Take cover – the narcissist is raging again!
As you duck for safety, have you ever really looked into the revenge the narcissist is plotting against you?
The way they prioritize your misery is by cultivating cunning plans to see that you are just as intimidated as you are unhappy.
I want to tell you exactly what to expect when you sense that rage approaching.
With a little preparation, maybe you can find a way to get out – for good!
What To Expect…
The worst part of narcissistic abuse is the constant anticipation. When you’re in a relationship that’s so inconsistent that you start to feel unsafe, that then becomes the primary worry.
The uncertainty will make even the most relaxed person feel anxious.
What mood will they come home in?
Will I get the blame for this or that?
Will they even speak to me today?
I wonder if they will like their dinner?
Is the house clean enough?
Am I happy enough? I don’t want to annoy them or bring them down.
It’s exhausting, isn’t it?
You’ll do anything to avoid the rage, yet somehow, that rage seems to always find you.
Complete Collapse: CHAOS
Things Have The Ability To Get Dark Quickly
I don’t know your situation, but I know that if a narcissist is in charge, it’s not going to be a good one.
Situations vary, and so does the level of danger that you may or may not be in.
Considering all of that, I do need to cover it all.
What You Need
At all times in an abusive relationship, it goes without saying that the following should always be in your mind, or ready to execute when safe to do so.
- An escape plan. If you need a bag ready to go, have it ready and hidden well out of view. If you can’t do that, at least keep your phone, bank cards, and passport safe. You might not feel like taking a vacation, but it’s necessary for ID.
- Evidence. Anything the narcissist has done, written, or sent you that will prove rage or anger in the past or even now should be kept. Photos taken – whatever it takes to give credit to your experience.
After Abuse
Remember – both you and the narcissist are going to be feeling very different emotions post-rage. This is how you both end up staying together and why you must realize those dynamics are toxic.
The Narcissist
This is a powerful time for the narcissist, as the aftermath unfolds and they watch you, the victim, crumble at their rage.
Are you intimidated? You should be?
Are you sad? You should be.
Do you want to just make it all better? Probably.
That’s because the narcissist is waiting for you to fall over yourself trying.
They feel fantastic because of all the supplies they want they’ve got from you.
The Victim
Victims always feel guilty after the narcissist’s rage. They’ve long been conditioned to believe the narcissist’s moods are a consequence of your behavior, but this couldn’t be further from the truth.
You feel guilty because they’re pushing the guilt they should be feeling and dealing with onto you.
Is that fair?
Absolutely not.
But the narcissist knows what to do to keep you there, keep you saying sorry, and keep you constantly feeling like you have to make it up to them.
Understanding The Tangled Web of Narcissistic Personality Disorder
The attacks
Narcissists will attack you. I don’t know what that might look like personally, but you will.
Yes, sometimes they get physical. A lot of the time, it’s shouting or getting into your personal space.
They may throw objects to intimidate you or make you feel as though you will be next.
Narcissists will do anything to appear in charge. It’s where they feel most comfortable, but I can assure you that it makes up for their lack of love for themselves.
If the narcissist you know is wanting revenge, they may resort to shouting at you, or attacking you in some way to ‘keep you in line.’
In truth – you don’t need to be in anybody’s line!
The punishment
Punishment is the main reason why narcissists want to seek revenge. They can’t wait to see your smiling face fall, or to witness you lose what you thought you had.
In a single moment, you can be treated as though there is some kind of toxic authority in your relationship with the narcissist.
In reality, nobody should be in fear of the other, and no one single person should be putting their demands out that way.
Punishment leads to everything else I mention, so prepare!
The verbal abuse
Verbal abuse is so common, and such a cheap way to get revenge.
You’re the worst person.
Nobody likes you.
Who else would want to date or sleep with you?!
You’re so stupid!
You’ll be sorry.
If you leave me, you’ll regret it.
You’ll never amount to anything!
Hear it and know that the reason it’s being said is because the narcissist wants to make you feel terrible. This is usually because you might actually be having a good day.
How dare you!
The smear campaign
Smear campaigns are calculated attempts to drag your name and reputation down. In the end, the narcissist wants you to be isolated and alone, and the one to blame for all you did not do.
Revenge in this style is a classic way for the narcissist to play on their ‘victim poor me’ approach.
People will buy it, but you cannot allow them to downplay your experiences.
If you are the victim of a smear campaign, expect:
- Gossip
- Rumors
- Being called a liar
- Being called a narcissist
- Being accused of being abusive
- Being blamed for things the narcissist did
It’s a frustrating thing to go through, but that’s why the narcissist does it. To purposely attack you after a period of rage that they cannot and will not let go of.
And this is usually after a break up.
The silent treatment
The silent treatment can be dished out whenever the narcissist feels like wanting a little attention alongside punishing you.
Most victims take the bait and ask what they did wrong, or why the narcissist is quiet. It’s playing right into their hands, because they want you to be anxious. They love to see the happiness drain from your face at literally the click of their finger.
Find Yourself a Way to Be Discarded: For Good!
It’s really the only way you can be sure this never happens in your life again.
Getting rid of the narcissist will prevent them from having any power over you at all, especially when it comes to wanting or getting revenge.
Nobody needs to witness or fall victim to narcissistic rage, and you do have a choice.
Use it!
