Do you ever feel like you’re being shielded from something when you’re with a narcissist? Something that would make you finally see your worth?

That’s because you are.

Oh, the ways they hide crucial information from you. The ways they keep even your own potential under wraps… It’s heartbreaking for the victims.

I don’t believe you should be kept from the truth a single moment longer…

…It’s time to shine a light on their games, once and for all.

Keeping Secrets

Is it a good idea to keep secrets in a relationship? Certainly not if they are to the detriment of the person you’re with.

Remember – you choose to be with them. Keeping secrets seems completely contradictory to why you are still holding that relationship in a meaningful light. I don’t think narcissists even consider anything so moral when they meet you. 

They’re all looking for ways to keep you pacified while they get away with whatever they do. 

Healthy You Knows You Need Transparency

And yes, I hear you. You need an honest union with the person you’ve fallen in love with.

We all do. Honesty converts to fuel that keeps your relationship alive. Without it, it’ll just burn out and die. 

Transparency is a way for both parties to communicate their needs healthily and openly. You can’t be with a narcissist and have all of those things, it’s just not possible. 

Narcissists Really Don’t Want You to Know…

#1 How Loved You Really Are

The very first thing I needed to relay to you, is how much they keep your true and authentic self away from you.

They see it as a threat to them, so instead, they wear it, you, down. They don’t like you to know that people admire and think a lot of you.

For starters, it means you have some kind of support system, and for them, that just won’t do. 

Secondly, being loved means knowing that you are in some way, loveable. They don’t want you to think that about yourself.

They want to isolate you and make you feel alone so that the only person you have to turn to, is the narcissist. 

Believing that you aren’t loved is a way of singing your favorite song that the narcissist has changed the lyrics to. 

It doesn’t make sense, yet somehow it seems familiar to you. 

And that’s why this act of cruelty works so well for them.

#2 How Clever You Are

Heaven forbid you are intelligent in some way.

Goodness knows what kind of threat you are to society in general with your brightness and your natural desire to learn and acquire knowledge. 

If you have that built-in, it will be torn down in no time. The reason for this is that you aren’t a threat to society at all – you’re a threat to the narcissist.

#3 How Naturally Kind and Compassionate You Are

Narcissists love kind and compassionate people. Not because their traits are selflessly attractive and wholesome but because they can use and abuse that aspect of them.

What comes naturally to you, they have to dig deep and work hard to imitate. Even then, they don’t get it fully right. 

When you meet a narcissist, they will tell you how much they love those qualities about you. It’ll make you feel seen and special, not to mention appreciated.

Then what happens?

Well, you’ll be called the narcissist. You’ll be told you’re selfish. Unkind. Jealous. Annoying. Critical.

You’ll be told all the things the narcissist is, or as it’s widely known to be named – projection.

They will keep your spirit down so that you lose your spark and radiance…

…Which they will steal for themselves.

#4 Who They Are Under The Mask of Deception

What good is telling you who they really are? How is that going to help you?

It won’t. 

If you knew from the start how poisonous the narcissist was, you’d never dare to sacrifice your time and energy getting to know them.

Keeping the truth from you allows them to continue taking advantage of you in all the ways they do—not just you but everybody else, too.

#5 What Their Real Motives Are

If a narcissist is in your life, you can bet they have a motive up their sleeve.

They want to wear you down, isolate you, get revenge on you, label you as some kind of trophy, and prove that they are worthy of a long-term partner. Whatever it is, you will fit the mold, and they will never allow that truth to slip out.

I will say one thing – it’s never ever about love. 

#6 Your Reality

Knowing your reality would give you a strong standing point, wouldn’t it? You’d be surrounded by your own certainty, opinions, assurance and confidence.

Without your reality, you’re nothing but somebody who becomes agreeable. You just go along with whatever they want because you don’t have any other thoughts about that matter.

I urge you to think carefully about your beliefs right now. Make sure they’re alive and kicking; if they aren’t, ask yourself who is responsible. 

#7 That They Don’t Have Real Friends

They think they do, and they will also convince you that they do.

Narcissists want to be liked and need to know that people think positively of them. In truth, narcissists can’t keep real friends. That would involve opening yourself up, sharing memories and stories, laughing, and trusting others. 

Narcissists don’t know how to do any of that, so they keep their friendships purposely superficial. 

If you think about that narcissist you know, do you think their friendships are real?

I highly doubt it.

Can You Handle Being Lied To? 

It’s a question I ask a lot of my clients, and it really opens up that self-reflection part of their minds and hearts. 

At the end of the day – all narcissists lie.

They know truths that they will never tell you. 

In exchange for their continual lies, they expect you to offer them nothing but honesty, loyalty and obedience. 

How does that make you feel, especially when you think about spending the rest of your life this way?

Is lying a deal breaker?

It ought to be. 

A healthy, long-standing relationship is based on honesty and willingness to communicate. 

Know Your Worth

I don’t want to have to spell it out for you, but there is far more to life than thinking the narcissist is the one for you.

If you can find your worth and remember it, you can promise never to give it to another person again.

How To Outsmart The Narcissist?

Outsmarting a narcissist might seem like something you would never be able to do.

Think of all those times that toxic person has made you feel small, or even nothing. The idea of outsmarting them won’t come naturally to you, right?

Wrong!

You can absolutely outsmart a narcissist. They won’t see it coming, they won’t see you coming – and it will be a shock to their narcissistic system!

