What Does It Mean When He Calls Me Instead of Texting?

Last Updated on November 26, 2021 by Alexander Burgemeester

When you first start dating someone, everything feels magical. This is especially true when both parties are equally interested, as it’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of everything.

This includes non-stop texting to check in with each other to see how your days went. These days, it’s pretty normal to have entire conversations with people without ever having to pick up the phone and make an actual call. 

So if you’ve been texting this entire time, it can feel pretty shocking to receive an actual phone call from him.

You may be wondering, “What does it mean when he calls me instead of texting?” Is it a sign that he’s more interested? Or is it a way to avoid having documented text conversations on his phone?

There could be a variety of reasons for why a guy starts calling instead of texting and they vary from incredibly sweet to terribly toxic. People often have their preferences for many reasons.

Some prefer how easy it is to express yourself on an actual call versus trying to explain what you’re thinking over a text. 

Other men, however, find that they prefer the intimacy that a phone call allows. If you’re finding yourself confused about what his new behavior means, know that you’re not alone.

Whether you’re happy about the newfound communication style or growing suspicious, these are the best meanings behind the increase in phone calls. 

9 Things It Could Mean When a Guy Calls You Instead of Texting

He called me – now what? In the day and age of texting, getting on a phone call can either come off extremely endearing and sweet or downright panicked and urgent.

In today’s world, texting has made it easier to stay in contact no matter where you are or what you’re doing.

However, everyone is different and prefers different forms of communication. With texting, it can be harder to read someone’s tone whereas phone calls provide you with better context. This can lead to a lot of unnecessary misunderstandings. 

What Does It Mean When He Calls Me Instead of Texting?

  1. He is looking for something more serious
  2. He counts on your help
  3. He wants to get to know you better
  4. Controlling Personality
  5. He feels comfortable around you
  6. He is Clingy
  7. He tries to hide something
  8. He considers you a friend
  9. He is in love

Reading Suggestion: What does it mean when a guy calls you Cute?

When a guy decides to call instead of texting, it can mean a lot of different things. It could mean that he’s ready to take the relationship to the next level or it could mean that he’s hiding you from someone else.

It’s not always easy to decipher someone else’s intentions, especially if you’ve only started to date. Let’s break down the top things it could mean when he’s calling and how you can best determine which one applies to you. 

9 Things It Could Mean When a Guy Calls You Instead of Texting

1. He’s looking for something more serious 

Let’s start our list off with the best-case scenario. If you happen to like the guy, then him calling you could be a clear sign that he’s interested in something more.

As texting has become a more popular, albeit less personal way of communicating, calling someone is a great way to establish intimacy. If he happens to like you a lot, then he may be happy to simply hear your voice. 

One of the best ways to figure out if this is the case is to pay attention to the types of conversations you’re having.

Do you happen to spend hours on the phone talking about your days and sharing intimate thoughts? Does he happen to compliment you when you’re on the phone and tell you that he enjoys talking with you?

Calling you every single day is his indirect way of saying that he likes you and wants to give you his undivided attention. 

2. He knows he can count on you for help 

Are you two in the same classes together or work in the same office? If so, then pay attention to the context of the conversations when he does call.

When the telephone conversations revolve around asking for help on the most recent homework assignment or picking up his slack with the office work, then he may be calling you because he depends on your help.

You’ll find that he never really reaches out to see how your day is or ask you questions about yourself. This type of guy typically disappears once he gets the help that he’s been in search of. 

3. He wants to get to know you better 

After a fantastic first date, it’s only natural to want to get to know each other better. By getting on phone calls, it’s easier to expedite this process.

With texting, you can wait hours before coming up with a response or can get sidetracked with work and other responsibilities.

Getting on the phone is one way to give someone your full attention and ensure that you have chemistry with each other. 

After all, there’s no time to stop and think of a witty response to a question or filter your thoughts thoroughly.

By talking on the phone, he’s attempting to become a part of your daily routine. This is his way of strengthening the connection you two already share.

So don’t feel self-conscious about picking up his call and let the romance take you both into new beginnings. 

4. He has a controlling personality 

When a guy calls you multiple times a day, it can either come off as extremely endearing or possessive and controlling.

This is where your judgment will have to come into play. To figure out what his motives are, you’re going to need to pay attention to the types of questions he asks you.

Does it feel like he’s quizzing you on your whereabouts and how you spend your day? 

