The orchestration of a narcissist cutting you off goes under the radar of every victim until one moment that changes everything.
No narcissist just vanishes. Right before they cut you off completely, they will play out their final card of toxicity that leaves no room for make-up.
Burning bridges means they plan on moving on and never looking back.
Here is what the narcissist will do to you before they cut you off completely.
#1 The calm before the storm
When everything feels normal, even calm, never think for a moment that it’s how it will always be.
The one thing about narcissistic abuse is that the mood never stays the same for long, and so any quiet will often be the preface to chaos.
The calm before the storm that you feel may feel unsettling, and that’s because narcissists often use that calm to throw you off the latest scent.
They will never tell you they’re going to cut you off, so luring you into a false sense of security is their way of preparing you for what’s next.
#2 You think they love you
I know. It’s the worst part of it all. Before you’re cut off, you assume the love is there, and even after they’ve cut you off, you still think they must love you but are obviously afraid or confused.
When you make excuses for the narcissist ,you’re leaving out all the real reasons why they behave the way they do, and at times it might be because you just don’t want to admit reality.
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Trust me as a professional when I tell you that they don’t love you. They told you they do because you offered them something in return that they couldn’t resist.
Cutting you off isn’t love. It’s a weakness, and it’s pathetic. It’s the height of emotional immaturity.
#3 The proof they never cared
It’s got to be, hasn’t it? If the narcissist cared, they wouldn’t cut you off.
When healthy people wish to end a relationship, they do it the proper way. There’s usually an admission.
It’s not working, or they don’t feel the same any more. But with narcissists, they don’t want to get into all of that.
They can’t stand the idea of having a heart to heart with you, so they step firmly back and decide what the next best thing would be.
Cutting you off and walking away without a single care in the world has to mean something to you on the receiving end, mustn’t it?
It’s got to be the wake up call and confirmation you always needed.
As much as the sting attached to it can hurt, the fact that they never loved you or cared about you is proof of how they throw what they can your way to make you feel bad.
They never cared, and this is the biggest sign ever of that. But what happens right before they cut you off? Will you get a warning that it’s about to happen?
The narcissist wouldn’t be doing their job properly if they gave you a heads up first.
#4 The final insult
This was all your fault.
You made me do this.
You’re the reason this could never work.
You aren’t ready for a relationship.
All the things the narcissist secretly thinks about themselves pours out and points to you, like you are the one at fault.
You’re not.
The narcissist will blame you for the breakdown of the relationship because it’s far easier than admitting the truth:
That they are the ones who caused this, from start to finish.
It’s the final insult to any person who has worked hard to make their relationship with the narcissist work.
They’ve tried everything, to no avail, and suddenly they’ve got to take this weight on, too?
His only saving grace is that it’s ending, regardless of how. It’s the only chance you’ll get to realize your love came with a price to pay, but that you can heal from the cost.
#5 Blaming you: what it does to the narcissist
The narcissist will blame you for everything right before they cut you off completely.
I look at it as the fact that they want to leave, but they don’t want to look like the bad guy. To make it easier on them, and their reputation, they blame you for the end of the relationship.
I’m leaving because I can’t stand your neediness another day loner.
I’ve tried all I can, but you just don’t listen.
You didn’t want to be what this relationship needed.
I need to love you from afar.
You’ve caused me too much pain.
I find you controlling and moody.
Do you see how you could literally pin all these points on the narcissist?
You are the one to blame, and you won’t likely even have a chance to explain yourself, because the narcissist will press that block button as soon as they’ve pressed send.
For the narcissist, they’re laughing. They continue their act of denial, proving to you that they never should have been trusted with a chance to love somebody normally.
It gives them a great opportunity to tell the world how cruel you are, and that you cut them off, or they were forced to leave for their own ‘wellbeing.’
It doesn’t get much more messed up than this.
#6 What their blame does to you
Needless to say, you lose out big time when the narcissist decides to blame you for everything they did wrong.
You are left picking up pieces that don’t belong to you, while they’ve moved on with the next chapter of their lives.
I am even willing to say that they won’t give you a second thought, which is why victims tend to fall into such dark places during times like these.
You carry it with you, and the feeling coincides with all the ways the narcissist made you feel; low, with a lack of confidence in yourself and your beliefs and experiences.
You have been gaslighted so often that you fall into the trap of thinking it was all down to you.
Their blame is not warranted, nor is it true to the situation. If only there was a way to overcome this all.
Lucky for you, there is. But it takes some doing.
#7 Learning this is all part of their game
The game and aim of each narcissist is to destroy as much as they can of what is around them without taking on a single element of blame for it all.
They want to ruin your life. They want to use you and drag you into their dramas. And right before they cut you off, they will tell you that it was all you.
If you choose to believe them, you choose to buy into and believe their lies.
If you choose to ignore them, you’re choosing yourself. You’re choosing to heal and not make their personality faults your problem.
I’d say that was a wise choice.
