We all get bored from time to time, but the boredom of a narcissist affects not just them but those who know them, too.

You may be familiar with it. Like a bolt out of the blue, they switch how they treat you.

They act out to get your attention, like that’s another thing you need in your life right now!

As unexpected as their boredom is to you, there are ways to somewhat prepare for their games.

I’d like to think being right here, right now is that first step.

External Stimulation: Essential

Narcissists rarely sit and find happiness and contentment in the everyday. Mindfulness is a concept we’re always told is a good thing.

Great for our health. Positive for those who suffer with anxiety or depression. Live in the now, forget the past and stop trying to assume the future.

Narcissists aren’t so hot at being in the moment, especially if there isn’t much to do in it. They’re pretty good at planning, or being spontaneous. 

Furthermore, they will knowingly celebrate that spontaneity because it will seem as though they’re adventurous.

In reality, they just can’t stand doing nothing. A slow day equals time to sit with their thoughts of self-hate and the realization that they’re insecure, scared little children trapped in an adult body. 

Needing to release that boredom with a pastime is essential for them.

Poor things…

Pick a Fight Out of Nowhere

I think this is the main thing people who deal with narcissists will notice over time. 

The need to start a fight just because there is literally nothing else going on in their lives is the height of sadness.

I need attention.

Please look at me.

Listen to me.

React to what I am saying.

Be the person who suddenly needs to say sorry.

Let me control this situation.

Take my mind off how much I hate myself, please!

If a narcissist was brutally honest with themselves, these are the kinds of things that would be spoken aloud. 

Instead, the noise comes from mocking. Insulting. Triggering comments. Personal attacks on the way you look, or what tone you said something.

Or what about being late home, even though you’re only 7 minutes late into the front door?

The food wasn’t cooked properly. You added onions when you specifically know it gives them indigestion.

They had a long day and you’re asking too many questions. They feel like giving you the silent treatment because they know it invokes panic in you.

It’ll all come, as respect for you will yet again be neglected and replaced with the dire need to poke and provoke you. 

All in the name of boredom.

Ghost or Ignore People

Ignoring or ghosting a person gives the narcissist a chance to take the reins.

There doesn’t have to be something you have said or done wrong, but they can do it knowing you will either chase them for some kind of response, or react in a way that displays pain and sadness. 

It’s satisfying for the narcissist , who thrives the most when they see you suffering.

Your tears are joyous to them, and they use them as fuel for their own self-esteem.

Like the classic school bully, narcissists are only happy when they know they’ve got to you. 

Treating you differently out of the blue like this is a good way for them to feel like they’ve got control over your emotions, proving their power to themselves.

Don’t let them have it!

See it for what it is: cruel and unnecessary. There’s no need to treat anybody this unfairly, and if you’re being ghosted right now, see it as a sign to close that chapter and leave the past behind you. 

Create Unnecessary Chaos

Hmm. Who can I pick on today?

Who can I spread lies about?

Who can I bother?

Who can I make feel anxious?

Who can I get to stop and ask me what’s wrong?

It’s really the weirdest thing, and you’re never going to expect it. Why?

Because you’re never going to know when a narcissist is bored!

I could be right as you head into a meeting, you get a rude text that panics you.

Or what about the morning of an important test or exam? Maybe a job interview? Perhaps it’s in the lead up to your birthday (classic narcissist!)

Whenever it may be – it’ll come out of nowhere.

For the narcissist – it’s perfect.

For you – not so much, 

Copy Someone Else’s Personality or Interests

They just can’t find a personality of their own, can they?

Narcissists are usually hot on copying other people, albeit covertly. Those who are more likely to be cloned by a narcissist are popular, kind, passionate and giving people.

Pillars of society!

It’s like the narcissist is thinking, “I like what I see here. They seem like everybody likes them and trusts them. So I must make myself like them!”

Copying their moves, mannerisms, what they like, where they shop, hobbies and interests – you name it.

It’s very strange to me that a person can’t carve out their own identity, but narcissists aren’t always the best ones to look at for a genuine character.

That’s why they steal pieces of everybody else!

Love Bomb Someone Randomly

How else does a narcissist expect to get the loving attention they so desperately crave if they aren’t love-bombing somebody random in order for that quick fix?

Love-bombing isn’t just for the spouse of the narcissist – it can be for absolutely anybody.

Oh wow, you look amazing!

You’re just so clever. How do you do it?

Hey, anything to help.

We should go for a drink and swap ideas about that business idea.

My treat, honestly. Put your purse away. I’ve got this.

Narcissists will use any avenue to get into a person’s good books, and what that will do is a few things.

It will, of course, automatically set the narcissist up with a new source of supply.

Secondly, it’s going to mean an instant ally if things go wrong for them. They will have somebody to back them up, and defend them as a good, upstanding person. 

Anything to relieve that boredom.

Start Posting Cryptic or Attention-Seeking Content Online

Anything for lies for likes, right?

Narcissists are so good at doing this.

Either posting something rude, crude, heavily filtered, or half true just for people to respond to them.

And the best part (come on, we all know what’s coming…):

I won’t write what it is on here. I’ll DM you.

So if you want to know what’s wrong, you have to ask them privately after the public display.

I find it quite funny, and I just let it go over my head.

Clearly the narcissist is bored! Don’t give them the satisfaction of chasing their latest attention-seeking crap.