Reading Suggestion: 31 Signs he wants to make love to you

Is he asking you highly invasive questions that make you feel uncomfortable? You may also notice that he become aggressive or irritable when you mention that you hung out with some coworkers after work or went to a bar with your girlfriends.

If he begins to raise his voice at you or put you down for having fun without him, then that’s a huge red flag that he has a controlling personality.

Responding to this type of behavior only allows for it to continue. Stop picking up his phone calls when he shows you this side of his personality. 

5. He feels comfortable around you 

Gathering up the courage to call someone and get on the phone with them can be quite nerve-racking.

A phone call can easily go sideways, especially if the guy happens to be timid or shy. By getting on phone calls with you, it shows that he feels like he can be himself around you and not feel judged for saying “the wrong thing.”

Getting on a call increases the vulnerability between you two and speeds up the process of getting to know each other. Since he has enjoyed texting you a lot up until this time, calling you is another way to show how comfortable he feels around you. 

6. He’s clingy 

Is he excited to speak with you or is he trying to reassure himself that you even like him to begin with?

While the guy you’re talking to might be interested, he may also be incredibly insecure about the connection.

To cope with his feelings of insecurity he calls you and tries to get you on the phone as often as he possibly can. He most likely does this to make sure that you will still pick up and are still into him. 

Texting you isn’t enough when he doesn’t feel secure with where he stands with you. In this type of situation, the conversations can feel like they’re dragging on and the chemistry is off.

He may ask for reassurance about your date for next week after you already confirmed plans on the last phone call or he may sound incredibly nervous while talking about anything.

While it may come off cute, it can also be a sign that he may become even clingier as the relationship progresses. 

7. He’s trying to hide something 

Not every guy out there has pure intentions when it comes to dating. Unfortunately, some men treat dating like a sports game and their ultimate goal is to always score.

In this scenario, if you find that he’s always calling you instead of texting it may be because he has something to hide. If he happens to have a girlfriend or a wife, he may not want to have texts sitting on his phone that can get him caught.

In this type of situation, you’re going to need to find out his real intentions by paying attention to what the phone conversations center around.

If he seems to be hiding something or only wants to see you during odd hours, then he may have a girlfriend or wife that he doesn’t want you to find out about. 

8. He considers you his best friend 

If you and the guy have been friends for a while then he may be calling you because he considers you a great friend.

Maybe he isn’t sure about how far he wants to take things romantically, but he is sure that he enjoys your company and knows he can count on you to be there for him.

Reading Suggestion: When a guy texts you every day, what does that mean?

If he never plans romantic dates and doesn’t playfully tease you, then you may not be on his radar as a potential girlfriend.

He may even share his secrets with you over the phone because he isn’t worried about your judgments or presenting himself as the ‘perfect mate’ in front of you.

While the friend zone can be a frustrating place to be in if you have real feelings for the guy, it’s also one of the best places to be to move the relationship forward. 

9. He’s in love with you 

If he’s calling you every single day, asking you how your day is, and making the effort to have long and intimate conversations then it’s incredibly likely that he’s secretly in love with you.

Not all men are great at expressing their feelings. Especially ones as particularly vulnerable as love. However, if most of his texts are asking about the next time you can get on the phone together then he wants to stay connected.

Your connection means a lot to him and he’s happy to put in the extra effort to make it work. If he tells you about his day, praises you on the phone, and is always happy to hear from you then he may be harboring deep feelings. 

Is Calling Better Than Texting?

No matter how the guy you’re interested in decides to reach out, hearing from him at all in the initial stages of dating can be extremely exciting.

These days, texting has become our most used method of communication. 

With how convenient and accessible texting keeps us, it makes perfect sense that it would begin to take the place of phone calls.

Our modern lives keep us busy and being able to text while you’re running errands or are busy at an office meeting allows us to keep in contact with everyone that we love and care about. 

Reading Suggestion: 18 Signs your male friend has feelings for you

However, one of the biggest drawbacks to texting is that it often feels much less personal. How many times have you gone on a date with a guy whose voice you’ve never heard before and were completely thrown off by how different he seemed outside of texting?

While texting allows easier access to one another, it also prevents us from creating deeper connections. 

Are Phone Calls More Intimate And Serious?

Unlike texting, a phone call places you in the here and now. When a guy calls you, it may be his way of showing you that he cares and that you’re important to him. Hearing someone’s voice allows you to understand how they really feel.

You can get a better sense of his sense of humor and he can better understand the things that you’re passionate about. 

Along with feeling the immediate presence of the other person, it also forces you to speak without a filter. Texting allows us to come up with a curated message and image of ourselves.

