Hold your nerve!
The narcissist knows, you know.
They’ve got wind of your knowledge. Maybe it was a look you gave them or an indifferent reaction where they hoped for fireworks.
You know. They begin to panic.
The sweat beads form into a regimented line as they roll down the face of the narcissist.
Now what?!
Interestingly, everything changes. I just hope you’re ready for what’s up ahead…
Narcissists: Happy Until They’re Not
Narcissists love to thrive on admiration from others, even though deep down, they actually hate themselves. It’s well hidden through the manipulation and control of others.
Narcissists are at their happiest when they are the center of attention.
Praise
Adoration
Envy
Love
They want to be there for it all, so much so that their world revolves around making that happen daily.
As long as they can maintain this standard, they are content.
There’s one thing to remember, though: The narcissist’s happiness is fragile, like a box of raw eggs.
It is also built on a toxic foundation of dishonesty and deceit (no shock there, I hear you say).
The moment you start to see through it all, their whole world starts to crumble.
The charm turns to defense. From loving to hostile, all in the blink of an eye.
Why the Change in Attitude?
When a narcissist realizes you’ve figured them out, their attitude will change almost instantly.
Suddenly, they feel exposed and vulnerable, and these are two things they DESPISE feeling.
This realization threatens the image they worked so hard ro build, and convince everybody that it was real. The mask they have worn so effortlessly begins to slip, and they cannot handle it.
- Everything is changes
- Panic sets in
- “What happens next?” they wonder.
Your Knowledge is Your Superpower
Knowing the truth about a narcissist will actually give you a kind of superpower, you just need the cape and mask!
As you start to see their manipulations for what they are, you want to shout it from the rooftops, and I get it, you’ve waited for this for a long time. You finally understand their tactics and their lies, and this new knowledge now allows you to protect yourself from any more of their abuse.
But…
…It also makes you a threat.
A big one.
Above everything else, narcissists fear exposure. They fear losing their control and influence they have over others. As soon as they realize you know their true nature, they’ll stop at nothing to discredit and destroy you.
You are now the enemy.
When a Narcissist Knows You Know – What Happens?
I’ve got the 8 top things that happen as soon as the narcissist knows you know!
#1 Deny! “I Don’t Know What You’re Talking About…”
Their first line of defense the narcissist will always visit, is that of denial.
Oh, they will do what it takes to deny any wrongdoing.
The truth will be twisted, and you will become confused in this whirlwind of gaslighting.
That never happened
You’re imagining things
You seem confused
Gaslighting is a weapon every narcissist on the planet has to hand. They’re so insecure that they can’t bear to see you think your own thoughts. Questioning your reality might just make you change your opinion.
Or rather, have it changed for you.
#2 “It’s Not Me, This is All You!”
Hands up – who has directly experienced blame-shifting?!
Ah, yes. A sea of understanding and knowledgeable hands rise, and I am barely surprised.
The narcissist’s lies and manipulations become your fault all of a sudden.
You’re the one with trust issues
You’re always overreacting
This is typical of you
I knew you’d go down this same route
What exactly are you trying to do here?
Projection is nothing but another favorite tactic of theirs. They will happily accuse you of the very things they’re guilty of doing, and it’s a way to deflect attention from them.
You’re the villain!
#3 The Age-Old Smear Campaign
When the narcissist realizes they can’t manipulate you any longer, they’ll try to smear your name all over town. Believe me when I say, it can get nasty.
They will spread rumors and lies to mark you down and ruin your reputation.
Let me tell you about them…
If only you knew what I know
You think you know them, but…
Anybody who will listen. Anybody.
Why do they do this? Well, they want to isolate you, of course. They are desperate to make it harder for you to share your truth. That way, they get to maintain theirs.
(Which actually isn’t the truth).
#4 Playing Victim
Playing victim is how the narcissist makes you feel guilty.
I can’t believe you would do this to me
After everything I’ve done for you! (This is a classic!)
Narcissists are experts at playing the victim.
The tears will come on, and you will see their weakness spill out.
Woe is me!
#5 The Rage!
Rage is a classic attempt at creating drama and shutting you down quickly.
They’ll lash out in anger, no problems. It’s done to intimidate you, so you go silent, and stop talking about who they really are.
How dare you accuse me!
You’ll regret this!
Who do you think you are!
Retaliation like this can be both overt and covert.
They can absolutely threaten you and spread lies. They may even sabotage a part of your life in revenge.
This is because their goal is to punish you for seeing through their falseness and to make you pay for challenging them in some way.
A big way.
#6 The Discard – “Bye, Bye!”
In some cases, narcissists will simply discard you. They want to get rid of you very quickly. Well, what good are you now, you know?!
If they can’t control you, they have no use for you, and they won’t hesitate to cut you out of their life without so much as a second thought.
And yes, I am all too familiar with how much of a painful experience this is. I see many people in my line of work suffering from this loss (which is actually a gain in disguise).
You still care about them, and that’s understandable, considering what they put you through.
But it’s also a sign that you have been given a chance to regain your power.
The narcissist can no longer manipulate you, so where do they go now?
They move on to their next target.
#7 Hoovering You Back Up
Don’t be surprised if they try to pull you back in after discarding you.
This tactic is known as hoovering, and I know some of you will be aware of how destructive this is in the long run. The narcissist will take pleasure in trying to suck you back into the relationship. Promises of change, declarations of love: they will try it all.
It’s different this time, I swear.
I’ve changed.
I’m a new person now.
That was the old me.
They haven’t changed at all, they just want to regain control.
Don’t fall for it for one second.
#8 False Promises
Narcissists love to make false promises to regain your trust.
I promise, I will go to therapy.
I’ll change, I swear.
These are all empty. They won’t do those things. They just want you to believe they will, so you stay or keep quiet.
Change requires genuine effort and self-awareness – traits that narcissists lack. They’re only interested in maintaining their control and their image.
They don’t care about you.
