Narcissists love phones as much as they love their toxic and damaging habits.

When you put the two together, it’s no surprise that there will be trouble – and a lot of it.

If you want to spot those red flags, I urge you to look at the person in your life with habits that align with what I am about to expose.

Only then will you be able to steer clear, stay safe, and keep your sanity!

Narcissists Love Their Phones

Narcissists and phones … who hears me here?! They’re completely obsessed with them.

If they aren’t calling or texting, they’re scrolling or posting. This goes beyond being addicted to phones for distraction purposes, or because you majored in procrastination – this is a real hit needed.

The reason narcissists love their phones so much is because it’s like a constant friend telling them how fantastic they are, or feeding them information that will prove useful to them. 

Hey, look how many likes you got on your latest photo!

Wow, see how many followers you have, you must be a really great person!

Beep! Oooh, you have a text! Who wants to talk to you?

Ring, ring! Someone’s calling – you must be an important, in demand person!

It’s the same old thing with narcissists – but more than that – their phones are also used as a powerful weapon (more about that later!) Trust me when I say you don’t want to be on the receiving end!

You Think You Know Them So Well

Well, we all think we know the people we are closest to so well, don’t we? We assume that because we live with somebody, or see them every day, that we know all there is to know.

In truth – you don’t really know any narcissist, because they keep so much of their true selves – to themselves!

With pretty much all of us now owning some kind of smartphone that we are for whatever reason intermittently picking up and putting down, it’s hard to tell a narcissist using one.

Lucky for you – I’ve got all the deadly signs you need to look out for!

Habit: Their Phones Become Limbs

Did anybody ask for a third arm? If you didn’t, then I applaud you. That means you don’t view your phone as an extension of you, and instead use it as wisely as you can.

Sure, they can be addictive, but they don’t need to constantly be in your hand – I don’t care what kind of job or social life you have. There’s always time to look up.

When phones become limbs, you have to ask yourself why the person is treating their device that way.

What do they need? What are they in search of? What kick are they getting from it?

Narcissists are always in search of their next temporary high, that’s why they bounce so much from person to person, situation to situation, looking for somebody to mess with or play mind games with. 

Phones do all the hard work for narcissists, while they can just sit and press a screen to get what they want. 

Habit: Password? None of Your Business!

Ah yes, the first wonderful phone habit that points to a narcissist is when they keep their passwords or codes to themselves. 

How dare you even ask? Do you know how rude that is?

But hey, can they have your password, and if not, why not?

Passwords are how narcissists keep their seedy little internet history, apps and converses to themselves.

It’s seen as none of your business, and it protects the narcissist from admitting they lead double, even triple lives!

Habit: Why Don’t You Leave it Near Me?

Narcissists are infamous for keeping their phone as close to them as possible.

They don’t want to leave it lying around so you can potentially pick it up and try to snoop.

They don’t want calls coming through that you will see. They just want to be left alone with their device, and they will make that happen by taking it wherever they go…

…Even to the bathroom!

It’s not that they overvalue their privacy – they just feel their phones are like these little secret tools where they can live their double lives – usually texting people they shouldn’t or spying on their exes. 

Habit: LISTEN TO ME, EVERYBODY!

Will you just for once ….

Shut up!

Stop assuming we want to hear your conversation!

Stop assuming you’re interesting or important enough to sway our attention!

You want to yell it to them too, right? I know I do sometimes when I hear people talking way too loudly on their phones.

The loud volume chiming from certain people as they speak is a habit that cries out, look at me!

There will always be people who will fall into that trap – but make sure you aren’t one of them!

Habit: SAY CHEESE!

Oh, please. Stop taking photos of yourselves for just one hot minute, will you?

I know we live in the age of the selfie. Everybody takes photos of themselves, and it’s easier to do than ever.

Phones have amazing cameras now, and it’s fun to be silly, or take photos if you’re out somewhere special.

This is a whole other level, with narcissists reaching out to take photos at every opportunity, from every angle, in every light, using all the filters they can. 

What you have to appreciate is that narcissists need attention. They want to carve out this untouchable image for people to see, and selfies are a great way to do that. 

Habit: Social Media Obsessed

And where do those selfies go, I hear you ask…

Social media!

Narcissists love to have all the apps you can think of.

And they will use them all. 

From Snapchat to Facebook, nothing is out of bounds. It means they can gain as many followers as possible, and if a friend or acquaintance doesn’t have one app, they’re bound to have another. 

Narcissists cover all social media grounds so they can show off to the masses – using these creations to spy, compare, brag and act their butts off to strangers. 

Habit: I Use to Get To You

If you are the friend or lover of a narcissist, then may I first apologize that you’re in that situation.

No seriously…

Victims of narcissists are usually aware of their phone time. They value time spent together too, and appreciate when too much time on phones is too much. 

The little peering over their phones at you, to check to see if you’re annoyed is a habit of the narcissist.

They want to know that they’re getting under your skin, and constantly neglecting you to favor their phones shows you how non-important they think you are.

And it works! Low self-esteem levels derive from watching the narcissist spend all their time attached to their screens.

If this sounds like something you tolerate – then it’s time to ask yourself some big questions. 

How Do Narcissists Manipulate Their Partners?

