You should never sit in the seat of certainty when it comes to any narcissist.
You will never be there for long, because you were instead destined for confusion.
Narcissists think and act differently, depending on their mood that day. If they feel like it, they will be nice.
If they’re nice, it’ll be because they want something from you.
If they’re not nice, it’s because they need your supply. They like to see you suffer.
Knowing what they really think about you will give you an idea of their true character…
…And it’s not good.
You Think You Know Them?
Nobody ever really knows the narcissist. The only person who knows them is them.
I don’t think it’s ever really wise to assume you know everything there is to know about somebody so toxic.
After all, they love to change the goalposts so much that as soon as you feel you have them pegged, they change and shift the tides to suit themselves.
The same can be said for what they really think about you.
Living Your Best Life, Until…
They come along!
It’s the same with all narcissists. You’re happy until you realize what you’ve gotten yourself into.
Isn’t it a shame to think that the narcissist, somebody who claims to have your best interests at heart, treats you the way they do?
How can somebody who says such loving things never ever prove that love in any healthy way at all?
Underneath Their Act Lies Jealousy
It’s okay to be a little envious in life. It’s a natural response to somebody having what you would love to have.
For example, your friend could have bought themselves a new holiday cabin with a view.
Darn. I would love that. I am so envious you get to go there!
That’s where it ends, though, right?
I mean – you have a choice. You can work hard to earn the money for one. You can ask to stay there if you paid your way for the week.
Narcissists don’t get envious – they rage with jealousy.
They detest all the good in the lives of others and will resent you for what you have.
Is that normal?
Nope!
Is that right?
Absolutely not!
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“Look At You, All Happy. That’ll Have To Stop…”
They hate your happiness. It acts like a plague on them. They want to cut it off as quickly as they can, so they’ll do what it takes to ensure any joy is fleeting.
How dare they smile and have things go their way?!
The confusing part for you is that you think they love you. You automatically think they’ll be happy when you receive good news, but it couldn’t be further from the truth.
Any happiness is bound to come from something or somebody other than them. That’s a major threat. How could you allow that?!
Derailing your happiness can take various forms: mocking you until you stop, criticizing you until you no longer believe in yourself, or shaming you until guilt about your own happiness eats you up.
I could go on forever.
Imagine being around somebody who loathes seeing you content that much.
“I Can Get Away With Anything!”
Forgiveness is an act undertaken by people who can see the bigger picture. They want peace and understand that people make mistakes.
Asking for forgiveness can alter how you view your mistakes if that forgiveness is going to be abused later on.
Those who are genuine in being sorry know they will not repeat what they did to hurt the other person. That’s how it generally goes, right?
Narcissists don’t care. They truly don’t. They will repeatedly offend, time and time again.
They know they’ve got several love-bombing tricks up their sleeves that have proven very efficient so far.
There’s no reason why those things won’t work all over again.
And you know what? All the while you continue to forgive, they will continue to offend.
They Don’t Love You
I know it’s a tough pill to swallow. Knowing you aren’t loved takes a lot of hard work because, for the most part, you feel in complete denial.
Of course, they love me. They tell me they do.
I know they love me. They wouldn’t have taken me on that expensive trip if they didn’t.
You learn the value of love to only be at the currency the narcissist sets.
Love isn’t a currency. It doesn’t ebb or flow. It remains.
I know it’s hard to admit to be true. All that emotional work you put into the relationship. All the ways you were vulnerable and shared your life with them.
I speak truthfully when I tell you it was all a ploy to get you to play their game.
Threatened By Your Success…
If a narcissist sees your success, they’re going to want and need to put a stop to it immediately.
Your success can be compared to a competition you don’t even realize you’re in.
You’re exceeding, and the judges have their eye on you. Only the narcissist is also taking part, and the judges aren’t even looking their way at all.
The anger. The resentment. The envy. It will all spill over the surface.
So, what does the narcissist do? When nobody is watching, they will sabotage what you are making or creating so that you fall down in the competition rankings.
They may even steal what you have and use it for themselves.
That’ll get them noticed!
They can’t stand to see you getting the attention. To them, you don’t deserve happiness because it isn’t something they’re personally gaining for themselves.
What a dangerous and toxic trait to have, right?
Well… welcome to the world of narcissists.
…Pleased When You Fail!
The party poppers would be popping constantly if the narcissist had their way. When you fail, it’s not something they necessarily or overtly laugh about (although that can happen).
Instead, they will quietly smirk in the corner of a darkened room. They don’t want others to see their joy, but that won’t stop them from feeling it.
You’d think somebody who claimed to care about you would be falling over themselves with concern if you are down, sad, failing, or having a terrible day.
Nope.
Narcissists love it. They love seeing you fall because when you do, you land at the bottom of the heap, exactly where the narcissist resides.
Knowing they have company makes them feel better, and seeing your misery or disappointment will ensure a huge grin is plastered all over their faces—difficult to wipe off.
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The 20 Biggest Fears Of Narcissists
They don’t look like they fear anything, do they?
Narcissists really do walk around acting as if they are perfect. If you were to ask them what they’re scared of, they’d laugh in your face and tell you to move out of their way.
Well, I’m here to tell you the truth.
Narcissists are petrified of more than you have ever known…
…Until now.
Here, I unlock the 20 biggest fears of narcissists, so you don’t need to embarrass them by asking them what they’re scared of ever again.
When The Narcissist Can’t Sleep At Night
Tick, tock, tick, tock,
3am?!
What’s keeping the narcissist up at night?
It’s likely to be thinking about their fears, as believe it or not, they cross their minds from time to time.