When a narcissist is bored, you’d think all will be well – quiet even.

There’s no such luck, sadly. In fact, a narcissist’s boredom usually means the start of something that you may just have to buckle up for. 

It’s when I find they’re their most troublesome, and you know what that spells?

Chaos in your life. As if you need any more of it!

What Narcissists Really Think About You?

You should never sit in the seat of certainty when it comes to any narcissist.

You will never be there for long, because you were instead destined for confusion.

Narcissists think and act differently, depending on their mood that day. If they feel like it, they will be nice.

If they’re nice, it’ll be because they want something from you.

If they’re not nice, it’s because they need your supply. They like to see you suffer.

Knowing what they really think about you will give you an idea of their true character…

…And it’s not good.

You Think You Know Them?

Nobody ever really knows the narcissist. The only person who knows them is them. 

I don’t think it’s ever really wise to assume you know everything there is to know about somebody so toxic.

After all, they love to change the goalposts so much that as soon as you feel you have them pegged, they change and shift the tides to suit themselves.

The same can be said for what they really think about you.

Living Your Best Life, Until…

They come along!

It’s the same with all narcissists. You’re happy until you realize what you’ve gotten yourself into. 

Isn’t it a shame to think that the narcissist, somebody who claims to have your best interests at heart, treats you the way they do?

How can somebody who says such loving things never ever prove that love in any healthy way at all?

Underneath Their Act Lies Jealousy

It’s okay to be a little envious in life. It’s a natural response to somebody having what you would love to have.

For example, your friend could have bought themselves a new holiday cabin with a view.

Darn. I would love that. I am so envious you get to go there!

That’s where it ends, though, right?

I mean – you have a choice. You can work hard to earn the money for one. You can ask to stay there if you paid your way for the week.

Narcissists don’t get envious – they rage with jealousy.

They detest all the good in the lives of others and will resent you for what you have.

Is that normal?

Nope!

Is that right?

Absolutely not!

“Look At You, All Happy. That’ll Have To Stop…”

They hate your happiness. It acts like a plague on them. They want to cut it off as quickly as they can, so they’ll do what it takes to ensure any joy is fleeting.

How dare they smile and have things go their way?!

The confusing part for you is that you think they love you. You automatically think they’ll be happy when you receive good news, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. 

Any happiness is bound to come from something or somebody other than them. That’s a major threat. How could you allow that?!

Derailing your happiness can take various forms: mocking you until you stop, criticizing you until you no longer believe in yourself, or shaming you until guilt about your own happiness eats you up. 

I could go on forever. 

Imagine being around somebody who loathes seeing you content that much.

“I Can Get Away With Anything!”

Forgiveness is an act undertaken by people who can see the bigger picture. They want peace and understand that people make mistakes. 

Asking for forgiveness can alter how you view your mistakes if that forgiveness is going to be abused later on. 

Those who are genuine in being sorry know they will not repeat what they did to hurt the other person. That’s how it generally goes, right?

Narcissists don’t care. They truly don’t. They will repeatedly offend, time and time again. 

They know they’ve got several love-bombing tricks up their sleeves that have proven very efficient so far. 

There’s no reason why those things won’t work all over again.

And you know what? All the while you continue to forgive, they will continue to offend. 

They Don’t Love You

I know it’s a tough pill to swallow. Knowing you aren’t loved takes a lot of hard work because, for the most part, you feel in complete denial. 

Of course, they love me. They tell me they do.

I know they love me. They wouldn’t have taken me on that expensive trip if they didn’t. 

You learn the value of love to only be at the currency the narcissist sets.

Love isn’t a currency. It doesn’t ebb or flow. It remains. 

I know it’s hard to admit to be true. All that emotional work you put into the relationship. All the ways you were vulnerable and shared your life with them. 

I speak truthfully when I tell you it was all a ploy to get you to play their game. 

Threatened By Your Success…

If a narcissist sees your success, they’re going to want and need to put a stop to it immediately. 

Your success can be compared to a competition you don’t even realize you’re in.

You’re exceeding, and the judges have their eye on you. Only the narcissist is also taking part, and the judges aren’t even looking their way at all. 

The anger. The resentment. The envy. It will all spill over the surface.

So, what does the narcissist do? When nobody is watching, they will sabotage what you are making or creating so that you fall down in the competition rankings.

They may even steal what you have and use it for themselves.

That’ll get them noticed!

They can’t stand to see you getting the attention. To them, you don’t deserve happiness because it isn’t something they’re personally gaining for themselves. 

What a dangerous and toxic trait to have, right?

Well… welcome to the world of narcissists.

…Pleased When You Fail!

The party poppers would be popping constantly if the narcissist had their way. When you fail, it’s not something they necessarily or overtly laugh about (although that can happen).

Instead, they will quietly smirk in the corner of a darkened room. They don’t want others to see their joy, but that won’t stop them from feeling it.

You’d think somebody who claimed to care about you would be falling over themselves with concern if you are down, sad, failing, or having a terrible day.

Nope.

Narcissists love it. They love seeing you fall because when you do, you land at the bottom of the heap, exactly where the narcissist resides. 

Knowing they have company makes them feel better, and seeing your misery or disappointment will ensure a huge grin is plastered all over their faces—difficult to wipe off.