You finally defeated the narcissist in a valiant attempt to protect and conserve your heart.
Congratulations!
I’m here for all the good things you’re doing to apply some self-care to your life, but there’s a teeny, tiny catch.
As soon as you have defeated them, they’re going to act up. In fact, as soon as you have defeated them, they will start doing these 7 things.
#1 Spread lies about you
The first sign of any defeat will likely spell trouble for you, namely in how the narcissist reacts to the mere mention of your name.
You long to be seen as a good person, after all, you’re probably sitting on a high after defeating their abuse after all this time, but no.
The narcissist will make it their personal mission to take your name and drag it through as much mud as they can.
These lies can be anything from how much of a narcissist you are, to how cold you are, to how abusive you can be, to how you wanted to punish the narcissist by treating them the way you did.
None of it is true, of course, but that won’t stop them from pushing the agenda out there that you’re terrible, and should be avoided.
The lies are always the initial part, but it’s far more than that, isn’t it? It’s all about isolating you and ensuring you are as alone as you can be.
That’s what they want for you, as punishment for daring to go above the narcissist and defeat them in the way you did.
#2 Act the victim
We all know narcissists act the victim wherever they can get away with it.
From pretending they have no idea how a certain argument or fall out came about, to how badly they pretend to wish they could be understood.
The victim card will always be pulled out when they feel they’re being cornered too much, and that’s just how it is.
What you need to understand is how that can affect you. So those times you struggle and can’t even muster the mental energy to smile any more, the narcissist somehow makes it all about them and how pained they are.
It’s frustrating to say the least, but this is a classic narcissistic tactic that they perfect, and always works when it comes to looking like the sad, ‘poor me’ person they are absolutely not.
#3 Move on very quickly
Narcissists can and do move on very quickly.
They don’t really have a choice, because the only way they will get supply is by feeding off other people’s reactions and emotions, and without you, they are left in a narcissistic drought.
Replacing you becomes top of their list of priorities, and so they replace you with a new flame, ready to repeat the same cycle of abuse over and over again with a new face, or fresh blood as I like to call it.
What they want from this is to make you jealous and see what you’re missing out on.
They treat their new supply like royalty so you feel even more unworthy and ask yourself, “Why won’t they treat me that nicely? What’s so bad about me?”
There’s nothing bad about you. This is just what they do to get under your skin and trigger you into more feelings of inadequacies.
Let them move on, I say. Eventually this new person will feel like you feel right now.
#4 Try to love-bomb you all over again
After the defeat of the narcissist, they may want to test your loyalty and strength by love-bombing you one last time.
That might spell trouble for you if you’re ill-prepared, as narcissists tend to come in thick and fast with this kind of trick.
They could promise you love and marriage forevermore.
They may even invite you on the vacation of your dreams to try to patch things up.
Perhaps they try to show you all the love you felt was missing the first time around.
Will you fall for it, or will you see through the game?
I’d like to wish the latter for you, but I wouldn’t put it past them to offer you a rose-tinted version of themselves that they think you will find hard to resist.
After all, that was the person you constantly chased all throughout your time together.
You have a choice here. You can either walk right back into your past and suffer all the consequences of that again, or you can start again, on your own, with the narcissist remaining defeated.
I say opt for viewing the narcissist in your rear-view mirror, and not beside you!
#5 Stalk you
Narcissists want to know what you’re doing all of the time, and if you have defeated them and won, the first thing they’ll want to do is ask why this happened.
Is there somebody else?
Are you trying to sling their name around town?
Paranoia kicks in, and the narcissist will be watching you from afar to check in on your every move.
As far as they’re concerned, if they are keeping tracks on you, they will get to the bottom of it.
Expect your socials to be checked several times a day. Narcissists can even follow you on your way to work, knowing your route.
They might drive by late at night to see if your car – or any other car they don’t know – is on your drive.
Showing up at your gym or fitness class? Changing supermarkets suddenly and bumping into you down the whole grain section?
These are not coincidences. This is a classic case of the narcissist being unable to let you go and wanting to keep hold of the control they had over you.
#6 Refuse to hand over your belongings
Oh, so you want to leave, do you?
If you’re going to do that, you can forget about having your belongings back.
If the narcissist has them in their possession, they will either refuse to hand them over to you, or deny they are with them at all.
So you become stuck between a rock and a hard place, not knowing if you will ever get them back again.
The narcissist just wants to punish you. They’re childish, and always want the last laugh wherever it’s possible to get it.
I would advise you to clear the narcissist of your most precious things before you decide on defeating them in any way.
#7 Turn people against you
The people the narcissist turns against you aren’t really worth anything at all, and that’s how you have to look at it.
If they wanted to believe you and support you, they’d think for themselves.
It is possible that they can be as manipulated as you were once upon a time, but now that ship has sailed for you, it may still be in the harbor for other people.
Ultimately, you have a life to get on with, and if that means saying goodbye to more people than just the narcissist after a defeat, then so be it.
It has to be better than fighting for them to believe you.
In time, they might. Until then, go live.
