Narcissists want an easy life, so they surround themselves with people who make that a reality.
While they love to cause drama, they don’t want you to drag them into it. They don’t want you to uncover who they really are, and all the secret plans that go along with that.
If you do, you automatically become a threat.
Not only that, but successful people are also a threat, so you’d better not achieve too much while you know them otherwise there will be real trouble.
So, what happens when you officially cross the threat threshold? Let’s find out.
It starts so well!
It always does, doesn’t it? The magic of the start of a relationship with a narcissist cannot be compared to anything either real nor sustainable.
Nobody can keep up that level of attention and affection throughout the course of your time with them.
When you first meet them, you are nowhere near a threat. You’re not even close.
You can’t be all the while you’re staring at them like they’re the best thing since sliced bread. But time, time is what makes you that threat.
Let’s look at that for a moment.
Let’s talk threats
Now, you can be a threat and not even realize it, or you can consciously speak up and become a direct threat to the narcissist.
I’d definitely prefer to be the latter, because at least then my eyes would be open to exactly the type of person they are.
First off, let’s talk not realizing being a threat. You just got that job you’ve wanted, which means now you’re actually earning more than the narcissist.
What great news, congrats! There’s just one little problem, and it’s shaped like a toxic human.
That’s right. The narcissist sees your success and realizes what a threat you’ve become to them.
The attention is on you. Everybody sends their best. You’re more financially comfortable than the narcissist, and that is a horrible threat to them.
Not only does it undermine their skills and knowledge of their own job field, it means you get to be more extravagant than they are because, well, you can afford to be.
Then there are those who wake up and realize just the kind of person they’re dealing with. The narcissist! So they speak up.
You’re not who I thought you were.
You are portraying some really narcissistic tendencies.
You keep lying to me, and I notice it.
Why do you feel the need to be so hot and cold with me when I’ve done nothing wrong?
Why can’t you just be happy for people?
Are you that bitter that you can’t just say something positive?
You know these comments will immediately rile the narcissist, but more than that, they will actually open the can of worms that exposes them fully to you.
You’re already hinting that you see them for who they are, so the threat of you has just skyrocketed.
What comes next
Now, this crucial part really depends on how you got to the point where you’re a threat.
If you’re succeeding and you got that promotion, then prepare for the narcissist to try to break your spirit in strong ways.
Really? You got that job? I’m shocked they picked you.
They must see something in you that I don’t.
Who did you have to pay to get the job then?
I don’t think you’ll last five minutes.
You won’t be able to cope with it.
Suddenly, and quite rightly, your bubble burst. That threat of you being a success has been firmly chipped at, and in extreme cases you might even believe them.
You’ll convince yourself that you’re in way over your station, and you hand the offer back to the company.
Victims of narcissist abuse never see themselves for who they are – that real potential.
They just hear words the narcissist spews, and they nod and surrender yet another part of their identity to them. And it really is the saddest thing.
Now, for those of you exposing a narcissist. You’re a different kind of threat, so prepare for the following:
- Rage attacks
- Punishment for getting onto them
- Discard – they no longer want you around now you know the truth
- Denial. You’re the problem, not them!
- Mockery. This leads to gaslighting. Do you even know what you’re talking about?!
All of these revolve around the theme of fear. The narcissist knows you and has seen what you’re capable of not only knowing, but letting onto others, too.
This won’t do! Those rage attacks are designed to intimidate you and make you back off from this detective work you’ve set yourself up for.
Your punishment could be the dreaded smear campaign, where you will no longer be able to have access to your support system because they will side with the narcissist.
Perhaps they will just discard you altogether, after all, what use are you to manipulate and abuse now if you know their game?
Why that change makes you anxious
Change in the dynamics is bound to make you anxious. It’s what narcissists do to throw you off course where you are made to feel lost and almost abandoned.
These kinds of changes follow on from years of being told that you could never survive a day without them, and being isolated from everything and everybody that you know.
You can imagine how terrifying that must be to any victim who has suddenly been left out to dry by the narcissist, as they almost ghost their victim into oblivion.
It’s difficult, I grant you. But here’s the thing. Knowing what to do next is how you survive with grace an dignity.
Knowing what to do next
The first thing I would advise you to do when the narcissist has realized what a threat you are, no matter that threat, is to hold your ground.
Don’t change or make yourself stupid or smaller just to make them happy.
Don’t backtrack or agree with them. You can manage that job. You are clever. You have spotted an abusive thread within the narcissist.
No matter how they treat you, you should never be forced to take any of it back. Facts are facts, and your reality is reality.
The narcissist will try to take you down, but that’s where you need your inner strength more than ever.
Become familiar with the ground under your feet, and don’t let yourself be swept up by more of their lies and control.
Those who are a threat to the narcissist are normally the kinds of people who can lead perfectly happy, healthy and regulated lives without the company of any toxic individual.
The narcissist can’t bear the thought of you thriving without them, so continue to see, feel and hear what’s going on around you and call out their behavior for what it truly is.
If you can do that, you can live in your own authentic world, instead of their manipulative world.
When freedom calls, answer the phone!
