your inner desires, and work to build your dreams into achievable goals, you will scare off the narcissist quicker than you can blink.
So defy them, and free yourself from their control by saying yes to yourself.
#10 Meet somebody healthy and regulated
Meeting somebody who is good for you is the narcissist’s worst nightmare and biggest fear,
namely because they are genuinely worried that the influence on you will be so strong that they will become insignificant, and you will end up leaving them.
A healthy person will have regulated emotions, and will bring out the best in you.
This is the version of you the narcissist has been trying hard to keep under wraps, and hidden.
Letting in good people will create a fear so big, the narcissist will have a hard time hiding their panic!
#11 Do things for yourself
If there was ever anything you wanted to do for yourself, just know that the only person who should be stopping you, is you.
I know the voice of a narcissist can be so demanding and overpowering,
but they know they are good at giving off the kind of vibes that will detract you from enjoying the everyday things you love.
Do them, and let the narcissist fear this new, unstoppable you.
#12 Become independent
Your need to need the narcissist is what keeps thor heart beating.
They thrive knowing you aren’t quite capable enough to make those choices, or pay that bill, or even fix that broken door.
So make the big things become the little things, and build your skills, bank balance, and confidence enough to be able to live without the need to ask them for help.
They will freak out.
#13 Become unafraid
The version of you that is fearless does exist, you just need to dig deep to find them!
Being unafraid means:
- Not being scared to live without the narcissist.
- Not being afraid of their moods.
- Now allowing yourself to feel fear whenever they are close by.
Prove to yourself that you are bigger than any intimidating aspect of the narcissist for real change for you, and real fear for them.
