What Are The Signs That A Guy Is Hiding His True Feelings From You?

Last Updated on October 27, 2021 by Alexander Burgemeester

One of the most powerful natural abilities that women possess is intuition, they just know things! So if a man you’re talking to is into you, you’ll know, because you’ll sense it.

But why can’t he make life easier for the both of you and just tell you how he feels? Well, there are several reasons for this, and one of the most prevalent is that men are just not good at expressing their emotions. Don’t take it to heart, it has nothing to do with you, as you’ll find out shortly. 

Nevertheless, it can be terribly frustrating when you haven’t heard how he feels about you from the horse’s mouth himself! Not to worry, you’ll find out everything you need to know about the signs that a guy is hiding his true feelings from you.

5 Signs He Likes You But is Hiding it

Some men might not be very good at expressing their emotions, but they’re also not very good at hiding them either. If a guy likes a girl, and he’s thinking about having a relationship with her, he won’t say it explicitly.

But there are a lot of things he’ll do that will let you know that he is interested in you. So what are the signs that a guy is hiding his true feelings from you?

signs he likes you but is hiding it

#1. He Pays Close Attention to Everything You Do

Men have been labeled as absent-minded, they don’t pay attention to anything, and if they do, they forget very quickly. The truth is that they do pay attention, and retain more information than we think, especially when they’re attracted to a woman. And he’ll let you know that he’s noticed these things about you. 

He will read every one of your emotions, he won’t only notice the obvious ones like happiness or tears. He’ll notice the facial expressions you make when you’re disappointed, embarrassed, or disgusted.

Colors

Your guy friend pays attention to the colors you wear because they say a lot about how we’re feeling and our overall personality. He’ll notice if you wear black a lot because it symbolizes that you’re perhaps a bit shy, elegant, and reliable. Red symbolizes passion and energy.

Pink is a display of tenderness and warmth. So when you meet up with him and you’re wearing a certain color, you’re indirectly letting him know what mood you’re in for that evening. 

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Texting

Your text messaging style says a lot to a man. Most people are not comfortable expressing their true feelings and emotions face to face. But texting is like a safe space where people can talk freely without dealing with direct judgment, which is why people tend to be more honest when it comes to written communication.

He’ll pay attention to your language, and your use of emojis. He will most likely mirror your communication style to develop a better connection with you. 

What you drink

Have you ever met him at a bar after work and your favorite drink is waiting at the table for you? That’s because he pays attention to what you drink, and he’s noticed that your alcohol choices depend on your mood.

If you’re feeling stressed, you order red wine, if you’re in a chilled mood, it’s a gin and tonic, and angry is a vodka on the rocks! He will probably call or text you after work to see what kind of mood you’re in before ordering you a drink. 

#1 He Pays Close Attention To Everything You Do

How You Dress

The way you dress when you’re around him sends messages that you may not be aware of. He’ll notice if you make an effort or not. In general, women who want to impress a guy will make themselves look visually appealing to get his attention.

Men are visual creatures, they like looking at what stimulates them, and women know this. He will pay attention to the way you dress to get some clues as to whether you find him attractive or not. If you make an effort any time you see him, it’s an indication that you could be interested.

But if you always turn up in a jogging suit, no makeup, and your hair in a bun, he might jump to the conclusion that you’re not interested. 

Food for Thought

It is not uncommon for women to order a salad when they’re having dinner with a guy they’re attracted to. This is not because they want a salad, but because they don’t want to come across as a greedy person who eats too much.

It’s her way of letting the man know that she takes care of her body. This strategy often backfires, because as much as a man might want to be with a woman he’s physically attracted to, eating in this way can give the impression that she is insecure about her looks, and maybe slightly neurotic. Even if this isn’t the case, unfortunately, it’s easy to get caught up in such stereotypes.

So by all means eat what you like, but he is definitely paying attention to what’s on your plate. On a more positive note, he’s keeping a record of what you eat in case he decides to impress you with his culinary skills one evening. 

2. He Gets Competitive When You Talk About Other Guys

2. He Gets Competitive When You Talk About Other Guys

Men are competitive by nature, and this is especially true when it comes to women. It’s in their genes to compete with other men for resources because the more material possessions and finances a man has, the more likely he is to get the woman he wants.

So the minute you start talking about another guy, if he likes you, he’ll automatically go into competitive mode because, in his mind, there’s a chance that he could lose you to someone else. In a bid to make you feel that he’s the better choice, he’ll start showing off.

This typically involves acting overly macho, talking about how much he earns, or the new car he’s planning on buying. 

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3. His Body Language Tells You Everything You Need to Know

Body language speaks louder than the words that actually come out of our mouths. And there are several tell-tale signs that a man is interested in a woman, if you pay attention, you’ll spot them. 

