Sing it with me:
I am a narcissist and I love your attention.
Supplying me with your energy is too good to mention.
In a nutshell, am I right? They love what you give them, as long as it’s everything they want. What they don’t want is BOREDOM. The moment you fake interest, or give it up entirely, the narcissist falls apart.
Emotionally, they’re destroyed.
If you ever wanted to know why your acting bored does this, you’ve come to the right place.
What is boredom?
Don’t try to ask a narcissist this question. They will tell you they are far too busy and important to be bored!
They think boredom is only for people who refuse to do anything fun or interesting with their lives.
You’re lazy, that’s your problem.
You want to get a hobby!
I work too much to even contemplate what boredom means.
In other words, the narcissist wants you to change, yet will criticize you if or when you try to.
They don’t see why you should be sitting around bored when there’s so much to do, but the second you do those things, they will be wrong anyway.
You can’t win!
Instead of trying, there is the option of becoming bored, or at the very least, acting so.
This will trigger them like nothing else, trust me!
Disinterest equals just that
That’s exactly what boredom is; disinterest. And you can show that in how you don’t like a TV show, or how you’re having a slow day where boredom has gotten the better of you.
But what about acting bored around the narcissist in particular? What about that concept will destroy them emotionally?
This is where I want you to take a step back and recall just who you’re dealing with.
These are the kinds of characters whose personalities rule the roost. They think they’re indispensable.
They think they are better than literally everybody else. They also assume to know everything, and will cut you down the minute you try to overpower them with your own knowledge or skill set.
Disinterest means you are not buying into any of that.
The narcissist’s worst nightmare
When you check out, you unlock the narcissist’s worst nightmare. For them, everything they dread starts to happen.
Where there was once a reaction from you, now sits silence or indifference.
Where you once tried and tried to encourage them to want to do something with you at the weekend, you’re now happy to either do nothing, or go do something with a friend.
Where you once asked and asked about future plans and any desire to marry or have kids, you’ve switched off entirely.
You’ve grown out and away from what you’ve known to be a relationship where they dangle the carrot, and you spend each day chasing it.
It’s boring. It’s become about how far you can run, rather than catching a nibble.
And now – you’ve been flagged by the narcissist as somebody who has been enlightened. And that light has converted into ‘I couldn’t care less.’
Destroying them!
Emotionally, the narcissist will start to panic. The sheer scale of your act will send them into a frenzy, but that shouldn’t make you backtrack and stop what you’re doing. If anything, you need to carry on.
Boredom can look like:
- Sighing every time they begin a ‘woe is me’ story.
- Asking them to repeat something as if you weren’t ‘listening properly.’
- Stopping them as they start conflict by just saying how boring it is that they’re even trying.
- Saying no when they attempt to arrange time together, saying you find it dull.
- Holding back on any affection you usually are keen to offer.
I ask you to read that little list a few times, and add anything that may be relevant to you in your own relationship.
I ask that because, come on, can you even imagine?? It would throw them off immediately!
“Who are you and what have you done with the person I’ve been abusing?!”
Good for you
It’s about time, right? I mean, you’ve waited so long to get under their skin, if only you knew it was this easy!
Being disinterested works a treat, I mean, think about it. If you’d acted disinterested on that first night you’d met, you’d not have gotten a fraction of the attention you got from them, and you most certainly wouldn’t have started a relationship.
The narcissist is reliant on your attention. They gauge the success and longevity of your connection. If it never existed, neither would the both of you.
And so you fast forward to a time where you want that change. And you get it through your own actions.
No more. I will act bored around them from now on.
And you watch them crumble.
Ways the narcissist feels destroyed
- They will discard you almost immediately the moment you start acting bored.
- They will panic and think that you’re abandoning them.
- They will source a new form of supply in another person, if they haven’t got one lined up already.
- They may get angry at you for changing who you are around them.
- They’ll feel confused that this is an approach they didn’t see coming.
- They will hate that you’ve gained some kind of control over the relationship.
- They will realize that you’re no longer a person to be messed with.
- The perfect illusion of themselves they built up will crash down.
- Their games have been discovered, and you were smart enough to notice them.
What emotionally destroyed looks like
The best part! Of course, they will walk around with a dented pride as you take over the dynamics. They almost look lost, like little sheep taken to slaughter.
They’re used to playing out the narrative to suit emotions they’re aware of and emotions they know they can handle.
That’s why they avoid anything which will make them feel marginally uncomfortable.
Expect to see:
- Rage
- Silence
- Withdrawal
- Victimhood
- Seeking reassurance (desperately)
- Ruminating obsessively
- Trying to form some kind of alliance
- Smearing your name and making you out to be the bad guy
- Questioning their own identity.
That last point is important, and it’s one you won’t really see in public. If a narcissist is destroyed emotionally, they will question themselves similarly to how you’ve been questioning yourself all this time.
Am I as strong as I thought I was?
Who am I without this dynamic?
I feel like my world is collapsing around me.
Nothing will stay the same now.
My ego has been blown.
People will start to suspect..
What do I do now?
This wasn’t the plan.
It’s about time the tables were turned, right? Isn’t it overdue that the narcissist would ask themselves these questions, even if you’ll never get around to knowing they have for sure.
Where revenge is possible, it will be tried. If you have any common sense, you’ll keep up the act of being bored around them.
It will ultimately serve to drive them away in the end, and you will be able to feel free once and for all.
You earned that right, trust me.
