You meet a person so charming that you can literally feel being swept off your feet, or hypnotized by their wit, gesture and grace.

It’s a perfect act and an act that I can safely say deserves a Golden Globe.

As soon as you feel that charm being placed upon you, I want you to know that you are officially the narcissist’s next victim.

It might not feel like it right away. After all, you’re feeling great, loved, listened to, wanted…

… It won’t last.

What they really want from you is where it all takes a deep, dark twist…

Do You See Yourself As A Victim?

Most won’t until they realize what a mess of their lives narcissists make.

Even then, some people don’t like the term ‘victim,’ as it has less powerful connotations than what they’d like to be described.

Ultimately, in toxic relationships, there will always be a victim, and there will always be an abuser. 

This means the narcissist in your life has you in theirs because they want something from you. You serve some kind of purpose to them, and nothing more. 

What Makes A Victim

Do you struggle to set boundaries? Are you always putting others before you?

Do you just want to see everybody else happy, no matter how sad you are? Are you agreeable? Do you find charm to be a romantic trait? Do you overshare your history and problems?

None of these characteristics make you weak at all, they’re how you’ve evolved to be due to whatever past yours looks like. 

But victims will typically have one or more of the above going for them, and that is more valuable than gold for the narcissist. 

And they will hunt you out pretty quickly.

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The Desire Of The Narcissist

When a narcissist sees something they want, they rarely step down and allow it to pass them by.

If that looks like the opportunity to get what they want from you, their determination will be the very thing that puts you in a problematic place – and them a very, very happy narcissist!

 “What Do You Want From Me?”

Nobody is going to ask the narcissist this question when they first meet – heck – the notion that they are even slightly narcissistic won’t even come into play!

Instead, victims give the narcissist what they really want…

Information

Information is a constant need for the narcissist, but I will work through what it means from start to finish. 

When you first meet, the information needed is extreme. They want to get to know you fast. 

What are you afraid of?

What are your triggers?

What scares you the absolute most?

What was your childhood like?

Did you have many friends?

What do you like to do for fun?

Do you have hobbies?

Anything they can learn about you, they will. And what they do with that information is store it to never be forgotten. 

As long as you are feeding it to them, they are building strong weapons to use against you at a later time. 

They can’t get to you if they don’t know how to. 

Over time, information may change. It can start to include where you’re going, who you’re going with.

What your password to your phone is, and why you are suddenly wanting to sign up to the gym.

They want to know who you work with, and what route you take. Don’t be surprised if they want you both to have a tracker app on your phone that tells you where the other person is at all times.

And be even less surprised if they never have theirs on. 

Think about agencies like the police, or the FBI. Without information, their job is largely useless.

They need locations, people, descriptions, back histories, contact information. They can’t do their job properly and solve a case without collating it all and gaining control of it.

Narcissists work similarly. They cannot gain proper control without information from you.

Knowing everything they need to know, they can start to pull strings, or work out a dynamic, or frame the scene to work in their favor. 

It’s a twisted game, but this kind of information – including your weaknesses – will help them remain dominant. 

Now, let’s dive into supply, and what that entails. 

Sweet Supply

To the narcissist, your supply is so sweet. It’s the best thing ever – the nectar of the soul. They extract it like it’s the syrup from a maple tree, tapping you until you give them what they need…

…To your detriment.

And over time, you know how it goes. The word supply overs all manner of sins, but taking that supply can look like:

Money

If you have it, they will want it. At the very least, they want to be a part of how you spend it, and feel they have a say in how that goes. 

Compliments

If they know you’re the first one to notice something different about them, they will love the expectation of what you tell them.

“You look amazing” “I love your new car!”

“You must be so proud of yourself for getting that promotion!”

All the Ego-boosting ways you can lift them, they will remember. So you will be first on their list the next time they need it.

Intimacy

You’re the one who satisfies them, and they know it’s the best (for now) that they can find.

The love or emotional intimacy behind being intimate won’t exist, and that’s what you’re likely to miss.

But hey, this isn’t about you – you’re the giver, not the taker!

Satisfaction

Emotions can take a darker twist when the narcissist gets off on seeing you upset, fearful, or even crying.

They build the scenario up, line you up with it, and watch you crumble.

They genuinely love to see you upset, and the reason is because something about your sadness resonates with their inner sadness.

They feel better when other people feel how they feel deep down.

Control

No narcissist on this planet hates being in control. It’s where they always want to be every day – on top of the food chain.

They pull the strings, and ensure everybody runs around after them. “You’re the only one I can rely on.”

Imagine what this kind of phrase does to a person whose sole intent is to feel as though they have a purpose.

It will make them hang onto every word, and at the fall of this phrase, they will have been signed up to this dynamic by the narcissist. Very insidious, don’t you think?

What Do Narcissists Fear the Most?

The 20 Biggest Fears Of Narcissists

They don’t look like they fear anything, do they?

Narcissists really do walk around acting as if they are perfect. If you were to ask them what they’re scared of, they’d laugh in your face and tell you to move out of their way.

Well, I’m here to tell you the truth.

Narcissists are petrified of more than you have ever known…

…Until now.

Here, I unlock the 20 biggest fears of narcissists, so you don’t need to embarrass them by asking them what they’re scared of ever again.

When The Narcissist Can’t Sleep At Night

Tick, tock, tick, tock,

3am?!

What’s keeping the narcissist up at night?

It’s likely to be thinking about their fears, as believe it or not, they cross their minds from time to time. 

Those fears remain buried under the guise of the charmer – the person everybody sees when they initially speak to the narcissist. 

Well, I’ve got my shovel, and I am about to dig each fear up.

#1 It’s Expose Time! 

Imagine the look of terror on the narcissist’s face when you expose them. It’ll be brief, sure. If you blink, you miss it.

