Accusations – don’t you just love them?

You’re busy minding your own business, and an accusation hurtles through the air and lands at your feet.

Who is responsible?

The narcissist! – Who else?!

They’re happy as long as the blame doesn’t land at their feet.

If you want to know one thing, it’s that there are standard accusations that narcissists use.

They bring you down and create a feeling within you that leads to shame, self-blame, and guilt.

I’m definitely not alone when I actively say I want to fight against that.

Who’s with me?

Here are the top 15 accusations from narcissists, to keep you a step ahead.

Why Narcissists Love to Accuse

“When my father and I stopped talking, it was because I had suddenly had enough of being treated so badly.

His bad behavior, endless streams of insults, attacks of my personality, skills, abilities, choices and appearance became too much for me. 

My son was 4 at the time, and I already could see the patterns forming, and how ill my dad was treating him. I knew enough was enough, so I cut contact. 

Since then, my dad hasn’t once tried to contact me. He hasn’t wanted to see my son but has done other things.

He’s told all his side of the family what a terrible person I am keeping him from his grandson. He has been telling them how horrible I am, and how abusive I am to him.

There are family members who believe him, and for that I have been totally ripped apart. 

It’s been very difficult, and I struggle some days to come to terms with the fact that I’ve been painted as the bad person in all of this. But, I suppose it gets him off the hook. To most people, he’s now the victim, and I am the one who is toxic.

I used to try and defend myself, but now I just think if people want to be in my life and understand me, they will take the time to do so.”

This is a true account from somebody who was willing to share their story with you, and I could think of at least a dozen more similar from people I’ve worked with.

Do you see why narcissists accuse other people?

It should be outlawed, but instead, they’re left to get away with it each and every day. 

If you were to crack the perfect image the narcissist is trying hard to maintain, you’re going to be the one who eventually suffers as a result.

They do not want to come across as spiteful, hateful people – even though they feel this on the inside deep down underneath it all.

Listen for These 5 Accusations…

#1 You’re So Dramatic!

We will need Alanis Morrisette for this one, because the ‘ironic’ scale is completely maxed out. 

There is no way that you’re the dramatic one. You’re not the one who causes all the arguments, but that’s not what you’ll be led to believe.

There shouldn’t be a part of you that absorbs this kind of accusation. You know what it’s designed to do? It’s designed to keep you down. Quiet. Obedient. Agreeable.

None of which will work in your favor, but strangely enough, they work in favor of the narcissist.

Strange that… isn’t it?

#2 You Are Hypersensitive!

From the view of the narcissist, your sensitivity is a bad thing. Yet it seems to be the main thing that attracts them to you, doesn’t it?

So how can something so attractive be so terrible? It’s because when your sensitivity causes a problem for them, they will treat it as such.

When it’s something they can manipulate, they will love doing so. I’ll give you an example.

Pete met Louise five years ago. Louise was a model and used her looks to get any man she wanted. When Pete met her in a bar in the city, he fell immediately. He was hooked by her smile, the way she walked, and her energy. 

Loiuise frequently worked abroad on various shoots with other models, sometimes male. She would brag on social media about who she was spending time with, and after work, the models would all go out together. 

Pete would call to see how she was, but Louise regularly ignored his calls and texts. Eventually, Pete asked Louise if she still loved him, because he felt neglected. 

Louise threw a huge tantrum, calling him hypersensitive to her work schedule, and untrusting. She made Pete the one with the problem and pushed that narrative onto him. 

Eventually, Louise told Pete he had to ‘toughen up and accept her job, or she would leave.’ Pete didn’t see what he had said or done wrong, but instead of changing her behavior, Pete was told to be tougher and more accepting of her inability to communicate.

Eventually, Pete ended the relationship.

Like Pete, you have to understand that your hypersensitivity is not the problem. 

#3 Do You Know How Difficult You Are? 

No. Well, at least, you shouldn’t. 

Because you aren’t.

Being difficult to the narcissist looks like you:

• Saying no when they’re used to hearing yes
• Being unavailable to answer your phone if you’re busy
• Not being willing to defend the narcissist when they need you to
• Choosing to stand up to the narcissist when they accuse you of something else initially

You have to learn that your determination to stand up for yourself or what’s morally right isn’t difficult, nor should it be viewed that way. 

You’re only difficult to them when you aren’t complying. 

#4 You’re Absolutely Unhinged

Crazy! Insane! Off the chart! Mentally loose!

No. You aren’t. The narcissist tries to shine a light on you if you act marginally out of character, and it’s because they aren’t used to seeing that side of you. 

They are taken aback when they witness you acting with a newly found toughness. What is the intent here?

The intent is to dumb you down and make you small, so that you get in line and do as you’re told. 

That’s where they like you the most. 

#5 You Get So Jealous!

Are you asking the narcissist for an explanation? Are you asking them why they are home late for the fifth time that week?

For them, it will only point in one direction – you must be jealous!

They want to be reminded how amazing they are and how your jealousy means they’re better than everybody else. They love it, and they feel smug. 

For you – you’re not jealous. You’re fed up. You’re tired. You’re mentally and physically trapped in a relationship that makes you unhappy ,and you’re being treated with disrespect…

…And there’s a huge difference. 

How To Outsmart The Narcissist?

Outsmarting a narcissist might seem like something you would never be able to do.

Think of all those times that toxic person has made you feel small, or even nothing. The idea of outsmarting them won’t come naturally to you, right?

Wrong!

