Last Updated on November 30, 2022 by Alexander Burgemeester
Rejection is uncomfortable, and no one wants to be the benefactor or recipient of it. Nevertheless, it’s one of those unfortunate facts of life you can’t avoid.
What you don’t want to do is give someone the runaround or beat around the bush because it will make you look bad.
Additionally, one of the main reasons people shy away from turning down a date is that they don’t know what to say.
It’s important that you make yourself perfectly clear and that you don’t cause offense when saying no, so if you want to know how to turn a date down over text, keep reading.
How To Reject Someone Nicely Over Text
When you reject someone, they are going to be disappointed. There is a chance that they’ll take it personally and think there’s something wrong with them. How they choose to receive the rejection is not your problem.
But it’s your responsibility to deliver the rejection in the nicest way possible. The most effective way to reject someone is by using the ‘negative sandwich’ approach.
This technique helps soften the blow and is typically used in the corporate world.
The ‘negative sandwich’ approach involves delivering negative feedback in between two positive compliments. You start by telling them how great they are, then the reason you’re rejecting them, and finally, another compliment.
It’s also important to mention that you don’t need to over-explain yourself, and neither do you need to give the person the exact reason you don’t want to go on a date.
Firstly, you are not obligated to provide an explanation, and second over-explaining gives them the opportunity to convince you that you’re making the wrong decision because some people are very skilled in the art of persuasion.
Also, telling the person the exact reason you don’t want to go on a date with them could cause offense.
For example, if you don’t find them attractive, don’t say that because it will make them feel insecure. They may not be attractive to you, but they are to someone else.
Example Text Messages To Turn Someone Down
There are several things you can say when turning a person down over text, and these include: You’re a really nice person, but I am not ready to date right now; I’m sorry, but I’m not attracted to you in that way, or I don’t mind being friends but I’m not interested in anything else.
Keep reading for some example rejection text messages.
#1 You’re a really nice person, but I am not ready to date right now
I believe in divine timing, and sometimes you can meet a fantastic person but you’re not emotionally ready to date yet.
You have other things going on in your life, like looking after a sick relative, or you need to study for an exam. Whatever the reason, you simply don’t have the time or the energy to invest in a relationship right now.
#2 I’m sorry, but I’m not attracted to you in that way
If the person asking you on a date is your co-worker or someone you met through a friend, you might think they’re cute, but they’re not your type.
Some people know exactly what they’re looking for in a partner. They’ve tried dating someone that wasn’t their type, and there was no chemistry, and they’re smart enough not to make the same mistake twice.
#3 I don’t mind being friends but I’m not interested in anything else
If the person asking you on a date is a friend you’ve known for a while and telling you they’re attracted to you has come as a surprise, let them know.
Say you had no idea they felt this way, and you’re flattered, but you don’t want to ruin the relationship, so you’d rather remain friends.
#4 I’m flattered, but I’m seeing someone at the moment
Telling the person you’re seeing someone else is the easiest way to reject someone.
They can’t expect you to dump your partner for them, so they’ll just have to cut their losses and keep it moving.
#5 Sorry, but I don’t date my co-workers
If you work with the person asking you out on a date, turn them down by telling them you don’t date your co-workers.
Dating someone you’re working with can get very awkward, especially if everyone finds out or your date is unsuccessful.
#6 I’ve got way too much going on in my life right now to date
Relationships are an investment, and they won’t work if you don’t have the time to invest in one.
Having a lot going on in your life is a good excuse for rejecting a date because no one wants to be at the bottom of someone’s list of priorities.
They’ll understand why you’re turning down the date. But for ego’s sake, they might ask if you’d date them if you didn’t have so much going on in your life.
They may also ask when you think you’ll have more time to date, so be prepared for questions of this nature.
#7 I’m still getting over my ex, now is not a good time for me to date
A mature person will understand why you need to heal from a previous relationship before getting into another one.
Being on the receiving end of someone else’s baggage and pain is not a position you want to be in.
But if you’re dealing with an ego-driven individual who believes they’re so awesome they can get you to forget about your ex, expect some pushback with this excuse.
#8 I’m working on myself right now and have no time to invest in a relationship
One of the most sensible things you can do before getting into a relationship is get to a point where you’re so happy with yourself that you don’t need anyone else to complete you.
