Picture this scenario. You’re hanging out with someone a guy friend, and he suddenly calls you crazy. At first, you feel a little flattered or even excited. Is he being flirty? Are things finally going somewhere between the two of you?
But then, you start doubting the situation. Is he just being an overly cocky jerk with a huge ego? Does he genuinely look down on women and make wild assumptions about ‘crazy people?’
And finally, if a partner, strange, or platonic guy friend calls you crazy, is it a compliment or an insult? Your uncertainty is a natural reaction. Let’s dive into what crazy means and how you can respond if a man calls you that.
Is Crazy a Compliment?
What does a guy calling you crazy mean? Does he like you- or does he think you’re insane? And is he being flirty, or is he just a total douchebag?
Crazy is challenging because the term can signify all of the above. He may like you, he may think you’re insane, he may be being flirty, and he may also be a total douchebag! Talk about a lot to unpack in one person.
Sometimes, guys use the term crazy as a pet name. My crazy girl. My crazy baby. You can usually tell it’s a compliment by his tone of voice and nonverbal body language. For example, is he generally fun-loving? Does he say it kindly or with a big laugh?
But crazy also has deeper, negative implications. In some cases, if a guy calls you crazy, it can imply that he’s judging or demeaning you. Abusers may use this term as a form of gaslighting, particularly when they want to pass blame or avoid taking responsibility.
He’s Being Flirty
Girl, you’re the crazy one!
He may possibly relate to crazy as being sexy, desirable, or frisky. So, in this context, if a guy calls you crazy, he might just be flirting with you.
He Thinks You’re Sexy
If he says something like, you’re absolutely crazy just before, during, or after sex, he’s probably commenting on your sexual behavior. You’ve driven him absolutely wild with desire, and he wants more and more!
He’s Being Defensive or Cruel
You’re crazy, and that idea is crazy. I won’t even entertain listening to it.
Some men use the term ‘crazy’ as a way to put you down. It’s one thing to find fault with your partner.
But if he attacks your moral character by calling you crazy, he may be more abusive or narcissistic than you realize.
He’s being especially dangerous if he calls you crazy and attaches to it a hearty laugh- that’s a sign he’s conceited and doesn’t value you.
He Globally Looks Down on Women
Men have a long history of calling women crazy, and it’s rooted in serious patriarchal oppression. So, no, he might not just be your goofy, dumbstruck friend chasing a good laugh.
He may actually be a sexist guy who demeans women. If you suspect this is the case, consider cutting your ties now. He doesn’t care about your feelings. Good riddance to him!
He Thinks You’re Mentally Unwell
You’re f*cking crazy. You’re acting crazy. You’re talking like a crazy person.
If he says anything along these lines, he doesn’t respect you. That may be a painful truth, but it’s important to take it to heart. If you ignore it, he’ll start treating you even worse.
He’ll pass more blame onto you. And if you lose interest (even if you already have), he’ll likely turn the situation against you.
He Feels Contemptuous Towards You
Contempt refers to having a sense of moral superiority over someone. If a guy calls you crazy, it may mean he thinks he’s above you. This is particularly concerning in serious relationships.
Ideally, you should both value one another inherently. If he feels contempt toward you, his feelings mimic that of disgust and anger. He’s more likely to mistreat you.
He Just Wants to See How You’ll React
Men don’t always have a specific motive when they call women crazy. Sometimes they’re just seeing how it’s going to unfold. Maybe he’s curious about how you’ll perceive him afterward.
Maybe he’s not even aware of his words. He isn’t trying to be right or wrong when he calls you crazy- he’s just saying the first thing that comes to mind (even if it’s ridiculous).
How to Respond When a Guy Calls You Crazy?
So, a guy just called you crazy. What are you supposed to do next? Depending on the context and relationship, crazy means different things.
How to Respond When You Don’t Know His Intentions
Not sure why you were called crazy? If you’re confused, you have a right to know what he meant!
“Hmm. Why did you call me that?” Nothing wrong with getting clarification on the situation. If his intentions were good, he’ll provide you with a reasonable response.
He may even apologize if he suspects he hurts your feelings. This is also a way to test if the guy is a good sport or super sensitive to feedback.
“What exactly do you mean?” It’s normal to feel confused if a partner calls you crazy. It’s also normal to question this response if you’re hearing it from unwanted guys. The only drawback to this question is that he may lie, but that gives you more insight into his true self.
“You called me crazy, and I don’t understand why.” This is one of the best responses because it puts the ball right in his court. You avoid taking the blame and instead force him to reflect on his intentions.
How to Respond If You’re Upset
You’re entitled to your feelings, and it’s important to share them if you feel ashamed, angry, or confused by being called crazy. Here are some simple responses to consider.
“I found that rude. Don’t say it again.” This response is simple and to the point. It’s the perfect balance of asserting how you feel while also setting a reasonable boundary. If he becomes defensive, that’s a significant red flag, and you may need to reevaluate the parameters of your relationship.
“That’s not okay. Use another word.” Words matter when it comes to relationships. If he respects you, he’ll avoid using crazy again in future arguments.
“I know you’re upset, but let’s talk about this rationally”: Sometimes, people say things they later regret during heated moments. But a guy who cares about you should be willing to discuss serious matters without resorting to name-calling or criticism.
How to Respond If He’s Being Flirty?
Do you sense that your guy friend called you crazy because he’s feeling you out? If so, here’s how to get back to him with your own flirty response.
“Do you really want to see me get crazy?” This is a perfect response because you’re playing on his words, and it’s also so ambiguous. He’ll probably be wondering and fantasizing about what you meant for hours!
“It takes one to know one!” If he’s calling you crazy in a flirtatious way, you can respond back with your own fun, witty response. Wait to see how he responds!
“You bet I am!” Sometimes, it’s a great idea to simply roll with the flirting. It’s even better if you can maintain a feisty tone throughout your conversation.
“Isn’t that the whole reason why we’re together?” This subtle question can seriously turn on a guy. It reminds him that you’re well aware of your personality and that you own your wild side!
“Only crazy for you!” If you want to turn his words into something romantic, that’s a sweet way to do it. It affirms your commitment to the relationship and conveys how much you care about your man!
Final Thoughts on Getting Called Crazy
Being called crazy can be positive or negative. Like with most phrases, context certainly matters. So, how should you take and respond when a guy calls you crazy?
If you’re flirting and he says it, it may just be an invitation for a good time. Guys like being goofy, and they also like pushing the envelope.
Once you realize you’re just playing a flirty game with him, you can start focusing on beating him with your witty responses.
That said, crazy is an emotionally-charged word, and many women naturally find it inappropriate or condescending. If you feel offended when a guy calls you crazy, you don’t have to look in the other direction. In fact, doing so may enable his rude behavior.
If you are totally turned upside down by his remark, say something! Don’t bottle in how you feel. Things that “feel” like the fine print can quickly escalate into bigger issues. At the end of the day, a genuine guy will automatically support you and apologize for his behavior.