Narcissists are happiest when they have a partner they can twist, manipulate and control.

They love to be part of something where everybody else is smaller and less powerful than they are. Their lives then have meaning, just as they feel they should every day.

There are specific ways a narcissist will manipulate their partners, though. As troubling as it may sound, these are textbook ways – and that’s where you need to pay close attention.

If this sounds like your situation, that’s because it likely is.

“My Reality is Fact!”

The reality is that you’re being manipulated by someone who has had much practice. They’ve been exactly where they are now, except with different victims. 

“You’re Nothing!”

Being told how worthless you are does a few things.

For the narcissist, it brings them to a new level of control and manipulation. If you hear something enough times, you will start to believe it. 

You believe it even more when you’re treated that way alongside those words. 

It’s all a tactic, created to destroy your hopes and dreams, your identity, and how you carry yourself each day. 

Where you once stood tall, you now slouch and try to be invisible.

That’s exactly how the narcissist wants you. 

“It’s Your Fault, Not Mine!”

Narcissists project to get whatever they’ve done wrong out of the light. They don’t want their faults or inappropriate actions to be spotted, and so they throw you out there instead.

So everybody looks at you. The narcissist looks at you as if they feel let down by you. 

And you feel that shame, because you take it on. And you take it on because they’ve pushed it so far into you that you have no choice. 

This design is set up to get them off the hook.

Thank God you are there for them to treat you this way – without you – they just might look like the bad guy.

Phew for them!

“…”

That’s right, the good old silent treatment. The way narcissists do this is by completely shutting down and ignoring you. 

If you’ve experienced it, I don’t need to tell you how uncomfortable it is. It induces panic, fear and worry, and like all things narcissists do, it is unnecessary. 

The silent treatment acts to give you nothing at all, so it’s easy for the narcissist to say, “Well, I didn’t say anything horrible. I wasn’t mean,” Then make excuses for them being quiet. 

When you’ve been given the silent treatment, you are left to your own insecure devices.

What did I do wrong?

How can I fix this?

What can I do to make them happy?

I must be a terrible person.

What’s going to happen next?

Do you need this?

No.

Yet they make it so prevalent in your world. 

It isn’t fair. 

“I Must Cause Fallout”

 What is life without a little drama? Actually, it’s quite nice. But then again, I’m speaking as an emotionally healthy person, and not a narcissist. 

The idea that drama is of such greedy interest to the narcissist is one that never fails to shock me. Why would anybody want to be in the middle of so much negativity?

Narcissists do. As people and emotions explode around them, they can act and do what they like and not be seen to be doing anything wrong at all.

Be careful here – narcissists want to pull strings to see a certain dynamic. 

If you’re a part of that, you will suffer. 

“Poor Me…”

The victim mentality of a narcissist can stop the most believing people in their tracks.

It’s all been too much for me.

I try my best.

I don’t know what I do wrong to upset people. 

I wish people would understand me.

These phrases tug at the heartstrings of those who want to give them the benefit of the doubt, and sadly – yes – it works. 

Narcissists always want to look as though they’re being wronged.

This injects:

• Guilt
• Shame
• Self-blame
• Self-loathing
• Insecurity
• Worry
• Anxiety
• Depression

In their partners, and they know this. 

They just don’t care.  

“Bringing You Back, Get Ready!”

Let’s take you back to a time where we were so in love, and everything was perfect!

We are so great, you and me. It was us against the world!

Think about all that passion we had. You’re never going to be able to find that anywhere else.

Oh, the manipulation game is strong with these kinds of phrases. They love getting you at your most vulnerable, reflecting on the distorted nostalgia between you.

It’s enough to make you paint over all the cracks in between, isn’t it? And there were a lot of those. 

What’s manipulative about this is the narcissist’s attempt to invite you to ignore their abuse, and only focus on the good (which was likely to have felt magical!) 

Don’t get sucked into this black hole.

“I Will Tell Everybody!”

Uh-oh. What’s that supposed to mean?

I think you and I both know this is not going to end well with you,

Narcissists will tell whoever listens what a horrible person you are and how you wronged them. They may stretch as far as saying that you are the cheater, you hurt them, you spread lies about them and you’re the manipulative one. 

It’s frustrating for victims, but beyond that, it’s absolutely destructive. 

Suddenly, your reputation is in tatters. It’s all based on the false word of the narcissist, who, by the way, is likely loving seeing your house of bricks fall down while their house of cards remains. 

“Nice, But Not!”

You go out, they act like the perfect partner.

You get home, and they ignore you.

You did this wrong, you did that wrong, you didn’t pay them enough attention, you flirted with that person.

Whatever it is, the charm will switch off. The mask will inevitably slip.

This is where the narcissist has learned not just to manipulate you but also to manipulate everybody else, too. They all think, “What a nice person. They’re such a good couple.”

Also the best one, 

“You’re so lucky to have them as your partner!”

Oh boy, if only they knew the truth, right? 

The truth is, you aren’t lucky. The narcissist is just very clever. They know buttons to press, when to press them, who to press them with, and they are always ready for it. 

You on the other hand then find it even more difficult to convince people of the truth.

This is the sole reason why narcissists manipulate – to make you look like the crazy one eventually, and for them to be the victim.