Yay for you! You have good news to share with the people you love!
Who’s ready to listen?
Ah yes… they are, they are, and they are.
Wait… Somebody is missing.
Oh, right! My bad.
The narcissist is nowhere to be seen.
You go to pull them into the crowd, and they throw you a look. They don’t want to be there, but they’ll paint a smile on, for everybody else.
Your happy announcement is going to be absorbed and lapped up by all those who love you. The narcissist isn’t one of those people.
They hate your news.
Narcissists: Good News Killers
I have a spoiler alert for you:
The narcissist is not going to be your friend when you share your good news.
They are good news killers and they have no problem in maiming yours simply because it isn’t them sharing news about themselves.
If you came to the narcissist with an achievement, or a job offer, you’re going to see a side to them that is meant to purposely rattle or deflate you.
Like a balloon being let go before it’s tied up, you’ll fly around the room until you collapse on the floor, with nothing left.
When Good News Meets Narcissism
The power the narcissist can have over you when they crop dust their negativity can be really overwhelming. It’s enough to drown you in your own good news.
You started the day off by throwing your hands in the air with joy, and now it feels like you’re sinking in quicksand.
How do they do it?
Good news hits a narcissist like a freight train.
Imagine you’ve just received a promotion at work, or maybe you finally perfected a recipe you’ve been trying for ages.
You’re bubbling with excitement and can’t wait to tell someone.
Enter the narcissist!
First mistake – and a huge one at that!
A narcissist essentially acts as a black hole of neediness and validation, and your good news? It’s nothing but a threat to their universe.
Don’t get me wrong here, initially, you might see a flicker of interest in their eyes. They’re thinking about what to say to you as they watch you, waiting for a reply.
It’s almost an awkward silence, as you want and hope them to match your happy energy with their own.
Can I just remind you at this point – you’re asking a narcissist to be happy.
Second mistake!
Joy or Jealousy – The Reaction in Real Time
Narcissists plan their revenge on your good news in real time. Once you realize what’s going on, it can almost be funny. I know that sounds incredible, but it’s true.
Finding humor in the narcissist’s response to your good news will immediately give you your power back.
Let’s see what you can expect from them:
#1 They Dismiss You
It’s not uncommon for a narcissist to see your happy face, and return it with a, “So?”
I mean that literally, too.Narcissists can look at you and just totally dismiss you. Their cold hearts are disinterested in your good news, but very interested in making you feel like crap.
The dismissal received by a narcissist means one thing:
It means they’re very quick to want to burst your bubble, because you don’t deserve good things.
The idea is that they should be the center of attention. Sharing your good news seems to them like stealing their attention.
Give it back, already!*
(*Don’t actually give it back)
#2 They Have Bigger News
“Hey, you think your news is great, wait until you hear mine!”
Oh no, what now. Did you get a new car? Are you going to go on that all-inclusive holiday you’ve been telling us about all year?
Whatever it is, the narcissist is going to let you know at that exact time because, why not? If you have good news, so do they!
Like a true poker player, they will see your news, and raise you their own.
You find yourself swimming in a sea of unimportance once more – which is the narcissist’s entire aim.
#3 “I Don’t Feel Well…”
Oh dear. Poor little narcissist has been overcome with a virus. It hit so suddenly, neither of you had any real time to even see it coming.
Except, well, the narcissist saw it coming, because it’s a trick to get you to suddenly pay them attention.
Narcissists are never sick when they say they are. It’s generated to provide you with the request to serve them and support them.
Forget your news!
#4 Indifference
Uh huh.
Okay.
Yeah.
Sure.
The narcissist won’t even stop to turn to you and listen as you talk. They think that if they carry on as normal, that you will see your news as nothing special.
Maybe I overestimated how good this news was?
It’s obviously nothing special if I didn’t even get a “congratulations.”
No.
The narcissist is purposely acting like what you’re saying isn’t big or positive, or most of all, important to you.
This makes you feel just as unimportant.
Indifference is painful. If you look hard enough though, it’s how you see their jealousy seeping through.
#5 Criticism… Believe it or Not!
Oh, wow. You actually got that job? Are you sure they read the right application?
Who did you pay for that, then?
Ha! Let’s see how long that lasts.
The criticism can come, and it will likely be in the form of jokes. That doesn’t mean they can be downright mean to you:
You’re not good enough for that.
Do you honestly think you’ve got the intelligence even to hear yourself right now?
It’s all a design intended to invalidate you completely.
Narcissists throw critical comments your way so they don’t have to see you looking happy for a second longer.
They can’t stand seeing you happy.
Criticism is how they can literally stop that joyous flow in its tracks.
Good News, Bad Vibes
With your good news, comes their bad vibes.
The bad vibes are started by an emotion you spark with your ‘should-be-happy’- news:
Jealousy.
As indicated above, any narcissist will react in all ways negatively because they’re jealous of you.
Things are happening for you, and excitement is oozing from your bones.
Knowing that they have nothing good going on is going to make them feel like they’re missing out, and they hate missing out. As a result, bringing you down so you no longer feel happy is the first step in feeling better about themselves.
It’s the oldest trick in the book, and if you let them, those bad vibes will rain on your parade.
With all you’ve learned, you can stop that rain!
