It’s time for bed. Have you had a good day? How about a spray of lavender on your pillow to really relax you?
If you live with a narcissist, the chances are you’ll need an entire bottle’s worth of spray, because they do nothing but cause stress and anxiety.
The weirdest part of any narcissist is the things they do when they think you’re asleep.
If you’ve ever caught them, you’ll know exactly what I am talking about. If you haven’t, I can only warn you…
…Things are going to get very creepy.
#1 Night, all!
It’s time!
The day has been long, and now you get to rest your eyes and get some much-needed sleep.
You’ve wound down all evening with your favorite sleepy tea and bubble bath, and you are ready to get comfy and enter your slumber.
It’s about time. You deserve it!
You wish your partner goodnight, and they reciprocate.
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What you don’t realize is, they’re a narcissist, and they’re about to get very weird.
#2 Wait, what’s going on?
They’ve crawled into bed with you and rolled over, but while you are drifting off, their eyes are wide open, waiting for that sigh you do when you have finally fallen asleep.
They wait, and they think they’ve heard it, so they get up and start acting weirdly.
What they don’t see is that in fact, you’re wide awake, and watching out of one eye half open. You can also hear everything that’s going on, and so the show really starts.
But what show do I mean? What could a narcissist possibly do that’s so weird while they think you’re asleep?
#3 Why do narcissists try to reach for your phone?
First thing’s first, the narcissist wants to get to your phone. Knowing you’re asleep means they get to scroll through everything that’s on it.
From one app to the other, they bounce around. You’ve got nothing to hide, so you just lay there in discomfort waiting for them to be done with whatever it is they’re doing.
You see the screen light up on their miserable face, and you watch them subtly as they look at all your messages.
You know you’re innocent, but they clearly want something on you.
That’s what narcissists do. They want to catch you out, get information about you, or find out who you have been talking to.
They want to check your calendar, and see where you’ve been and what plans you’ve got.
They’re deeply insecure, and their guilty conscience is assumed to be something you share with them.
Only, you don’t. You’re the good egg.
#4 What’s with all the noise?
That’s right, a narcissist will make so much noise when they think you’re asleep.
The joke is on them though, because you’re actually wide awake and listening to them act out yet again.
From stomping around the house pretending to look for something to slamming the fridge door in an effort to wake you up.
They throw their bag across the bedroom floor, or ‘accidently’ bump into the dresser, knocking off your favorite perfume.
Narcissists have no filter, and they will stop at nothing to give you that broken sleep that makes you tired and overwhelmed the next day.
It’s weird to me that narcissists don’t just want to go to sleep like normal people and rest up. They have to disturb their partners, no matter the hour.
#5 The sighing and thrashing about
When a narcissist thinks you’re asleep, they think they know all the tricks to keep you awake.
Well, the joke can sometimes be on them, as you are laying there still awake, they thrash and move around as if they’re trying to wake you.
The sighing is meant to keep you on your toes and leave you anxious. It’s supposed to give you the impression that they have things on their mind, or are annoyed with you somehow.
They’re not. They’re just being huge pains in the ass.
Then there’s the moving around. Can’t get comfortable? Getting tangled up in the sheets?
Nope. They just want to disturb you and wake you up in some kind of panic.
It won’t work though, as you’re already wide awake and laughing at their failed attempts to rile you.
#6 Who are they looking up?
Well, well. What a surprise. The narcissist is on their phone, right next to you.
You knew from the way they were breathing annoyingly that they were being pacified by their phone, but the glow that’s hitting your face from their screen confirms it.
They’re certainly up to no good, and because they think you’re asleep, they’re under the illusion that what they’re looking at is going over your head, quite literally.
Only, you’re awake, and as you lift one eyelid gently, you can see they are on that dating site again. They’re messaging their ex, or coworker they’re getting too friendly with.
They’re checking vacations for one, or looking to see how many likes their latest post got.
All when you should be asleep, but are faced with the reality of their after hours move.
If they’re doing that right there, then what else do they look up throughout each day?
Worrying?
I’d say so.
#7 The whispers from the bathroom
Taking it another step, the narcissist will creep into the bathroom and call up their friends or relatives even the person they’re chatting with, and have a full blown, albeit whispered conversation with them while they think you’re sleeping.
You try to listen to each word, but all you hear are the odd ones that you try to piece together.
It’s as if the narcissist has a whole double life.
I hate to say it, but that’s exactly what it is. And now you’re beginning to see the depths of that before your very (closed) eyes.
#8 Going through your purse?!
Are you kidding? Why is the narcissist going through your purse when they think you’re asleep? What are they looking for?
You see them pick out your diary. They fan through it to see what your upcoming plans are, and you are fuming on the inside.
You also panic – will they see anything that will trigger them into yet another narcissistic bout of rage?
Then comes the money.
They check to see what you’re carrying, and slip a $20 into their pocket that they find.
It doesn’t belong to them, and you want to open your eyes and confront them, but you come to realize that it’s just not worth the hassle or drama,
Somehow it’ll be your fault, anyway, so what’s the point?
#9 Checking your journal
The journal you keep next to your bed is picked up by the narcissist’s grubby hands, and they pick through each page, looking for things they can use against you.
It’s a place you write down all your worries and thoughts of the day, and they are now gaining exclusive yet unwarranted access to all of it.
This was not what you wanted from this relationship. Do they do this every night when you’re actually asleep?
Most likely!
