What Happens When 2 Narcissists Date?

So, 2 narcissists started dating…

…No, it’s not the start of a terrible joke, although if the shoe fits…

I can compare 2 huge, entitled egos starting out in a relationship to 2 tornadoes merging together to form one giant supercell.

Sounds intense? It is intense, but oddly not as destructive as you might think.

You get two people together who love attention, drama and the spotlight as much as each other – expect fireworks. Expect trouble and drama and lots of success. 

Above all – expect constant competitiveness.

When 2 narcissists collide, you’re going to want to take cover, and I’m about to tell you exactly why.

The Narcissistic Personality Trait

Let’s start with the most obvious, shall we?

Narcissists have an inflated sense of self. It’s so inflated actually, that it’s at constant risk of bursting. 

They have a majorly intense need for praise. They need admiration like you or I need air in our lungs. 

They’re, of course, more important than absolutely anybody else. If you think the average narcissistic is going to feel sorry for that terrible thing you’re going through – you’re severely mistaken. 

Narcissists are mostly drawn to people who are not narcissistic. It’s those kinds of people who can be manipulated the most. 

Narcissists will pluck out their victims – the ones who seem like they will be able to give them what they need the most. 

The ones with the most available supply.

Double Trouble: The Chaotic Dynamics of Two Narcissists in Love

Let’s walk through the dynamics, because they are really predictable stages:

Initial Instant Attraction – Imagine the power of two people who are so charming coming together initially? It’s like a thousand light bulbs all going on at the same time. 

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This instant attraction is strong and passionate. It doesn’t have any room to be dim, not when both egos are so big and so closely involved with each other. Expect good fireworks at the start.

Admiration Both Ways – Admiration does indeed, go both ways for the narcissists who are involved. I stroke your hair, you stroke mine. I tell you how fabulous you are, you tell me how fabulous I am. 

It works. Both people get what they want, and they love every second of it. 

Lots of Energy – With passion comes energy. There is lots of it buzzing around both narcissists as they fight for first place. They want to come across as the best, most rehearsed version of themselves. 

Clash of Egos

The shine can sometimes wear off – what now?

Well, eventually, the 2 narcissists are going to realize that they have the same extreme needs as each other. With both fiercely unable to fulfill the role of caretaker, they can start to clash.

I need you to listen to me and pay me lots of attention.

No! I need you to listen to me and pay ME lots of attention!

I’m going to shout at you now!

I’M GOING TO SHOUT LOUDER!

You simply cannot have a better job than me!

No! You cannot have a better job than ME!

Oh, believe me when I say, this could go on, and on, and on. 

And it does where 2 narcissists are involved.

The egos are wholly out of this world, and they will not compromise for anything.

If this clash isn’t happening, narcissists actually…. Are you ready for it….

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….Get along very well. 

I know! Crazy!

The Result: Intermittent Power Struggle

In a relationship with a narcissist where the other person is not a narcissist, there’s no need for a power struggle. One person is the egotistical fragile-minded abuser. The other is the keen-to-please, ‘I’ll take anything you’ve got when it comes to affection’ empath.

This dynamic works, because it involves both participants needing something the other can provide (albeit toxically). 

When 2 narcissists date, the power struggle can go from mild, to moderate, to high. Luckily for them, they’re empty enough to carry on regardless. 

Expect To See:

So… what can you expect to see if you witness 2 narcissists dating. Well, you’d better grab your popcorn because it’s going to be one hell of a movie. 

Fireworks

Those fireworks I talked about earlier are going to be those initial sparks that bring the narcissists together. Each person is going to be addicted to charm, and well know how charming narcissists are in the beginning. 

Fireworks can come as a result of two people feeling that strong, gravitational pull to each other. The unstoppable, insatiable need to feel pleased. They kind of work well in that sense. 

Passion

Passion is always afoot, and it’s driven home because the alternative would be long-term intimacy. This is a no-no for both parties (remember, narcissists hate intimacy).

What then happens is both narcissists settling happily for empty sex. Yes, it’s passionate and both are satisfied, but they make the most of it. What happens after is normal life again, and neither has the attachment to want to ‘talk’ or ‘be emotionally close.’ 

Narcissists don’t know how to create anything loving or lasting, so they settle for what they both know and feel comfortable doing.

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Goals

Narcissists won’t look to the other like they’re going crazy for having overly inflated dreams. In fact, in most relationships where both people are narcissists, they relish in having and achieving goals. 

They won’t see the other person’s goals as strange or even selfish. Instead they will work hard at theirs, and the other person will do the same.

They will even have a strange way of boosting each other along the way. 

Competition

Narcissists do get competitive. They know what they want and will stop at nothing to achieve it. 

One thing to think about here is how shallow narcissists are. Competitiveness can be very fleeting; those fragments of time where one has to outdo the other, but it works both ways. 

As much as the 2 can get along, they can also butt heads. This is when you’ll notice one accusing the other of the very things they do or say. 

Both will use their competitive streak to want to maintain the perfect image to the outside world. They will do all the lovely holidays and weekends away, and show off their connected life to the world.

In return, they’ll receive praise and compliments, and how amazing they are together. It kind of does the narcissists a favor to stick together.

One phrase really springs to mind when I think of 2 narcissists dating:

Keeping up appearances.

They absolutely love being the talk of the town, unraveling their fantasies for all to comment on, like and love. 

2 narcissists dating – it really is a power dynamic. 

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