Before I proceed, have you all got a safe and protective shield on standby?
I hope so!
Confronting a narcissist is going to involve you putting yourself heavily in the line of fire. It’s dangerous to even speak up to one due to never really knowing how they will react.
But I get it. You want to do it because you believe in justice and speaking up.
The narcissist is all for that – as long as it doesn’t involve them.
When it does…
Well…
You’re going to need some professional advice.
Newsflash: Narcissists Are All Liars
I’m not going to kid around here.
They all lie. They all don’t care that they lie. And if you stumble across one – they will lie to you too.
The simple reason all narcissists lie is because they don’t have a conscience. They dive into their box of lies and dish out the most appropriate for their moment.
If you suffer as a consequence -so what?
They Hate Their Truth
Narcissists do hate their own truth. They can’t stand to admit certain truths about themselves, the world, or what other people think of them. If you so much as try to breathe the truth in their direction, they will be onto you.
Not only that, but the narcissist will see your confrontation as an opportunity to lay down some conflict between you.
They Hate You Confronting Them More
That’s where the real hate comes in.
Not only do you have the sheer audacity to confront them, underneath the confrontation you’re calling them out in full.
You’re embarrassing them.
You’re refusing to be controlled or manipulated.
You’re standing in your own strength.
You’re sure and certain of yourself.
These are all things the narcissist cannot stand to see.
The moment you assert yourself and raise those kinds of vibrations is the exact time the narcissist will decide what’s really next for you.
What Happens When You Confront a Narcissist?
So here we are. You’ve confronted them about their lying.
What can you now expect?
#1 They Deny
The irony of approaching a narcissist for lying and having them deny everything?
Check!
You see, the lying doesn’t just stop with what comes out of their mouth on a day to day basis. Narcissists are actually really defensive people when it comes to others being on the cusp of their truth.
If people so much as sniff a lie, they can and will point the finger at the narcissist and confront. It’s what you have a right to do as an honest person who is searching for some truth.
The narcissist will not like you confronting them, and instead of telling you, “Oh yes, that was me. I do have a habit of lying quite frequently,” they’re going to deny, deny, deny.
#2 They Guilt Trip You
How dare you … confronting them!
Well – that’s the headspace the narcissist will get you into, and frustratingly, it works!
The narcissist will back you into a corner of forced self-reflection.
What were you thinking trying to accuse the narcissist? Don’t you know they’ve had a really rough time lately? They’ve been under a lot of pressure or stress, and your accusations are making it all worse.
In fact… Don’t be surprised if the narcissist senses a migraine coming on…
Anything, and I mean absolutely anything to get you to feel bad about speaking up.
The narcissist wants you to keep quiet about their dishonesty and indiscretions. They just want a quiet, peaceful life…
…Where they can get away with absolutely everything and you don’t have the nerve, courage and eventual desire to question them.
#3 Prepare for Rage
Ah, yes. The impending rage that always seems so inevitable with narcissists.
Confronting anybody who isn’t prepared to either:
Hear the truth
Or have you recognize who they really are,
… is going to result in rage.
Rage that you found them out.
Rage that they can no longer get away with lying because you know them better.
Rage that you have got the direct nerve to then approach them about it all.
Rage that your courage trumps.
It’ll be your fault – no question about that.
But…
The rage will come, and it’s designed to manipulate you back into silence and submission. From that, you have two choices.
You stand your ground.
Or.
You stand back and down.
Which is it to be?
#4 Silence
A classic narcissistic tactic is silence. Now, the silent treatment works in two ways.
Number one, it works to make you feel anxious about your confrontation. What’s to come next? Will they yell and shout and scream? Will they accuse you of being or doing something? Or will they just completely walk out on you and leave you?
When silence comes, rumination enters the building, and that’s what the narcissist wants for you.
To overthink.
To eventually get to the point where you say sorry, rather than them.
#5 Revenge
Narcissists are always looking for ways to claim revenge on people they feel have wronged them.
If they’re clever and quick enough, they will create a smear campaign with your name plastered all over it. Their revenge will be in what they tell others about you, with the hope that they will be believed, and you’ll be discarded en masse.
Not only is that completely destructive for you, it’s also a way for them to project their lying onto you.
They can’t be seen to be the dishonest one, so you are going to take the blame.
And you won’t have a choice.
Their revenge will be so unfair to you, and quite right too. You did nothing wrong. Unfortunately, you aren’t going to find somebody as conniving as the narcissist, so you’re already on a losing streak.
#6 Discard!
When you tell a narcissist that you know they’re lying – they’re likely going to have one choice, and one choice only:
To discard you.
What else is there to do?
You’ve come along and held up a mirror to their face, forcing them to see who they really are. They know their time is up with you. You are not officially of no use to them, and for that reason, you have to go.
The discard here is usually permanent, but it can be reversed, depending on how profusely you apologize and fall back into line.
By the way, I do not recommend doing that!
The lying ways of the narcissist have finally caught up with them, and now you’re left hung out to dry.
It should actually be a good moment for you, because now you get to live the life you deserve!
