What Narcissists Really Think When You Ignore Them

The thoughts of a narcissist are going to always present differently to what they show you. 

While it’s all going on inside, they’re wanting to prove that they’re the best at everything.

That being said – what happens when you ignore this kind of ego?

Does it do you any favors, or does it serve the narcissist with a shred of evidence that they’ve been discarded?

What do narcissists really think when you ignore them? Spoiler alert – don’t expect happy responses!

Before You Ask…

I know. Let’s all sit down and take a moment here to breathe in, and breathe out. 

It’s hard to believe.

I know it’s a lot to wrap your head around. 

All this time you had absolutely no idea this could even be possible…

But yes, narcissists think.

Okay, that’s the sarcastic scene set, now onward…

Ignoring The Narcissist

It’s a bold move. I mean, it’s as bold as bold can be. 

Ignoring the narcissist can only be done at your peril. Don’t expect them to swarm around you singing and telling you how happy they feel about it.

If you’re going to ignore them, I would say that it’s going to cost you a little of your wellbeing, and a lot of your energy.

Not to be the kind of person who assumes, but, I needed you to know that truth. 

Narcissists don’t take well to being ignored for the simple fact that in their minds, they’re thinking, how could anybody possibly ignore me?

The sheer audacity alone sends them into overdrive. 

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A Step Further: When Enough is Enough

Then there’s the step ahead of simply, “I’m ignoring you.”

This becomes no contact. It’s what many people choose to do when they have a narcissist causing too many problems for their mental, emotional and physical health. 

No contact means exactly what it says on the tin. It’s how you step away from the drama, and become no part of it.

It’s about protecting you, and possibly any children you have, too. People do it with family members and find that once they do, their life is filled with more peace and less stress.

Narcissists don’t cope very well when people go no contact with them. This move triggers them, and they see it as abandonment – a move deeply feared by them.

This act reinforces the belief the narcissist has that they’re unlovable. It looks bad on them as they have to try to find reasons why you did what you did. (Prepare for blame here!)

When you ignore a narcissist, a multitude of things goes through their minds. 

“How Dare They!”

The most popular reaction, and almost always comes with the initial act of ignoring them.

How dare you!

Solidified by the thought of, “Don’t you know who I am?!”

Well, yes, actually. People do know who you are. That’s why they want to ignore you.

Life is much better when they do, and that’s what the reality is.

It’s only the ego of the narcissist that sits in sheer disbelief. They have such a distorted view of themselves that all they genuinely see is a good person with a kind heart trying their best to forge connections. 

Or… is it that this is what they’ve convinced themselves?

I’ll leave that one with you to ponder over as you sip your coffee!

“After All I Did For You!”

And there it is – the one comment most victims hear when you pluck up the courage to ignore them for whatever (I’m sure good) reason. 

After all I did for you is a direct aim at the person who has chosen to ignore, and to damn them for being so ungrateful.

But when you pick it apart – what has the narcissist done?

Make you miserable? Insecure? Sap your confidence? Isolate you?

What? And you should be thankful for this?

That’s why this phrase is yet another out of sheer spite, and should be taken with a pinch of salt. 

They did nothing for you. 

“I’m Not The Bad Guy. You Are”

You never are the bad guy, are you?!

If you’ve ever ignored a narcissist, you’ll know that ignoring them gives permission to them to pick up their mirror and point it in your direction.

Look what a terrible person you are for ignoring me!

But hey – let’s not talk about why. Why a person ignores a narcissist usually comes with a very good reason.

The snapshot the narcissist wants to take is of you being the bad guy. 

“Where Will I Get My Supply From Now?”

Panic stations, everybody. The narcissist is being ignored, and for that reason, their supply well has run dry.

You can’t even get a drop out of it.

As you continue to withhold, the narcissist starts to look around them, wondering who they can ruin the day of next.

This is, after all, what they need in order to make themselves feel much better. 

You see, without your attention on them, you’re not apologizing profusely. You’re not begging for affection or attention, you’re not depending on them for whatever comes next.

That’s what they need you for: they need you to so they can always be in control. 

Without it, they’re lost. The dynamics fall apart, and they lose their minds. 

“I Need A Plan. I Need Alliances”

Always thinking forward, a narcissist is anticipating your silence to be the start of a breakdown between you.

Due to the high paranoia, they will be thinking of all the things you’re going to say about them to others. 

They’re this.

They’re that.

Narcissists need a plan – and fast. They need people to be on their side, so they sweeten up who they can and have them down as alliances.

It’s all in preparation for a potential fallout between you, and the last thing they want is to be painted as the evil, toxic one.

If they can get in before you and label you instead, then they will absolutely do this with zero conscience.

“I Will Get My Revenge”

The revenge of a narcissist is never going to be pretty. They will take the point I raised before and use it to the max.

Spreading rumors about you.

Telling people you’re the narcissist or abuser.

Telling them you cheated on them.

Disclosing that your moods are unstable.

Professing their undying love for you only for you to deny them of any back.

We all know the reality, we all know what’s going on here.

But your silence is always going to be the very reason they finally can project to the world that you are the one with the problem.