I often joke about narcissists and their ability to make anybody they can feel miserable.
I know you sit there and appreciate the absolute direct approach I take to these kinds of people, but let’s not get it twisted.
Narcissists are horrible.
They really are.
I wish they weren’t, but they each take their victims mentally hostage, and they cause so much pain and sadness.
It’s time we got to the bottom of that, and exactly what they do that is so horrible.
Why So Horrible?
If you’re asking the narcissist that question, they’re going to ask you what the heck you’re talking about.
They’ll adamantly tell you that they’re a good person, and that obviously you’ve got some kind of a problem.
If you’re asking me why narcissists are so horrible, I will give you the honest answer.
Being horrible is how the narcissist finds their purpose. They don’t fit in anywhere else, despite how hard they try.
They want attention, adoration; they want people to fall at their feet just to be near them.
They love a crowd and act the perfect person of society, when underneath it all, they’re full of hate and horrible behavior.
Remember Who You’re Dealing With!
It’s always a good reminder, isn’t it? Narcissists are capable of really hurting you and the people you love.
They’re easily able to reach under your skin and pull the very identity from your core.
They absolutely love to make people miserable, and will pit you against your best friend. Your parents. Your siblings.
They sleep so well at night, even though they’re physically and mentally making others suffer. They wake up with no guilt riding through their bodies.
You’re essentially dealing with a person who is only a few crucial steps away from being a total psychopath.
#1 Erasing Your Identity
First up, we have the erasure of your identity. It goes without saying that your identity is the single most important part of you, yet the very thing the narcissist wants to strip.
They don’t want you to think for yourself. Your hobbies are nothing to them, and eventually their aim is for them to mean nothing to you, too.
They hate the way you dress, how you love to go running in the mornings, and how much you enjoy the holiday season.
It’s a wholly destructive concept, because it hollows you wholly, yet the narcissist takes pride in being able to reduce you to nothing, so you can just live to obey, nod and smile.
#2 Mental Health: When It Doesn’t Matter
Like you matter at all…? We have already established that you don’t, so why would your mental health matter?
When a narcissist is able to get their claws in, they’re going to shred your mental health to pieces and laugh as you try to stay above the surface.
You can’t quite figure out why you always feel so down. You have suddenly started to feel as though you’re walking on eggshells, especially when you are around the narcissist.
You can’t help but lay awake at night worrying about what the next day will bring, or what kind of mood the narcissist will reveal to you.
Will you be able to do anything right? What decisions will you make that are inevitably going to be the wrong ones in their eyes?
They will do this, time and time again.
And you’re never going to get better all the while you remain in the environment that made you sick.
#3 Turning People Against You
I don’t want to glaze over this one. It really hurts.
People spend a lifetime building and maintaining connections and relationships that are important – even crucial – to them.
Loved ones, reliable friends, sources of strong support – and all it takes is one narcissist.
You know, they complain about you all the time.
They hate it when you call as much as you do.
I think they’re just sick of hearing about your problems.
I know you love that, but they really don’t. Even when they say they do.
It just takes a seed to be planted for it to grow out of control. You don’t see that happening. You just come to know of it later on, and by then, it’s often too late.
Narcissists do not care that what they’re doing is horrible. They just don’t.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
#4 Preventing You From Living
What do you really want from life? What did you want before you met the narcissist? What have you become since you knew them?
A lot of you might have hopes, dreams, goals and aspirations. What do you do with them while in the presence of a narcissist?
It’s difficult to imagine yourself achieving what you want if you are still involved with one.
What a horrible thing to be subjected to. To know that your life has been made smaller, worse, and less bright just because you know a narcissist who hates seeing you thrive.
You are more than just a person with an opportunity to live. You have an opportunity to exist in your joy, in your purpose. You can’t do that if you keep allowing them a foot in.
#5 Taking Away Time You Can’t Get Back
A hard fact to face is that you, in all honesty, will neer get the time spent with a narcissist back.
#6 Energy Vampires
I would consider our energy to be finite. It isn’t neverending, and there comes a time we feel ourselves running on empty.
Does that resonate with any of you?
What about your own energy? Has it gone, or do you still have some?
The worst part about being subjected to any energy vampire is that it never really happens fast. It’s so slow, like the trickling of a leaky tap eventually corroding the sink it drips into. It takes time, but it’s only when the damage is done do you realize just how long it’s been going on for.
#7 Expensive Healing Time
I often hear and see the resentment from people who are investing in healing.
Whether it’s through therapy (and I never take that personally!), or finding ways to help them sleep, or sign up to meditation apps, or joining a gym for their mental health – it can cost money.
Small or big, the victims can take away what you would have had for other things to invest in getting better.
You know what, though? It can only be a good thing if it makes you a better, stronger person at the end.
You have to put in what you want out, and sometimes that means finding the right resources for your journey to better health.
