What Does it Mean When Girls Play With Their Hair?

Have you been asking yourself the question, what does it mean when girls play with their hair while talking to you? Females playing with their hair can mean a lot of things, such as she’s grooming herself, it makes her feel comfortable, or she’s flirting with you.

Have you met a female who seems to play with her hair all the time when she’s talking to you? You’ve probably heard it’s a sign that a woman is attracted to a man.

If that’s the case, you want to know whether she’s twirling her hair around her finger because she likes you. The answer is maybe…if you want to know why girls play with their hair while talking to you, keep reading. 

Why Do Women Play With Their Hair?

Why Do Women Play With Their Hair?

Women play with their hair for a variety of reasons, such as they’re grooming themselves, it’s comforting, and they’re flirting. If you want to know why women play with their hair, keep reading:

They’re Grooming Themselves

Women understand the power of hair, and it can either make them or break them in terms of their looks.

Even something as simple as a parting, if it falls on the wrong side, it can mess up a woman’s entire game! So, to ensure she’s always looking on point, she’s constantly grooming her hair.


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It’s Comforting

Have you ever had a girlfriend who loved having her hair stroked? Well, for some women, if they don’t have anyone to stroke their hair for them, they do it themselves.

As well as twirling her hair around her fingers, you’ll also see a woman stroking her hair. 

She’s Flirting

One of the signs a woman finds a man attractive is that she plays with her hair. It’s a subconscious gesture that says, “I’m trying to get your attention.”

One study found that after a woman’s face, hair is the most attractive female body part.

When a Woman Twirls Her Hair With Her Finger is That Flirting?

When a Woman Twirls Her Hair With Her Finger is That Flirting?

It would be great to think that all women twirl their hair because they’re attracted to you. But that’s not always the case.

Some do it because they’re nervous, bored, or daydreaming. Here are seven reasons a woman twirls her hair when talking to you. 

#1 You’re Boring

In answer to the question, what does it mean when girls play with their hair? Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you might be boring her to death, and she’s too polite to walk away.

Is she twirling her hair with a vacant look on her face? Is she staring at the lower half of your face with her eyes glazed over? Unfortunately, these are signs she’s not into you. 

#2 She’s Shy

Shy women are cute and sweet, and it can be difficult to read them, especially when they act that way around everyone.

Yes, twirling the hair is a sign of shyness, but if she’s twirling her hair because he likes you, look out for the following signs. She has a permeant smile on her face during your conversation, but she doesn’t hold your gaze and rarely makes proper eye contact with you.

Every so often, she’ll look you in the eye and quickly look away. The looking away is typically accompanied by blinking a lot and looking down.


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Another thing shy women do when they like a guy is play with her clothes. I know this sounds like she’s doing a lot with her hands right.

She probably won’t twirl with her hair and play with her clothes at the same time, but every so often, she’ll adjust her clothing.

Adjusting clothing when in the presence of someone we are attracted to is a preening gesture. We do it subconsciously because we want to look good in front of the person we think is cute. 

#3 She’s Anxious

In answer to the question what does it mean when a girl plays with her hair while talking to you, according to body language experts twirling hair is a soothing and comforting behavior that develops during childhood.

It’s typical behavior for nervous or anxious children. If she is twirling her hair because she’s anxious, it’s probably not because of you, but the environment she’s in. So don’t take it to heart. 

#4 She’s Flirting With you

And this is what you’ve been waiting for…yep! When a woman twirls her hair with her finger while she’s talking to you because she fancies you.

According to body language expert Bianca Cobb, women will pull a few strands from the sides or the back of their head and twirl the hair around their finger when flirting.

If she’s exposing her wrist, that’s even more of a sign. You’ll know for sure because her body language will give the game away. Here’s what you should look out for. 

Is she biting or licking her lips? Especially if she’s just holding the side of her lip in place with her teeth and looking at you with seductive eyes at the same time. She’s literally saying she wants to eat you! If she licks her lips, she’s drawing attention to them; she might be thinking about kissing you, which is making her mouth water. 


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Does your love interest seem to find any excuse to touch you? If you’re sitting down, she might slap you on the knee. She might touch you lightly on the arm if you say something funny. In most cases, she won’t go over the top with it though, it will be very subtle and seductive. 

If she doesn’t naturally speak in a high-pitched tone or speak fast. But she does during a conversation with you; she’s interested. By changing the tone of her voice, she’s indirectly letting you know that you excite her. Body language experts also say that speaking in a high-pitched, fast tone is also a way of drawing attention to the lips. 

#5 It’s a Habit

Everyone’s got a habit, some we do behind closed doors, and not many people know about it, and others have become so ingrained it’s done in public.

One habit a lot of women have is twirling hair around their fingers. They do it all the time, no matter who they’re talking to. And it’s got nothing to do with anxiety either; it’s just a habit.