Because soon enough – that fear will convert into rage – an emotion you’re probably much more familiar with when you think about the narcissist in your life. 

Before that rage, that fear will be evident. The idea of you telling everybody the true character of the narcissist fills them with an impalpable dread. 

It all starts to crumble.

They’ve nowhere to hide, and they cannot fool everybody anymore. At least some people will believe you, and that’s all you’d need to expose them fully. 

So yes – it keeps the narcissist up at night to think you could do such a thing, knowing as soon you do so, their power diminishes. 

#2 Control: Officially Lost

Get ready for the narcissist’s foundation to shake, rattle and roll.

Losing control is last on their list of ideals, but it’s a stark possibility when the victim turns to victor.

Seeing through the narcissism to a person who, underneath it all, is just a small-minded, afraid nobody, makes them more worried than you could imagine. 

If that control goes – what do they have?!

#3 The Truth is Feared

What is the truth?

We all know, don’t we?

We’re dealing with a person, or several people if you’re really unlucky, who aren’t who they say they are.

There is a truth behind the lies, and behind that is the ongoing fear from the narcissist that their lies will be exposed. 

Believe me when I say that the narcissist will do what it takes to silence their victims, but that doesn’t mean the truth will never prevail.

#4 The Ordinary 

Ordinary means what to you? For me, it’s just an average day, with nothing standing out. No one big moment.

Narcissists hate not standing out. They always want to be the center of attention, and if they’re seen as normal, or ordinary, that will be the biggest threat – and fear – to their grandiose personality. 

#5 Being Alone

Imagine having nobody to manipulate. When they need to suck the life out of another – there’s not a soul available. 

Narcissists need people around not just to do this with, but also, those people are needed to influence. 

The absence of others is the absence of validation and supply, and without a push from others for attention, the narcissist won’t fully know how to function.

They fear being alone for that very reason.

#6 Bye Bye, Attention

Invisibility is the true enemy of the narcissist. They need to be the honey, while the bees buzz around them constantly.

Without that noise, there is silence.

And in silence, there will be zero attention.

#7 Others… Happy… Really?

No single soul on the planet has the right to be happy (according to the narcissist). If you’re so happy, what could you possibly be so happy about? 

How dare you!

Your smile is enough to have it wiped right off your face, and the narcissist is going to love doing so.

Passing judgment. Criticizing you. Bringing you down. Triggering you. Disappointing you. Giving you the silent treatment and yelling at you. Whatever it takes. Why? 

Simple! They fear that your happiness will create this brand new version of you that will tolerate the narcissist just that little bit less. 

#8 How Victims Self-Love

Listen, if you’re loving yourself, then you are loving the narcissist less. It’s great for you – and that’s exactly why it isn’t good for them. 

The fear that comes from you loving yourself is that you will decide you’re too good for them – and leave. 

#9 Financial Independence

You’ve got your money sorted, you earn a large buck or two, and there’s nothing they can do about it.

Seeing you take care of your finances so well, there’s little to no chance of them taking it all away from you – leaving you dependent on them. 

Big fear!

#10 “So What?”

Ah, so you’re indifferent, are you?

That’s a big ache in the gut for the narcissist, who thrives on your reactions. If you don’t have any ones to give, consider yourself immune to the narcissist…

…New narcissist fear unlocked!

#11 Brave Enough To Be Accountable

Accountability is a huge fear of the narcissist, who usually ensures that what they’re doing will never be found out.

They don’t want to own up to any wrongdoing – so you can safely tick this as a huge fear of theirs. 

#12 Losing to Legality

If you want to really send shivers down the narcissist’s spine – threaten them with legal action.

It’s the epitome of doing wrong for all to see as well – which only adds to their nightmare!

#13 New Victims: Gone

Just when they thought they had a good victim in you – you up and leave.

Their plans turn to dust, and they become vulnerable all over again, with no supply!

#14 Strong? Good!

Your strength kills narcissists. It acts as such a strong repellent that you would be hard pushed to see any narcissist stick around.

They’re scared of you! What narcissist wants to admit that they’re scared of somebody?!

#15 Being Alone

You can forgive babies for not wanting to be alone – but grown adults? This isn’t about normal loneliness that can really affect people – this is the fear of having no life to suck out of anybody. 

#16 Mirror Mirror On The Wall

Don’t look into it if you’re a narcissist, because we all know – including you – that you are not the fairest of them all!

The biggest fear of a narcissist is doing so, and seeing that ugliness stare back at them. 

#17 “No Thanks, Bye”

Rejection.

Ouch.

A narcissist experienced enough of this as a child, and it is a huge trigger for them; a reminder that they aren’t good enough for somebody. 

#18 Criticism

What do you mean they aren’t perfect?

You cannot tell a narcissist that they have faults! That’s their job to make you feel shitty – not the other way around!

#19 Partners In The Know

Knowing who the narcissist really is means the power shifts from them, to you. 

What does that mean for you? Well, you’re likely to be a person who wants to do bad with their power, but it does mean you no longer get played by them.

They fear this – they fear you having an education in narcissism. You have the power to expose and all them out.

A powerless narcissist is not a happy narcissist. 

#20 Getting Over: Moving On

If you’ve gotten over a narcissist and moved on – you’ve done what they thought you’d never do.

Always expecting you to be around to use and abuse, you’ve finally made your way out of it.

While that’s a moment for real pride, it’s a moment of fear for them.

What do they do now?

8 Silly Mistakes Narcissists Make

Believe it or not, narcissists make mistakes every single day.

Just when you thought you believed the perfect image they portrayed, you’re starting to see through the cracks.

Oh, what fun that is!

Now, to see through those cracks, all you need is a little insight into what really happens when narcissists create huge errors for all to see.

And believe me, they can get very silly!