Raised Eyebrows During Conversation

Slightly raised eyebrows while you’re talking to him is a sign that he finds you very interesting, perhaps fiery and exciting. He might come across as surprised, or as if he’s thinking about a question to ask you. 

Pulling up His Socks

One of the strangest body language signs that a man finds a woman attractive is pulling his socks up! Apparently, back in the day, men only pulled out their finest attire on special occasions. Even though their suits survived months in a dusty closet, their socks didn’t.

During the event, men would spend a lot of time pulling their socks up so they’d look presentable. Basically, it’s a preening ritual that seems to be a part of a man’s DNA. So if you notice your guy fiddling with his socks, it’s because he wants to look his best in front of you. 

Scanning Your Body

If you catch him giving your body the once over, it’s because he wanted you to see him. Experts have termed this, “visual voyaging”. He will scan your body, and stop for a couple of seconds at the part he finds most attractive.

Don’t be fooled, this is not the first time he’s doing this, he did it the first time he met you, and most likely, every time he sees you. The difference is that he’s now trying to send you a message that he’s thinking about you sexually. 

#3. His Body Language Tells You Everything You Need to Know

Power Poses

He might stand with his hands on his hips, or spread his legs when he’s sitting opposite you. This is a power pose, not only does he want you to catch a glimpse of his manhood, the hands on the hips is his way of pointing at what he considers to be his most valuable asset. He’s also attempting to enlarge himself and make his body appear bigger than it is. 

Playing With His Buttons

Does he fiddle with the buttons on his jacket when he’s wearing one? Experts refer to this as ‘displacement,’ because he feels slightly nervous in your presence. It’s also an unconscious desire to take off his clothes.

To take it a little further, he might undo the buttons of his jacket all the way, and use his hands to hold it back. The last step in this process is to take the jacket off completely. At this point, his mind is completely focused on being in the bedroom with you!

Touching His Face

Touching his face during conversation is another sign that he’s attracted to you. He’ll rub his chin, use the back of his fingers to stroke his chin, or touch his ears. It’s a combination of preening, nervous excitement, and the sensitivity we feel when someone has caught our attention.

The mouth, lips, and skin become extremely sensitive. He is also subliminally letting you know that he’s thinking about kissing you. 

He Leans in Towards You

Leaning in towards you during conversation is a sign that he wants to fully engage with you. Think about it like this, when you’re watching a movie you enjoy, you’re going to sit right in front of the television to make sure you’ve got the best view.

You want to hear every last word, see the actors facial expressions, and get fully involved in the film. On the other hand, if you’re not enjoying it, you’re not going to pay as much attention to the film, and your body language will express this. For example, you won’t sit directly in front of the TV, you’ll be sending text messages, or perhaps having a conversation on the phone. 

Your guy friend is going to pay attention to you in the same way he’d pay attention to a movie he was captivated by. He’ll lock his body into yours, by angling his face, shoulders, and chest directly in front of you. If you are standing up facing each other, you’ll see both of his feet pointing in your direction. 

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He Smiles Often

And he doesn’t just smile for the sake of smiling, he smiles at you, and in your direction. He smiles in your direction because he can’t take his eyes off you, and he’s smiling because he likes what he sees.

Men don’t look at women they’re not attracted to, and if he’s looking, trust and do believe it’s because he thinks you’re an exquisite beauty. Neither is it a slight smile, he grins from ear to ear and gets bright-eyed.

He’s letting you know that you make him feel so good that he can’t help but smile when he’s in your presence. Basically, the goofier the grin, the more he likes you. 

Playing With Rounded Objects

When men have a sexual interest in someone, they’ll start playing with rounded objects if they’re available. So if you’re sitting in a restaurant and there’s a glass or a can in front of him, he’ll start squeezing it, or rolling it from side to side because it reminds him of your breasts. 

4. He Asks You a Lot of Questions

When a guy is interested in a girl, he’ll ask her a lot of questions. First, because he wants to get to know her a bit better to see if she’s the right fit for him. And second, he wants to know where her head is at. Here are some of the most common questions you can expect a man who’s interested in you to ask:

“Are you doing okay?”/“How’s everything going?” 

Most men don’t ask how you’re doing because they want to know…well, they do, but not as much as they just want to start a conversation with you. So this question is like an inroad, and what he’s really hoping is that you’ll open up and spend time talking to him. 

“What kind of things do you get up to in your free time?” 

With this question, he’s trying to get to know you on a personal level. He wants a better understanding of your idea of fun, he’s trying to dig a little deeper to see if there’s a connection between you. This line of questioning could also mean that he’s thinking about asking you out on a date, so that when he does finally pluck up the courage to ask, he’ll know what to plan to ensure you have a good time. 