However, studies have shown that phone calls require us to be more vulnerable and thanks to that you’re also able to create a deeper connection. 

Here are some other ways phone calls prove to be more intimate: 

Are phone calls more intimate and serious?

1. Calls allow you to communicate more efficiently 

Even though texting makes it easier to talk to whenever we’d like, it’s also responsible for a lot of misunderstandings

Text messages make it difficult to understand the other person’s tone and sometimes plans can be completely ruined due to misreading a single text. That’s why a lot of guys prefer calling.

It’s much easier to set up plans, tell a joke, or even explain a funny situation that just happened to you on a phone call than through text. There’s a reason why so many professionals recommend that serious conversations stay off of texts. 

2. Phone calls keep you present 

Phone calls are a fast way to get information across. While texting, you could be waiting a while for an answer.

The same could be said on your end if you happen to be busy and are trying to multitask while having a conversation over text. He could be sitting there waiting a while for your response.

Reading Suggestion: How to tell if a guy likes kissing you?

When you’re on the phone with someone, your attention is on them. If your attention is elsewhere, it’ll be evident quickly. Connecting in real-time gives you the unique opportunity to listen to the other person and make sure your message is coming across clearly. 

3. The awkward beginnings make way for a stronger connection 

When we get on a call, all of our barriers are down. This is especially true when you compare it to texting.

You can’t sit there all day thinking about how to respond to them. There just isn’t enough time on a call. Being vulnerable isn’t easy. There’s a reason why getting on a phone call can be so intimidating from the start. 

However, pressing through the initial awkwardness of not knowing what to say is what ultimately builds the strong bonds for a new relationship.

On a call, we can tell when the other person is smiling and we can also hear it in their voice when they’re upset. These social cues allow us to respond more authentically and help to build trust quicker. 

4. We’re more honest on the phone 

When it comes to phone calls, people are often more inclined to be honest with you. This is because you can better read someone’s emotions along with being able to better decipher the tone of someone’s voice.

It’s easy to keep your distance from someone when you don’t have to hear their phone and real-time reaction. On the flip side, when you’re on a call and building trust, you can begin to reveal certain parts of yourselves to one another.

Studies have found that when people were texting, they were more likely to be deceptive about their whereabouts as opposed to being asked on the phone. Texts allow us to be vaguer and omit certain details. 

Do Men Prefer to Text or Call? (and why)

With the invention of smartphones, texting has become the default way to get in touch with someone.

Men see texting as an easy and pressure-free way to communicate. However, women see texting as a man’s way of putting in very little effort. Men can underestimate how far a connection can go when you can hear the other person’s voice. 

There’s a lot of reasons why men may prefer to text over getting on an actual phone call. If you’re starting to wonder why the guy you like is only ever texting you, then here are some insights into what he might be thinking. 

Do Men Prefer to Text or Call?

1. He feels awkward on phone calls. 

Not every person is an absolute charmer when it comes to communicating. Some men are naturally shy, especially when it comes down to hop on a call with a girl they like a lot.

Running out of things and getting out of breath are all real problems that they worry about. While some people like to say that men are naturally less talkative than women, that’s not backed by data.

Reading Suggestion: What his Kiss says about how he feels about you

Data has found that men and women speak roughly the same amount of words in a day.  With texting, all of that nervousness gets thrown away as he has time to think of the perfect answer. 

2. He’s afraid of getting rejected 

Fear of rejection is a real thing. Men text because the idea of phoning the girl and the call going straight to voicemail can be pretty disheartening.

While you might just be busy, they don’t always know why the call isn’t being answered. More insecure men may take an unanswered call as a hint that you’re not interested in them. 

3. He’s just not that into you 

If a guy never makes the effort to call you, then he may not be that into you. He’s texting as a way to stay in contact with as minimal effort as possible.

Maybe he’s not interested in taking things to the next level with you. Talking on the phone is a way to build intimacy with someone, and he could be trying to avoid that if he’s not as emotionally invested in you. 

4. He’s just busy 

Some men lead incredibly busy lifestyles. He could be busy with lots of work projects, family obligations, and more.

This doesn’t leave him with a lot of free time to hop on phone calls to chat. If you happen to be busy as well, it can feel impossible to coordinate a time to get on the phone that doesn’t interfere with either one of your schedules.

If this happens to be the situation, then you’re both going to need to be honest about it and figure out times to schedule phone calls. Otherwise, major communication issues like this will prevent the relationship from deepening. 

