Just because a narcissist has a voice, doesn’t mean they are going to use it all the time.
In fact, when it comes to watching you, the quieter they are, the better (for them, at least).
Narcissists become the weirdest version of themselves the moment they decide to spy.
To know what you’re doing, when you’re doing it, who you’re doing it with – it’s all about control.
The weird part is how they do it, and trust me, it’s done by not saying a thing.
#1 When a narcissist wants to know…
…They will do what it takes to find out. You see, watching you is like a hobby to them.
They want to study you, find out your weaknesses, your triggers and your fears.
Narcissists want to know everything about you, so they can use it all against you in the future.
They won’t hold back, so finding out will come whether they speak or not.
Getting a full picture of who you are means they have more to work with than if they only partially knew you. It means they have more to control, and more to manipulate.
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#2 Using their eyes, not their words
As narcissists are known for speaking cruelly to their victims, watching you without saying a word means you may mistake the audible peace for actual peace.
Don’t ever do that.
There is never peace where a narcissist is, and if they aren’t talking, they are watching; plotting their next move in silence while you blissfully assume everything is okay.
Using their eyes means they don’t let you out of their sight. You’re being carefree, while they are being careful not to get caught.
I need you to understand how creepy this is, because it’s you who is being led down the garden path here, and they’re loving every minute of it.
#3 Unsuspecting you
The unsuspecting victim can unknowingly set themselves up for a fall just by being watched.
A lot of this boils down to not knowing what the narcissist is capable of, and assuming that because they aren’t coming at you with their latest rage mission, that everything is settled.
I hope you know that they’re watching you so they can wait for their next move. They plan constantly, and you will always be the reason why.
#4 Following your every move on social media
And so we come to the internet. It is a great tool, but it’s abused by the wrong people.
Narcissists love to watch what you post. They can do it while sitting in the same room as you.
You think they’re checking their emails, or reading the latest news, but in reality, they’re memorizing your timeline, looking where you’ve been, who you’re friends with, and what you’ve potentially been saying about them.
They want to know how many likes you have, and what life you’re projecting out into the world.
They are checking your friends list for exes, and wondering who you might be direct messaging.
They take in everything, from what you’re wearing, to how happy you are.
The good news that you share with your followers and friends clearly outshadow them, and they will remember that the next time you tell them personally all the good stuff that’s been going on in your life so they can sabotage or criticize it.
Don’t think they aren’t doing this, because I assure you, they are.
#5 Checking your internet history
It’s a silent game to play, isn’t it? Checking your internet history doesn’t have to come with saying a single word, yet it is such a powerful yet weird way to watch you.
I’ve known of narcissists to do this by:
- Wanting to borrow your phone because they have no signal. Then they check your history and see what websites you’ve been on.
- Buying a ‘family computer’ for everybody to share, and keeping tabs on the internet history to check up on you and watch your activity.
- Picking up your phone when they think you’re asleep or not looking. If you catch them, they might say, “I thought somebody was calling you,” and quickly put it down.
For the narcissist, where there’s a will, there’s a way, and they will sure as heck find it.
#6 Turning up where you say you’ll be
This is for several reasons. Number one, they want to make sure you are keeping to your word.
Making excuses is something they do, but they don’t want you doing the same, because it will prove what a liar you are. I know, the irony, right?
Number two, they want to know why you’re there. Is it for that fitness class? Who else goes to it? Or is it that you’ve joined a new hobby group once per week, if so, why? Why now?
The paranoia of the narcissist flies off the charts, and that’s simply because they have a guilty conscience that is assumed to be possessed by everybody else, too.
We don’t all think like you, you know!
#7 Using trackers
This is a whole different level of weirdness, and one I hope none of you have to encounter.
That being said, yes, narcissists are very covert people, and they will stop at nothing to watch you.
Using trackers to maintain a close eye on you is not something they would pass up the opportunity to do.
This can be anything from sticking a tracker on your car in extreme cases, to suggesting you all use GPS apps to show each other where you are.
This isn’t for safety reasons, but reasons the narcissist has to know where you are, and control you.
They can even use your location against you, telling you that you’ve been somewhere too long.
But here’s the really ridiculous part:
They never disclose their location!
You’ll hear:
Oh, I forgot.
I didn’t realize it was off.
I thought I knew how to work this app.
You do, and that’s exactly why you follow your victim, and never let them follow you.
Don’t think we don’t know your game!
#8 Clocking your bank statements
You’d better be careful if you decide to leave your bank statements lying around.
The narcissist will pick them up and comb through them with such passion and detail, that no payment will go unnoticed.
They watch you in ways you would never dream of, from making a mental note of what you earn, to what you save, and how you spend your spare cash.
If they see that you have a lot of it, prepare for the loan requests to come flooding in, and trust me, they really will.
More so, every subscription you’re a part of will be noted, and when the time comes, you’ll hear those words:
Do you really need that many streaming accounts?
Why do you sign up to that app? I’ve never seen you use it.
They will paint how concerned they are, but that’s only from watching your finances go in and fly out again.
Let’s be honest, any excuse they have to make you feel guilty will indeed be used against you.
And they will never stop.