Invest time in achieving your goals, getting in shape, and anything else that will make you feel the most confident.
People find their worth when they’re happy with themselves, and people tend to be happy with themselves when they’ve created the life they desire.
When you’re insecure and don’t feel worthy of love, you put that energy out and attract the wrong people, and you don’t want to do that.
Saying you want to work on yourself is a viable excuse for choosing not to date.
#9 I’ve decided not to date for the next couple of years while I focus on my career
Climbing up the career ladder takes discipline and hard work. It involves putting in extra hours at your job, taking courses, and staying up late.
People focused on their careers barely have time for a social life, let a lone a relationship.
By adding the time frame of a couple of years, you’re more likely to put them off wanting to date you because most people won’t want to wait that long.
#10 Unfortunately, my culture/religion won’t allow me to date you
Suppose you’re of a specific culture or religion that does not allow you to date anyone, not of the same culture or religion as another person.
In that case, you can use it as an excuse even if your family doesn’t subscribe to it. The person asking you on a date will have no choice but to respect your decision.
#11 No, But I’m really flattered that you asked
If you really don’t like the person and can’t keep a straight face when lying, it’s best just to say “no” without giving an excuse. You are not obligated to tell them why. Let them know you’re flattered they asked, and keep it moving.
Best Practices To Turn Down A (Second Date Over Text)
You can say several things to turn down a second date over text, including, you’ll make an amazing partner, but you’re just not for me.
Sorry, but I don’t think we had enough in common to go on a second date. Or, I don’t think we had enough chemistry to go on a second date.
Turning someone down for a second date is harder than turning them down for a first date. During the first date, you got to sit down with that person face to face and get more insight into their personality.
Which means you’re typically basing your decision off you’re interaction with them, and that can make rejection sting a little bit more.
Nevertheless, it’s got to be done, so here are five best practices to turn down a second date over text.
#1 You’ll make an amazing partner, but you’re just not for me
Everyone is entitled to their preference, and if you go on a date with someone and decide that the person wasn’t for you, that’s perfectly okay.
You might prefer more outgoing and opinionated people, while your date was very reserved and quiet.
Or, you might prefer someone with a bit of weight on them, and your date was too skinny. Whatever the reason, let the person know they would make a great partner for someone else, just not for you.
#2 Sorry, but I don’t think we had enough in common to go on a second date
Having things in common with the person you’re dating is very important because it helps drive the relationship forward.
In general, you’re friends with people because you’ve got things in common, and most people want the same in a relationship. You want to share beliefs, goals, thoughts, interests, and hobbies.
Sharing common interests adds an element of fun to the relationship, but when you don’t, it makes things more complicated.
If after the first date, it became clear that you didn’t have much in common with this person, there’s no point in going on a second date.
#3 I don’t think we had enough chemistry to go on a second date
It’s more than likely that the person who asked you out on a date thought you had chemistry, or they wouldn’t be asking you out for a second date.
If you don’t feel the same way, going on a second date is a waste of both of your time.
Chemistry is one of the foundational elements of a relationship because not only does it bring intensity and excitement, you feel in tune with your partner, which helps develop emotional closeness.
#4 I don’t think the long-distance thing will work for me
Depending on how far you live from your date, you can use distance as an excuse for not wanting to go on another date.
Many people have successful long-distance relationships, but it’s not for everyone; the person who asked you on a date might be okay with distance, but you’d rather date someone who lives closer to you.
#5 I’m looking for a serious relationship, and I can’t see what we’ve got heading in that direction.
The best way to turn someone off is to speak about your relationship expectations.
For some people, the end goal is to have a serious relationship, but for others, dating is just a fun way to get to know the opposite sex.
If things progress to a relationship, then fine, but that’s not the main objective.
Telling someone you’re looking for a serious relationship so early on in the game gives off desperate vibes to some people, which is a major turn-off, and that’s exactly what you want.
Now that you know how to turn down a date over text, and you’ve got plenty of rejection text messages at your disposal, you’ll always have an excuse ready when turning someone down.
Unfortunately, there is no easy way to reject the person who asks you out on a date.
They are going to be disappointed no matter what you say. As mentioned, if a person has the gift of persuasion, they may attempt to coax you out of your decision.
Stand your ground, and don’t allow them to because you have the right to reject a date. Nevertheless, the best way to take the sting out of rejecting a date is to be nice about it.