Truths Narcissists Don’t Want You to Know

Do you ever feel like you’re being shielded from something when you’re with a narcissist? Something that would make you finally see your worth?

That’s because you are.

Oh, the ways they hide crucial information from you. The ways they keep even your own potential under wraps… It’s heartbreaking for the victims.

I don’t believe you should be kept from the truth a single moment longer…

…It’s time to shine a light on their games, once and for all.

Keeping Secrets

Is it a good idea to keep secrets in a relationship? Certainly not if they are to the detriment of the person you’re with.

Remember – you choose to be with them. Keeping secrets seems completely contradictory to why you are still holding that relationship in a meaningful light. I don’t think narcissists even consider anything so moral when they meet you. 

They’re all looking for ways to keep you pacified while they get away with whatever they do. 

Healthy You Knows You Need Transparency

And yes, I hear you. You need an honest union with the person you’ve fallen in love with.

We all do. Honesty converts to fuel that keeps your relationship alive. Without it, it’ll just burn out and die. 

Transparency is a way for both parties to communicate their needs healthily and openly. You can’t be with a narcissist and have all of those things, it’s just not possible. 

Narcissists Really Don’t Want You to Know…

#1 How Loved You Really Are

The very first thing I needed to relay to you, is how much they keep your true and authentic self away from you.

They see it as a threat to them, so instead, they wear it, you, down. They don’t like you to know that people admire and think a lot of you.

For starters, it means you have some kind of support system, and for them, that just won’t do. 

Secondly, being loved means knowing that you are in some way, loveable. They don’t want you to think that about yourself.

They want to isolate you and make you feel alone so that the only person you have to turn to, is the narcissist. 

Believing that you aren’t loved is a way of singing your favorite song that the narcissist has changed the lyrics to. 

It doesn’t make sense, yet somehow it seems familiar to you. 

And that’s why this act of cruelty works so well for them.

#2 How Clever You Are

Heaven forbid you are intelligent in some way.

Goodness knows what kind of threat you are to society in general with your brightness and your natural desire to learn and acquire knowledge. 

If you have that built-in, it will be torn down in no time. The reason for this is that you aren’t a threat to society at all – you’re a threat to the narcissist.

#3 How Naturally Kind and Compassionate You Are

Narcissists love kind and compassionate people. Not because their traits are selflessly attractive and wholesome but because they can use and abuse that aspect of them.

What comes naturally to you, they have to dig deep and work hard to imitate. Even then, they don’t get it fully right. 

When you meet a narcissist, they will tell you how much they love those qualities about you. It’ll make you feel seen and special, not to mention appreciated.

Then what happens?

Well, you’ll be called the narcissist. You’ll be told you’re selfish. Unkind. Jealous. Annoying. Critical.

You’ll be told all the things the narcissist is, or as it’s widely known to be named – projection.

They will keep your spirit down so that you lose your spark and radiance…

…Which they will steal for themselves.

#4 Who They Are Under The Mask of Deception

What good is telling you who they really are? How is that going to help you?

It won’t. 

If you knew from the start how poisonous the narcissist was, you’d never dare to sacrifice your time and energy getting to know them.

Keeping the truth from you allows them to continue taking advantage of you in all the ways they do—not just you but everybody else, too.

#5 What Their Real Motives Are

If a narcissist is in your life, you can bet they have a motive up their sleeve.

They want to wear you down, isolate you, get revenge on you, label you as some kind of trophy, and prove that they are worthy of a long-term partner. Whatever it is, you will fit the mold, and they will never allow that truth to slip out.

I will say one thing – it’s never ever about love. 

#6 Your Reality

Knowing your reality would give you a strong standing point, wouldn’t it? You’d be surrounded by your own certainty, opinions, assurance and confidence.

Without your reality, you’re nothing but somebody who becomes agreeable. You just go along with whatever they want because you don’t have any other thoughts about that matter.

I urge you to think carefully about your beliefs right now. Make sure they’re alive and kicking; if they aren’t, ask yourself who is responsible. 

#7 That They Don’t Have Real Friends

They think they do, and they will also convince you that they do.

Narcissists want to be liked and need to know that people think positively of them. In truth, narcissists can’t keep real friends. That would involve opening yourself up, sharing memories and stories, laughing, and trusting others. 

Narcissists don’t know how to do any of that, so they keep their friendships purposely superficial. 

If you think about that narcissist you know, do you think their friendships are real?

I highly doubt it.

Can You Handle Being Lied To? 

It’s a question I ask a lot of my clients, and it really opens up that self-reflection part of their minds and hearts. 

At the end of the day – all narcissists lie.

They know truths that they will never tell you. 

In exchange for their continual lies, they expect you to offer them nothing but honesty, loyalty and obedience. 

How does that make you feel, especially when you think about spending the rest of your life this way?

Is lying a deal breaker?

It ought to be. 

A healthy, long-standing relationship is based on honesty and willingness to communicate. 

Know Your Worth

I don’t want to have to spell it out for you, but there is far more to life than thinking the narcissist is the one for you.

If you can find your worth and remember it, you can promise never to give it to another person again.