“What were you like as a teenager?” 

Here, he’s not trying to get too deep and ask about your childhood, but he does want to know more about you. Childhood and upbringing can become a very intense conversation, and if you decide to tell him about it, that’s great. 

4. He Asks You a Lot of Questions

“What are your passions?” 

One of the most interesting aspects about a person’s character is the things they’re passionate about. Life can become very boring if you live without passion. Him asking you this question is a sign that he also has a passion for something. 

“Is my outfit okay?” 

A guy will ask a girl this question not because he’s fishing for compliments, but because he genuinely cares how you see him. The fact that he’s asking for your opinion means that he values it , and indicates that he does spend time thinking about you when you’re not around. 

“Have you eaten?” 

Men are very strategic beings, and there’s a purpose behind everything they do. “Have you eaten?” sounds like a random question, but it’s not when a guy has taken a liking to a girl. He’s also more likely to ask you this question in the early evening when you’ve just finished work or school?

Why? Because that’s when people are most active on their phones, and when they’re hungry! It could be that he’s just starting a conversation, but he’s most likely asking if you want to get a bite to eat. 

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5. He Calls You After a Night Out

A lot of single guys go out wearing their Casanova hats. They are fully ready to mingle and some are specifically looking for a one-night stand because they don’t want a serious relationship. Unfortunately, men have developed a bad reputation for this type of behavior.

And if a man says he’s going on a guy’s night out (especially when there’s alcohol involved), some women expect them to hook up with someone. So when your guy friend drunk dials you after a night out, and he’s clearly intoxicated, he’s indirectly trying to tell you that he didn’t go home with anyone, nor did he bring anyone back to his place.

Alcohol lowers your inhibitions, and he might drop some major hints that he’s into you. But the next time he sees you, he’ll act like he’s forgotten all about it. 

5. He Calls You After a Night Out

Why do Guys Hide Their True Feelings? 8 Reasons Why They DON’T Make a Move

Men don’t hide their true feelings because they’re playing a cruel game with you. There are several legitimate reasons why they do this, and it starts with social conditioning. 

Why do Guys Hide Their True Feelings?

#1 Social Conditioning

To begin with, some men are intimidated by emotions and feelings because of how society has conditioned them, and because of the way, they were raised. Emotions are a part of human nature, but when it comes to processing them, men and women do so differently.

Women have been labeled as sensitive, making it socially acceptable to express emotions such as fear or sadness. But men have been labeled as fearless and strong, and outward expressions of their emotions are not encouraged. These gender stereotypes and cultural norms have been around for centuries, and they are not healthy for men. 

Men are indirectly forbidden from expressing their emotions, and if they do, they are seen as weak. If you have brothers or male cousins, you’ll most likely remember them being chastised for crying or getting upset about something.

Mothers, fathers, siblings, and relatives will enforce these stereotypes by saying things like, “Crying is for girls,” or, “You need to wipe those tears and start acting more like a man.” As a result, a lot of men are afraid to talk about how they feel because they’re terrified of being judged. However, suppressing one’s emotions can have a negative effect on a person’s mental health. 

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Male conditioning starts from an early age because the male identity is connected to strength and indifference, any behavior outside of this can ruin their image. Young boys quickly learn that emotional expression is unacceptable when they’re told they are chastised for showing their emotions.

These stereotypes are laughed and joked about, but it’s a serious problem. One of the main reasons why men don’t seek help when they’re dealing with depression and other mental health issues is because of their reluctance to share their true feelings.

Statistically, more women are diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Research suggests that more than 30 percent of men go through depression at some point in their lives, and 9 percent report suffering from anxiety and depression daily. But they are less likely to report these feelings. 

#1 Social Conditioning

Despite the fact that men have been conditioned to hide their emotions doesn’t mean they don’t have them. Studies have found that men experience emotions just as intensely as women do. But because men don’t feel comfortable crying when they’re sad, it gives the impression that they don’t have such emotions. 

Unfortunately, a lot of women don’t understand this about men, and get worried, or even offended when they shut down. But as you’ve read, it’s a lot deeper than a simple refusal to communicate. The root cause of your guy hiding his feelings is social conditioning, but there are also other reasons that can compound the issue. 

#2 Men Are Afraid of Rejection

Men hate being rejected because they view it as a failure of their masculinity. This feeling of failure is intensified when they’ve done everything they think they should be doing to impress and win over a woman and she doesn’t respond accordingly.

The guy you’re talking to might have been rejected in the past, and to ensure it doesn’t happen again, he’s keeping his cards close to his chest until he is confident that it’s safe to reveal them. 