How Do You Get Him To Call You And Not Text?

Is it a good sign if a guy calls you? Is it a bad sign if he doesn’t? If you’re looking for a serious relationship with the guy that you’re dating, then lack of phone time can present an issue. 

If you’re hoping to get him on the phone more and aren’t sure what to do then here are a few suggestions to follow. 

How Do You Get Him To Call You And Not Text?

1. Become an enigma 

Sometimes being a mystery is one of the best ways to get someone’s attention. If you want the guy to start calling you, then do your best to restrain how much you respond over text. Don’t give out too much information and try to keep your responses engaging but short.

Ask him questions about himself but do your best to keep the mystery around yourself for as long as possible. Don’t let him think that he knows you that well from the start.

If he’s interested in you, then the curiosity will begin to drive him mad. He’ll want to know more about you and will eventually phone you to get to know you better. 

2. Don’t answer his messages right away 

Stepping away from your phone is the best way to keep him on his toes. If you’re always answering his text messages and replying to his social media messages, then he’ll feel like he won’t have to make the extra effort to get your attention.

The more time you spend away from your phone, the more he’ll wonder about you. Once you stop replying to his text within seconds or even minutes, he’ll want to know what you’re up to. Eventually, he’ll be driven to the point of needing to get you on the phone. 

3. Be the first one to call 

Even when they happen to like you, some men are just too shy to initiate the first call. So why not take the plunge and call him first? This is a great way to reassure him that you’re interested and you can also better gauge if he likes you too.

Sometimes it takes one person’s courage to break the ice. Once you get past the initial awkwardness, if your guy likes you he’ll be more likely to initiate the next few phone calls. 

4. Ask him to call you 

There’s nothing more attractive to a man than a woman who knows what she wants and goes after it. When the guy asks you for your number, be sure to tell him that you’ll be waiting on his call to put some pressure on him.

Or if you’ve already gone on a date, reach out and let him know that you’d like for him to give you a call. A lot of times, men are hesitant to call because they’re afraid of rejection or looking too desperate.

Letting him know that you’d love to hear his voice will make him feel more comfortable and confident in giving you a call.  

How Do You Know If He Likes You Over The Phone?

After working your magic on the guy you like and finally getting him on the phone, you may begin to wonder whether he likes you or not. Sometimes it can be hard to decipher someone’s intentions without being able to read their body language. Especially if the guy is particularly shy and not as expressive on the phone. If you’re wondering if he likes you, then here are some clues to keep in the back of your mind on your next call. 

1. He calls you every day 

As mentioned above, not all guys are expert communicators. Many will opt for text messaging to keep the conversation going and will rarely pick up the phone.

But if your guy is calling you regularly then that’s a pretty great sign that he likes you. For starters, it means that he’s willing to put himself in a vulnerable situation to get to know you better.

It also means that he wants to become a part of your daily routine. By calling you every day, he’s showing his interest in you and the potential of your new relationship. 

2. He’s engaged in the conversation 

Is he engaging in the conversation with you? Does he remember small details about you and your life like your pet’s name or your favorite color? These are all great indicators that he likes you.

When a guy is juggling more than one girl or isn’t excited about your connection, it’ll be hard to keep track of small details and keep up with conversations.

When a guy wants you to know that he likes you, he’ll go out of his way to make sure you know he remembers the small things. 

3. He’s flirting with you on the call 

Is he extra playful on your phone calls and sweetly teasing you? His behavior is never outright mean or aggressive, but instead, it’s silly and makes you smile.

He might come up with a cute nickname for you or tell you how beautiful he thinks you are. This rings especially true when a guy wants to video call you.

If he’s interested in video chatting then he wants to be able to read your expressions and deepen the level of your connection. Unlike traditional phone calls, you can see when someone smiles and read non-verbal cues with a Facetime session. 

4. He starts using the word “we” a lot when referring to your plans 

When a man is serious about his feelings for a woman, he begins to envision a future with her. You’ll begin to pick up on this by the way he phrases his plans around you.

You can bet that he likes you if he’s making plans and saying things such as, “We should go to the movies this weekend” or “We get along so well.”

These are all signs that he’s already beginning to think of the two of you as a couple. He sees a future here and that means that he likes you. 

Reading Suggestion: Why do guys act like they don’t care after a breakup?

Photo of author

Alexander Burgemeester

Alexander Burgemeester has a Master in Neuropsychology. He studied at the University of Amsterdam and has a bachelor's in Clinical Psychology. Want to know more?

Leave a Comment