Those fears remain buried under the guise of the charmer – the person everybody sees when they initially speak to the narcissist.
Well, I’ve got my shovel, and I am about to dig each fear up.
#1 It’s Expose Time!
Imagine the look of terror on the narcissist’s face when you expose them. It’ll be brief, sure. If you blink, you miss it.
Because soon enough – that fear will convert into rage – an emotion you’re probably much more familiar with when you think about the narcissist in your life.
Before that rage, that fear will be evident. The idea of you telling everybody the true character of the narcissist fills them with an impalpable dread.
It all starts to crumble.
They’ve nowhere to hide, and they cannot fool everybody anymore. At least some people will believe you, and that’s all you’d need to expose them fully.
So yes – it keeps the narcissist up at night to think you could do such a thing, knowing as soon you do so, their power diminishes.
#2 Control: Officially Lost
Get ready for the narcissist’s foundation to shake, rattle and roll.
Losing control is last on their list of ideals, but it’s a stark possibility when the victim turns to victor.
Seeing through the narcissism to a person who, underneath it all, is just a small-minded, afraid nobody, makes them more worried than you could imagine.
If that control goes – what do they have?!
#3 The Truth is Feared
What is the truth?
We all know, don’t we?
We’re dealing with a person, or several people if you’re really unlucky, who aren’t who they say they are.
There is a truth behind the lies, and behind that is the ongoing fear from the narcissist that their lies will be exposed.
Believe me when I say that the narcissist will do what it takes to silence their victims, but that doesn’t mean the truth will never prevail.
#4 The Ordinary
Ordinary means what to you? For me, it’s just an average day, with nothing standing out. No one big moment.
Narcissists hate not standing out. They always want to be the center of attention, and if they’re seen as normal, or ordinary, that will be the biggest threat – and fear – to their grandiose personality.
#5 Being Alone
Imagine having nobody to manipulate. When they need to suck the life out of another – there’s not a soul available.
Narcissists need people around not just to do this with, but also, those people are needed to influence.
The absence of others is the absence of validation and supply, and without a push from others for attention, the narcissist won’t fully know how to function.
They fear being alone for that very reason.
#6 Bye Bye, Attention
Invisibility is the true enemy of the narcissist. They need to be the honey, while the bees buzz around them constantly.
Without that noise, there is silence.
And in silence, there will be zero attention.
#7 Others… Happy… Really?
No single soul on the planet has the right to be happy (according to the narcissist). If you’re so happy, what could you possibly be so happy about?
How dare you!
Your smile is enough to have it wiped right off your face, and the narcissist is going to love doing so.
Passing judgment. Criticizing you. Bringing you down. Triggering you. Disappointing you. Giving you the silent treatment and yelling at you. Whatever it takes. Why?
Simple! They fear that your happiness will create this brand new version of you that will tolerate the narcissist just that little bit less.
#8 How Victims Self-Love
Listen, if you’re loving yourself, then you are loving the narcissist less. It’s great for you – and that’s exactly why it isn’t good for them.
The fear that comes from you loving yourself is that you will decide you’re too good for them – and leave.
#9 Financial Independence
You’ve got your money sorted, you earn a large buck or two, and there’s nothing they can do about it.
Seeing you take care of your finances so well, there’s little to no chance of them taking it all away from you – leaving you dependent on them.
Big fear!
#10 “So What?”
Ah, so you’re indifferent, are you?
That’s a big ache in the gut for the narcissist, who thrives on your reactions. If you don’t have any ones to give, consider yourself immune to the narcissist…
…New narcissist fear unlocked!
#11 Brave Enough To Be Accountable
Accountability is a huge fear of the narcissist, who usually ensures that what they’re doing will never be found out.
They don’t want to own up to any wrongdoing – so you can safely tick this as a huge fear of theirs.
#12 Losing to Legality
If you want to really send shivers down the narcissist’s spine – threaten them with legal action.
It’s the epitome of doing wrong for all to see as well – which only adds to their nightmare!
#13 New Victims: Gone
Just when they thought they had a good victim in you – you up and leave.
Their plans turn to dust, and they become vulnerable all over again, with no supply!
#14 Strong? Good!
Your strength kills narcissists. It acts as such a strong repellent that you would be hard pushed to see any narcissist stick around.
They’re scared of you! What narcissist wants to admit that they’re scared of somebody?!
#15 Being Alone
You can forgive babies for not wanting to be alone – but grown adults? This isn’t about normal loneliness that can really affect people – this is the fear of having no life to suck out of anybody.
#16 Mirror Mirror On The Wall
Don’t look into it if you’re a narcissist, because we all know – including you – that you are not the fairest of them all!
The biggest fear of a narcissist is doing so, and seeing that ugliness stare back at them.
#17 “No Thanks, Bye”
Rejection.
Ouch.
A narcissist experienced enough of this as a child, and it is a huge trigger for them; a reminder that they aren’t good enough for somebody.
#18 Criticism
What do you mean they aren’t perfect?
You cannot tell a narcissist that they have faults! That’s their job to make you feel shitty – not the other way around!
#19 Partners In The Know
Knowing who the narcissist really is means the power shifts from them, to you.
What does that mean for you? Well, you’re likely to be a person who wants to do bad with their power, but it does mean you no longer get played by them.
They fear this – they fear you having an education in narcissism. You have the power to expose and all them out.
A powerless narcissist is not a happy narcissist.
#20 Getting Over: Moving On
If you’ve gotten over a narcissist and moved on – you’ve done what they thought you’d never do.
Always expecting you to be around to use and abuse, you’ve finally made your way out of it.
While that’s a moment for real pride, it’s a moment of fear for them.
What do they do now?