#2 Men Are Afraid of Rejection

#3 He is Assessing the Situation

If a man is considering having a relationship with you, he will want to make sure he’s making the right decision before making a firm commitment. It might appear as if he’s hiding his feelings, but what he’s actually doing is assessing the situation to ensure he’s not mistaken.

People can appear very nice on the surface, but after you spend time with them, and get to know them on a deeper level, you discover they are not who you thought they were after all.

There is a lot more to a serious relationship than physical attraction, and sometimes, if a man is stalling, it’s because he knows what he wants in a woman, and he wants to make sure you’ve got those characteristics. 

#4 The Timing is Not Right

For some men, life is all about timing, and they want to be certain everything is in the right place before bringing a woman into the picture. He may have decided that you’re the person he wants to be with. But he wants to make more money, buy a house and ensure he’s financially stable before telling you how he really feels.

#5 He Doesn’t Know How he Feels

Sometimes, feelings are confusing, and your guy friend might be hiding his feelings because he’s not exactly sure how he’s feeling. He may be infatuated with you, it could be physical attraction, or it might be love.

He knows that he’s emotionally charged when he thinks about you, and when he’s around you, but he needs to process those emotions in the right way so that he doesn’t hurt you. 

#6 He’s Not Comfortable in Your Presence

Don’t take this the wrong way, because him not being comfortable in your presence has nothing to do with what you’re doing or not doing. It’s just that he hasn’t spent enough time with you to really get to know you and feel confident that he can be himself around you.

He’s unsure of how you’ll react if he tells you how he feels. You might laugh at him, you might dismiss him, or you might be open to hearing what he has to say. Since he’s still in that discomfort stage, he’d rather wait until he’s comfortable.

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#7 He is in a Relationship

I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but there’s a possibility that he has a significant other, but their relationship status is complicated. It could be that he and his girlfriend are going through a bad patch, and now he’s met you and he’s attracted to you so now he’s confused.

Or he and his girlfriend might have decided to take a break because of problems they’ve been having, but there’s a chance they’ll get back together if they can resolve their issues.

He hasn’t told you about his girlfriend because he doesn’t want to mess things up with you just in case he and his partner don’t rekindle their relationship. So, unfortunately, you’re being kept on the shelf until he makes up his mind about what he wants to do. 

#7 He is in a Relationship

#8 He Values Your Friendship

In the movies, this scenario has a happy ending. Boy and girl have been besties since high school, twenty years later they start falling in love, have the perfect relationship, he proposes, they run off into the sunset, and grow old together.

But in real life, such unions are known to end in disaster and the perfect friendship is ruined. So to prevent this, your guy friend has weighed up the pros and cons of this situation. He knows that a relationship is not guaranteed to work out no matter how much two people love each other.

But since your friendship has survived the test of time, he’d rather keep it that way. 

Who Makes the First Move?

Who Makes the First Move?

Who makes the first move depends on you. Are you a traditionalist who believes that it’s the man’s job to approach a woman, or are you comfortable taking the lead? To ensure that you don’t mess this up, get to know him a bit better to see what kind of man he is.

If he’s just a friend, and you already know him, you can skip this part. But he might be the shy and not so confident type who’d rather be approached by a woman instead of him doing the approaching. You can determine this by observing his character.

Does he seem to get embarrassed when he’s talking to you? Does he let you take the lead when it comes to making decisions? Is he the type who would take off running if a situation arose and you needed protection?

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If so, he’s probably the shy type and it would make his day if you said something, which might spark his hero instinct and encourage him to start chasing you. 

On the other hand, if he is bold, a leader, and a take-charge type of guy. You’ll need to decide whether you’re willing to wait around for him to tell you how he feels. The reason being is that alpha males don’t like being chased, they do the chasing.

They enjoy playing the game and winning over a woman. If the chase is too easy, and they get what they want too quickly, they’ll get bored, and move on to the next. In this situation, it’s best not to make the first move. 

Final Thoughts

Last but not least, do not in any way attempt to force your guy friend to talk about his feelings. A man will quickly lose interest if he thinks he’s being manipulated into something he’s not ready for.

Having a conversation about how you feel comes naturally to you, but in most cases, it doesn’t come naturally to men. If you decide to make the first move, and he doesn’t open up, don’t push it, because the more you push, the further away from you he’ll withdraw.

If you think he’s worth waiting for, wait, if not, move on to the next. 

Photo of author

Alexander Burgemeester

Alexander Burgemeester has a Master in Neuropsychology. He studied at the University of Amsterdam and has a bachelor's in Clinical Psychology. Want to know more?

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