If you want to know whether she twirls her hair all the time, or she’s doing it because she’s into you, watch her interact with other people.

Does she twirl her hair when she’s talking to men and women? If she does, sorry, but she’s not into you. 


#6 She’s Insecure About Her Hair

Insecurities manifest in many ways, and one of them is through hair twirling. Women can be insecure for many reasons, and one of them is their hair.

A study conducted by the beauty company Dove discovered that women with flat or fine hair touch it approximately eighteen times a day because they’re trying to make it look more voluminous.

So she may not necessarily be trying to make her hair look better for you; it’s just what makes her feel more secure.                                                                                         

#7 She Feels Uncomfortable

When did she start twirling her hair? Was it at the end of the conversation when it started dying?

You’re at that awkward moment when neither of you know what to say anymore, so you’re just standing around.

This can make some women feel uncomfortable, and when you’re uncomfortable, you have a desire to want to do something to take the edge off the situation.

One way women do that is by twirling their hair. Now, she feels like she’s doing something and doesn’t feel like a big dummy just standing around doing nothing. 


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How to React When a Girl Twirls Her Hair While Talking to You?

How to React When a Girl Twirls Her Hair While Talking to You?

To start with, don’t get too excited; you can also play hard to get, or you can flirt back. I understand it can be a bit nerve-racking having a girl twirl her hair when she’s talking to you, so here are a few tips on how to react:

Don’t Get Too Excited

As you’ve read, not all women twirl their hair because they want to get in your pants! So please don’t jump to that conclusion, or you might embarrass yourself.

Remain cool, and maintain your composure until you know for certain she’s into you.

Make Her Feel at Ease

If she’s acting nervous or seems anxious, try and make her feel more comfortable. To start, don’t ask if she’s okay!

That’s a sure-fire way to make her feel even worse. It might seem like the polite thing to do, but nervous or anxious people do their best to hide how they feel. What makes them even more uncomfortable is when others can detect it.

Instead, find common ground with her, and discuss something she’s passionate about. If you know already, great; if not, you’ll need to ask.

One of the reasons why people suffer from anxiety is because they don’t think others will accept their authentic selves. She’ll start loosening up because she’ll feel confident talking about her passions.  


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Play Hard to Get

You might need to play a few games to find out if she’s into you. You can start by playing hard to get.

If she’s twirling her hair because she’s trying to get your attention and you ignore her, she’ll try even harder. In case you’re wondering how to ignore her, just act normal. Don’t start acting embarrassed, and don’t give her any compliments.

If she’s into you, and she realizes you’re not falling for her charms, she’ll make it more obvious she’s into you.

So she may add licking her lips, tilting her head to the side, or giving you Bambi eyes to the mix. At this point, you know you’ve got her, and it’s up to you to decide what to do next. Keep reading to find out. 

Flirt Back

If you want to go for the kill, start flirting back. If you’re the shy type, and you’re not sure how to.

Try this… don’t come with the cheesy lines like, “heaven must be missing an angel,” or “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” Trust me. There are very few women who find lines like this appealing. 

Don’t Compliment Her Physical Appearance.

Don’t compliment her physical appearance if you want to show her you’ve got a bit more depth to you.

This will only work depending on how long you’ve been speaking to her and the type of conversation you’ve been having.

If you’ve known her for a while, that’s great; you can really have fun with this one. If you’ve just met, tread carefully because it could backfire.

Let’s say you’ve just met and been having a shallow conversation about how lively the bar or the party is; saying something about how great her personality is will seem fake. You can compliment her dance moves if she’s two-stepping to the tunes. 


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Crack a Joke

Crack a joke only if you know you’re funny because this is another one that could backfire.

Not everyone has the comedic skills of Kevin Heart, but because men know that women are attracted to funny men, they’ll start telling corny jokes that no laughs at.

If you can pull this one off, go ahead. One more thing, don’t base whether you’re funny or not on the fact that you laugh at your own jokes.

The real test is whether other people find you funny, or do you get a load of awkward silences any time you try and tell a joke? 

Let Her Lead

Throw her bait and see what she does with it. Say something like, “I wouldn’t mind taking you out for a coffee one afternoon.” Now you’ve left the ball in her court.

If she’s a little on the shy side, she might agree, and then you can set a date or time. Or, if she really wants to flirt, she might use this as an opportunity to get a bit more frisky with you. 


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Final Thought

So now you know what does it mean when girls play with their hair when they’re talking to you; play close attention the next time she does it so you can work out whether she’s attracted to you or she’s doing it for other reasons.


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Last Updated on March 3, 2022 by Alexander Burgemeester

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Alexander Burgemeester

Alexander Burgemeester has a Master in Neuropsychology. He studied at the University of Amsterdam and has a bachelor's in Clinical Psychology. Want to know more?

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