Finding ways to outsmart a narcissist can be fun, and it will put you right back in control of your life.

So, let’s see a show of hands to see who’s with me?

Narcissists: The Truth Behind the Mask

Narcissists! 

You’ve likely encountered them at some point in your life, right? That’s why you’re here!

Narcissists walk into a room and act like they own it, even if they’ve just walked into your kitchen. It’s incredibly frustrating.  

Masters at creating a toxic air of confidence and superiority, narcissists hide behind their mask. Behind it all? Insecurity and neediness!

You know it well, I’m certain!

Narcissists can be charming and persuasive when they want to be. 

They’re also incredibly convincing at it. 

But don’t be fooled. 

Their charm is a well-rehearsed act designed to get what they want, whether from you or from others.

They thrive on control and manipulation, and will do what it takes to continue this weird game of human chess they are experts at. 

Understanding the core of a narcissist is crucial for all of us – especially you. 

Beneath all charm and smiles, they are often fragile. They fear their true selves being exposed – and they do all they can so that doesn’t happen. 

This fragility makes them dangerous, but it also makes it possible to outsmart them. 

Once you know what exactly is lurking behind the mask, you’ll be much better equipped to deal with their toxic tactics.

They Think They’re So Clever!

Narcissists believe they are the smartest person in the world, and nobody else compares even marginally. 

They convince themselves of this, and do their best to convince others too.

They use their quote-on-quote “intelligence” to dominate conversations and situations, which only makes others feel inferior. Is this a familiar story to you? 

It is to so many people, sadly.

The narcissist has a deep sense of superiority, which acts as a double-edged sword. 

Yes, it fuels their confidence and bravado. But also, it makes them vulnerable to being outsmarted. If you think about it, anybody can outsmart them, and it certainly doesn’t take much at all. 

Their arrogance blinds them to their own weaknesses, which can backfire on them!

What does this mean? Well, it means the narcissist can sometimes really underestimate others. 

Good news for you though – as this overconfidence is where you can find your edge.

Dealing with a narcissist requires more than just holding your ground; it’s about understanding their playbook and using their own tactics against them. They think they’re so clever, but with a little knowledge and strategy, you can turn the tables.

You? Really? …

Yes! Really!

You’re here because you’ve had enough of the narcissist’s mind games, right?

Outsmarting them is now a healthy option for you, and you should definitely do all you can to do it.

If the narcissist is your friend, boss, family member or lover – the time has come to regain control and peace of mind. 

You’re so not alone.

Many people struggle with how to handle narcissists effectively. 

The key? 

Outsmart them!

Let’s get to the good bit…

How to Outsmart a Narcissist

#1 Be Firm – Set Your Boundaries!

Narcissists are known to thrive on pushing limits, no matter who they belong to. Oh yes, expect boundaries to be constantly tested. They will look for your weakness and then exploit them, until now, that is!

The first step in outsmarting a narcissist is to get your boundaries as firm and clear as possible. This means being completely transparent about behavior you will accept, and what behavior you won’t.

Don’t stop short at setting boundaries, you have to enforce them too. When that narcissist attempts to walk all over them, you have to calmly and consistently push back. 

Make your language clear – and assertive. No, they won’t like it, but hey, this isn’t about them anymore, is it? The less emotion you apply, the better. After all, narcissists feed off any kind of reaction.

Composure is key, just like consistency. 

#2 “Gray Rock”

The gray rock method is such an empowering tool when dealing with any narcissist. 

The idea of gray rock is to make yourself as uninteresting and unresponsive as possible.

You might think that sounds easy but it does take a little practice to get it just right.

Remember, narcissists crave drama and seeing you act ‘overly-emotional.’ By being boring and unengaging, you deny them that very satisfaction they seek.

Bingo!

When they try to provoke you, be bland. Be the human equivalent of vanilla.

Avoid showing anger, frustration, excitement – any of it. Over time, they are strongly likely to lose interest in trying to manipulate you because you’re not giving them the fuel they need.

You’ve become so boring!

No…. I am just doing my best to outsmart your attitude…

#3 Deflection – Master It!

Narcissists love to put you on the spot – it’s their attempt to make you feel uncomfortable. 

One way to tackle this is to master what I like to call the art of deflection.

Whenever they try to criticize or undermine you, that’s when you redirect the conversation. Ask them a question that shifts the focus back onto them or onto a neutral topic.

I’ll give you an example.

They criticize your decorating work at home (how predictable, right?) 

Now you respond with, “Interesting point. What do you think about the weather lately?” 

It sounds crazy, but it really throws them off and totally stops them in their tracks. 

#4 Information is Preparation!

Ah yes, narcissists will often use misinformation and lies to manipulate everybody else. 

You can outsmart them here by being well-informed and prepared. Do your research, re-check facts, and even have evidence to back it all up. 

Many people I know have been known to write down information or revert to old texts for screenshots to prove their points. 

This will all reduce the narcissist’s ability to use deception against you.

This is all about concrete information – and who can argue with the facts?

#5 Gather Your Support System

It’s not uncommon for narcissists to isolate their victims to assert themselves and gain more control.

You can maintain a strong network of people you love and trust. Seek support from anybody you know who may understand the situation you’re in, and who can provide advice.

Encouragement is also heavily advised here!

Having that crucial support system will help you stay grounded in your reality. When a narcissist is trying their best to get to you, you have people you can rely on to turn to. 

Let’s start unlock that potential!