You can absolutely outsmart a narcissist. They won’t see it coming, they won’t see you coming – and it will be a shock to their narcissistic system!

Finding ways to outsmart a narcissist can be fun, and it will put you right back in control of your life.

So, let’s see a show of hands to see who’s with me?

Narcissists: The Truth Behind the Mask

Narcissists! 

You’ve likely encountered them at some point in your life, right? That’s why you’re here!

Narcissists walk into a room and act like they own it, even if they’ve just walked into your kitchen. It’s incredibly frustrating.  

Masters at creating a toxic air of confidence and superiority, narcissists hide behind their mask. Behind it all? Insecurity and neediness!

You know it well, I’m certain!

Narcissists can be charming and persuasive when they want to be. 

They’re also incredibly convincing at it. 

But don’t be fooled. 

Their charm is a well-rehearsed act designed to get what they want, whether from you or from others.

They thrive on control and manipulation, and will do what it takes to continue this weird game of human chess they are experts at. 

Understanding the core of a narcissist is crucial for all of us – especially you. 

Beneath all charm and smiles, they are often fragile. They fear their true selves being exposed – and they do all they can so that doesn’t happen. 

This fragility makes them dangerous, but it also makes it possible to outsmart them. 

Once you know what exactly is lurking behind the mask, you’ll be much better equipped to deal with their toxic tactics.

They Think They’re So Clever!

Narcissists believe they are the smartest person in the world, and nobody else compares even marginally. 

They convince themselves of this, and do their best to convince others too.

They use their quote-on-quote “intelligence” to dominate conversations and situations, which only makes others feel inferior. Is this a familiar story to you? 

It is to so many people, sadly.

The narcissist has a deep sense of superiority, which acts as a double-edged sword. 

Yes, it fuels their confidence and bravado. But also, it makes them vulnerable to being outsmarted. If you think about it, anybody can outsmart them, and it certainly doesn’t take much at all. 

Their arrogance blinds them to their own weaknesses, which can backfire on them!

What does this mean? Well, it means the narcissist can sometimes really underestimate others. 

Good news for you though – as this overconfidence is where you can find your edge.

Dealing with a narcissist requires more than just holding your ground; it’s about understanding their playbook and using their own tactics against them. They think they’re so clever, but with a little knowledge and strategy, you can turn the tables.

You? Really? …

Yes! Really!

You’re here because you’ve had enough of the narcissist’s mind games, right?

Outsmarting them is now a healthy option for you, and you should definitely do all you can to do it.

If the narcissist is your friend, boss, family member or lover – the time has come to regain control and peace of mind. 

You’re so not alone.

Many people struggle with how to handle narcissists effectively. 

The key? 

Outsmart them!

Let’s get to the good bit…

How to Outsmart a Narcissist

#1 Be Firm – Set Your Boundaries!

Narcissists are known to thrive on pushing limits, no matter who they belong to. Oh yes, expect boundaries to be constantly tested. They will look for your weakness and then exploit them, until now, that is!

The first step in outsmarting a narcissist is to get your boundaries as firm and clear as possible. This means being completely transparent about behavior you will accept, and what behavior you won’t.

Don’t stop short at setting boundaries, you have to enforce them too. When that narcissist attempts to walk all over them, you have to calmly and consistently push back. 

Make your language clear – and assertive. No, they won’t like it, but hey, this isn’t about them anymore, is it? The less emotion you apply, the better. After all, narcissists feed off any kind of reaction.

Composure is key, just like consistency. 

#2 “Gray Rock”

The gray rock method is such an empowering tool when dealing with any narcissist. 

The idea of gray rock is to make yourself as uninteresting and unresponsive as possible.

You might think that sounds easy but it does take a little practice to get it just right.

Remember, narcissists crave drama and seeing you act ‘overly-emotional.’ By being boring and unengaging, you deny them that very satisfaction they seek.

Bingo!

When they try to provoke you, be bland. Be the human equivalent of vanilla.

Avoid showing anger, frustration, excitement – any of it. Over time, they are strongly likely to lose interest in trying to manipulate you because you’re not giving them the fuel they need.

You’ve become so boring!

No…. I am just doing my best to outsmart your attitude…

#3 Deflection – Master It!

Narcissists love to put you on the spot – it’s their attempt to make you feel uncomfortable. 

One way to tackle this is to master what I like to call the art of deflection.

Whenever they try to criticize or undermine you, that’s when you redirect the conversation. Ask them a question that shifts the focus back onto them or onto a neutral topic.

I’ll give you an example.

They criticize your decorating work at home (how predictable, right?) 

Now you respond with, “Interesting point. What do you think about the weather lately?” 

It sounds crazy, but it really throws them off and totally stops them in their tracks. 

#4 Information is Preparation!

Ah yes, narcissists will often use misinformation and lies to manipulate everybody else. 

You can outsmart them here by being well-informed and prepared. Do your research, re-check facts, and even have evidence to back it all up. 

Many people I know have been known to write down information or revert to old texts for screenshots to prove their points. 

This will all reduce the narcissist’s ability to use deception against you.

This is all about concrete information – and who can argue with the facts?

#5 Gather Your Support System

It’s not uncommon for narcissists to isolate their victims to assert themselves and gain more control.

You can maintain a strong network of people you love and trust. Seek support from anybody you know who may understand the situation you’re in, and who can provide advice.

Encouragement is also heavily advised here!

Having that crucial support system will help you stay grounded in your reality. When a narcissist is trying their best to get to you, you have people you can rely on to turn to. 

Let’s start unlock that potential!