Hang on a minute! The narcissist doesn’t…doesn’t hate you?
No!
I am shocked to my core!
I thought they were full of love, hope, love, respect, and…
…Oh, who am I kidding.
Narcissists hate everybody, but they’re good at pretending to like.
If you’re past that point, and they can no longer hide their disdain, there will be good reasons.
What better time to tell you what they are than right now?
It’s Ain’t Hard To Be Hated!
The narcissist has two types of hate in their systems.
The first is outward. If they outwardly hate you, they will tell people, and that usually accompanies some kind of smear campaign, or justification for their disdain.
They wronged me!
They never paid me back!
They cheated!
They lied!
They were rude!
This will only be passed onto a select few people, but there will be outward hatred nonetheless.
The second is inward. To make it easy for you – this is everybody else. It’s true. Narcissists hate everybody, or at the very least, traits of everybody.
I’ve even known narcissists to tear down innocent people they either know or don’t know – even family!
For example, narcissistic parents can hate their children.
Narcissistic siblings can hate the other.
Narcissists can hate their so-called friends, too.
There will always be a reason, and those reasons are exactly what I want to pass onto you today.
Your Confidence Drives Them Crazy
Firstly, let’s go there.
I did it. Don’t shoot me! I’m not telling you that your confidence is a negative part of your character. In fact, I bet it’s one of the best things about you.
Confident people get things done because they have the will and drive to pursue them. They try new things and brush off if they don’t quite work out.
You like to meet new people and find it easy to talk to them. In job interviews, you draw in people and engage well. You make people laugh because you are a good storyteller.
People like you.
Life goes your way.
You don’t let things get to you.
All because confidence is something you exude.
Narcissists try to fake confidence – and yes – they win people over. But they know deep down that what they’re doing is shallow and false.
They are confidence frauds, and they know it.
What comes naturally to you, they have to work extra hard for.
Your Success is Their Downfall: Envy Central!
Congratulations! You got the job!
Well done! You smashed that half marathon!
You must be over the moon! Your house has sold!
I’m so happy for you! You reached your target!
Oh but wait, what do you think you’re doing?
You can’t congratulate somebody in front of a narcissist. You can’t willingly hand another person the spotlight when it’s shining down on that toxic person over there!
Where success is due and given, narcissists will turn green with envy.
No Room for Two
Narcissists don’t want two people in the relationship. They want:
- To be the ones who have all the say
- To be in control of what goes on in the house
- The be in charge of all the finances and plans
- To know who you’re talking to, why and how often
- To make you invisible so they can look like the protectors and dominant spouse
Your job is to really just be there when they need supply.
There isn’t room for two big characters in a narcissistic relationship; the bigger your character, the more they struggle.
Don’t get me wrong—you are likely to have a huge personality and loving nature. I am talking about overly loud, confident people who, in social settings, won’t get lost in the crowd (or indeed, wish they were lost).
The narcissist wants you quiet, so you learn not to speak of your experiences or abuse.
If you start doing so or using a louder-than-usual voice, prepare!
Growing? How Dare You!
When you plant a sunflower seed in a small pot, it will only grow so much. Eventually, you’ll need to transfer it to a bigger pot so it has room to expand.
If you don’t, it won’t.
Narcissists want to keep you in that small pot, even though you were never destined for it.
If by chance, you decide to plant yourself in a bigger pot, the narcissist will hate you for it. The audacity of you deciding what your limitations are, rather than having them placed upon you will have the narcissist spitting feathers.
Ultimately though, you’re in charge of your life, right?
You’ve Exposed Them!
Look, I won’t pretend exposing the narcissist is going to be a good idea.
Expect pure hatred if you’re standing up and telling the world the truth.
You’re doing what they thought nobody would have the courage to do. Their threats, rage, and anger were not enough for you to back down and stay silent.
For that you should be proud, but don’t for one second think the narcissist is going to love you for letting the lid off the truth.
You’re Shining Too Bright!
Wait a hot minute!
You are too much for the narcissist!
You need to calm down.
Tone down.
Be smaller somehow.
Talk more quietly.
Don’t laugh so much.
Stop being so grateful or receptive to opportunity.
Leave your hopes and dreams at the door.
Stop exuding your talent or kindness.
Turn your light off.
Your light is natural, and it doesn’t stop shining. Narcissists can’t fathom this, and instead see it as something that will outshine their own.
Narcissists want the brightest light, without failing to admit that the very light in question was stolen from other people in the first place.
If you shine too brightly, people will be drawn to you instead of the narcissist.
They won’t have that!
Showing Them Their Insecurities: Ouch!
As it stands, narcissists will hate you if you so much as breathe an ounce of their insecurities their way. Imagine being this honest with them:
I know you don’t like it when I go out. Are you afraid that I’ll find somebody else?
You seem to be holding off on decorating the bathroom. I know you made a mistake with the painting last time. Are you afraid it’ll happen again?
Imagine not forgetting something about the narcissist like that. And instead of becoming frustrated by their control or delay, do you use them as opportunities to reflect their insecurity?
My goodness – it’ll be interesting to see their reaction, that’s for sure!
One thing I do know is that you will be witness to a little (or a lot) of hate coming your way!