If you are at a point where a narcissist is unable to manipulate you any more, I want to high five and congratulate you.
You’ve mastered the art of rising above a whole heap of abuse, and that should never be ignored or dismissed.
You might be wondering what happens next, though. You’d be right to wonder, because it might not be the smooth sailing you’d hope it’d be right away.
Here is what happens after a narcissist can’t manipulate you any more.
#1 They’ve been used to manipulating you
For a long time, the way the narcissist manipulated you worked. You met them, everything felt great, then one day, something shifted.
That change made you reassess your relationship, and think about the bigger picture.
Every time they pushed you, you folded into it. They made hints, and you adjusted your expectations or character accordingly.
If they were in a bad mood, you were the first person to fall into the problem to try to fix it.
It felt like everything was on you, and if you didn’t comply, the problems would get bigger and bigger.
#2 All this time…
While you were busy thinking you were being understanding, the narcissist is busy making you see what isn’t there.
They want to get you thinking that you’re with a nice person who understands you and wants a healthy relationship, but they’ve fooled you.
That’s not because you’re stupid, but because you see the best in people. You give others the benefit of the doubt, and you choose love over hate.
The narcissist knows you well, because they’ve trained themselves to seek out people-pleasers who are patient and compassionate.
The loving side of you hits them hard, and they know that eventually ,they’ll be able to change whatever dynamic they want to suit their agenda.
As soon as you become somebody who the narcissist can no longer manipulate and mess with…
…Everything changes.
#3 When a narcissist can’t manipulate you any more
Honestly?
You’ll see something break, and it won’t be in you. Look at the narcissist, and they will be crumbling before your eyes.
When you can no longer manipulate a narcissist, the first thing you will notice alongside your brand new sense of empowerment, is the narcissist panicking.
They do well to hide their fear on the day to day, but when you change how you present yourself, they struggle to hide the fear that rises up.
So, what can make you non-manipulative.
#4 What you’ll notice
I think the first thing that you will notice is how the narcissist’s behavior escalates.
The anger becomes sharper than you’ve ever seen, and that’s because they’re genuinely raging that you have become somebody with powers to be unstoppable.
For you, that might start to increase levels of guilt. Victims who are cornered this way feel guilty for not people-pleasing any longer.
This is a way for the narcissist to try to convince you to revert back into the person you were before this, and see this step as a moment you were going a little crazy.
The bottom line? The narcissist will punish you for growing and discovering your voice.
They will become cold and distant, and the mask you will have seen firmly gripped to their face will slip…
…Revealing who the narcissist really is.
#5 The urge to be anchored by their guilt attack
Let’s go back to the guilt, because it really can be underestimated by victims.
The narcissist will call upon you to explain yourself. That can result in overexplaining, and in those circumstances, backtracking and apologizing are common.
Don’t let that be you.
I know I make it sound simple, but if you are already in the position where you aren’t a doormat any longer, you can’t undo that. This is your reality, and you’re living it in detail.
The narcissist will try to gaslight you, but that’s where you have to dig your heels in and know that your awakening wasn’t accidental.
#6 Standing tall and defiant
I think it’s safe to say that the hardest part of all of this is how the victim – perhaps you in this instance – remains steadfast.
Knowing that you can hold your ground isn’t that same as applying that to the situation.
Don’t react to whatever the narcissist throws your way. Don’t defend yourself.
Don’t move your boundaries to accommodate their discomfort. The whole reason they don’t feel comfortable is because you’ve decided enough is enough.
Your silence will become your strength if you allow it, and with that, you can stay in your brand new, empowering lane of not being a person who can be manipulated.
You’ve spent too much time there to even contemplate going back again.
#7 Understanding manipulation moving forward
The choice is yours. Go back to the narcissist after falling into their trap, or using this opportunity as a moment that changes your life forever.
Understanding how manipulation works will indeed ease your pain in the future. Will it make you bulletproof? With hope.
The real hope is that you can spot the red flags in any future people you meet, and learn that charm doesn’t equate to a kind, honest persona.
At first, when things go so well between you and the person you realistically barely know, ask yourself if it’s too good to be true.
If it is, then you know that you’re getting tangled up with a toxic game once more.
The hope really for you is that you won’t even get that far.
Once you see those patterns, and understand the cycle of abuse, you can use your knowledge to step away from any risk of getting sucked into it ever again.
It’s addictive because you crave the highs; tolerating the lows in the process.
The freedom of seeing it all is that you cannot switch off to it. It’s not something you can erase from your mind and memory, and that’s the kind of power many people would love to have.
#8 Becoming untouchable
Not being able to be manipulated any longer means you are untouchable. You are somebody who is not emotionally tied in with a narcissist, nor are you mentally ruminating how to please them from one day to the next.
The peace really begins when you get to that point. The best part is that the narcissist hasn’t changed at all.
Nothing they did was any different, but it was you who had your awakening.
You won’t be popular with any narcissist, but in actual fact, that’s a good thing.
That means you have developed a repellent that will keep all toxic people at bay, because you’ve seen behind the mask, and you know how that person is able and willing to play a game that will destroy both you and your inner peace.
The untouchable you will ensure that you never have to be dragged into their poisonous life again.
After you’ve become aware that the narcissist can’t manipulate you, you hold the key to your freedom. You hold the key to your future.
You hold the key to your wellbeing.
And that is priceless.
